Hello, I'm Mittens...

[Mittens2317]

Brian Mittens. I have been a confused individual for years, who was raised by the very hands of the devil himself. Plagued by an eternal doubt, I have never truly fit in with any religion at all. Oh, my love for the Lord is strong, but there are too many 'fake' religions out there. Those that fail to see God for the true, ruthless force he is. Our loving Father who watches over us and destroys any evil he sees on the land he creates for us, yet Satan's minions continue to trespass on.

I come here looking for salvation. Nay, I come here looking for forgiveness from the Lord, for spending so many years in the dark. So many years worshipping false incarnations. So many wasted years...

How could a mere mortal like myself ever make it up to the light that is our Father?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

Brian Mittens. I have been a confused individual for years, who was raised by the very hands of the devil himself. Plagued by an eternal doubt, I have never truly fit in with any religion at all. Oh, my love for the Lord is strong, but there are too many 'fake' religions out there. Those that fail to see God for the true, ruthless force he is. Our loving Father who watches over us and destroys any evil he sees on the land he creates for us, yet Satan's minions continue to trespass on.

I come here looking for salvation. Nay, I come here looking for forgiveness from the Lord, for spending so many years in the dark. So many years worshipping false incarnations. So many wasted years...

How could a mere mortal like myself ever make it up to the light that is our Father?

Well first of all, you can cut out the God-mocking avatar.

God's Plan for Salvation can be seen HERE.

How old are you? Are you some whiney emo girl? Have you ever read the Holy Bible?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

Dear friend:

As long as you are alive and have not blasphemed against the Holy Ghost, you can be saved. Now tell us about yourself. What is your favorite verse from the Bible? Have you contacted one of our Godly pastors to set up a tithing schedule yet?

[Mittens2317]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

No, I'm afraid Bibles are banned from my house. As is any talk of God altogether. My parents are Atheist pigs who fail to see the truth, so I am trying to seek out a way of this heckhole.

And I'm 19 years of age. I'm only allowed to leave the house on Sundays between 3pm-8pm, so I'll try to find a charity shop that sells bibles then.

Also, I'd like to ask how my picture is mocking God? Did I do something wrong?

[Don the Baptist]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

I was late and did not get to see the avatar. If Pastor Ezekiel says it was offensive to Jesus it must have been, I can only imagine what kind of trash it must have been. Where did that name come from? Does it have anything to do with some type of sick masturbation technique? That is quite offensive as well (the name that is).

I apologize if I offend but I have a very sensitive constitution like that. What is your favorite Bible verse, or better - what would it be if you had ever seen a Bible?

[Mittens2317]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

I was late and did not get to see the avatar. If Pastor Ezekiel says it was offensive to Jesus it must have been, I can only imagine what kind of trash it must have been. Where did that name come from? Does it have anything to do with some type of sick masturbation technique? That is quite offensive as well (the name that is).

I apologize if I offend but I have a very sensitive constitution like that. What is your favorite Bible verse, or better - what would it be if you had ever seen a Bible?

Mittens is my nickname, as Mitten is my surname. Also, the 2317 is my PIN. I always type it as my username so I don't forget it. The picture in question was just a picture of a boy in a hat I found and downloaded. I'm not sure what it could have been. Maybe because he wasn't smiling, or had huge eyes, or something.

My favourite verse, or quote, that I have heard of so far is "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth". However, I have only heard passages from the Bible, and that was in my pre-teens. My seperation from God has not made my life any easier, so I intend on getting to know my real father soon and fast.

[Don the Baptist]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

Mittens is my nickname, as Mitten is my surname. Also, the 2317 is my PIN. I always type it as my username so I don't forget it. The picture in question was just a picture of a boy in a hat I found and downloaded. I'm not sure what it could have been. Maybe because he wasn't smiling, or had huge eyes, or something.

My favourite verse, or quote, that I have heard of so far is "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth". However, I have only heard passages from the Bible, and that was in my pre-teens. My seperation from God has not made my life any easier, so I intend on getting to know my real father soon and fast.

1. Could the little boy's genitalia and hands be seen? If not, that is most likely the problem - he was playing with himself and we don't allow pictures of people masturbating on this Godly forum, bear that in mind next time son.

2. You MAY have a chance at being saved yet young fella. This comes from: Exodus 21.24 - Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot. As long as you keep in mind that God does NOT love everybody and actually hates many you might make it yet. I will certainly be praying for you.

[Mittens2317]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

1. Could the little boy's genitalia and hands be seen? If not, that is most likely the problem - he was playing with himself and we don't allow pictures of people masturbating on this Godly forum, bear that in mind next time son.

2. You MAY have a chance at being saved yet young fella. This comes from: Exodus 21.24 - Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot. As long as you keep in mind that God does NOT love everybody and actually hates many you might make it yet. I will certainly be praying for you.

This was the picture:


And I thought Jesus' teachings rendered "Eye for eye" obsolete.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

We don't need you spreading around your God mocking cartoon images here, tool. How about just putting a picture of yourself?

[Mittens2317]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

We don't need you spreading around your God mocking cartoon images here, tool. How about just putting a picture of yourself?

Oh, now I see, coz it's South Park? Don't worry, they mock everything, but it's all just to explain everybody's views in a simplistic manner. You should watch the one about mormons, and you may understand that they're only mocking religion to make people laugh, but they still give a voice to that religion's beliefs.

And you wouldn't want a picture of myself, I look too much like a fictional killer (I have a facial disfigurement and skin disease).

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello, I'm Mittens...

And you wouldn't want a picture of myself, I look too much like a fictional killer (I have a facial disfigurement and skin disease).

Once you've repented, started reading the King James Bible, and set up a tithing schedule, our pastors will gladly faith-heal you for a modest love offering.