[Brother D. Thomas]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Faith_Machine,

You're late to the story. My stating that Mary is hell bound has already been addressed by my "betters" with infractions, and the fact of chastising me to where I feel like a pair of brown shoes at an Italian wedding.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

My dear hell bound Sister of Eve, Mary Etheldreda...

Mister, you are cruising for a bruising!

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Professor Bessemer,

The last thing that I wanted in heaven was to see my former seven wives! Therefore, I searched the scriptures with an acute eye to find any godly logic to why I won’t see them, or any woman in heaven when I arrive. I therefore came up with the following synopsis to support why there’re no women in heaven.

There are no females in the kingdom of heaven is found by the fact that the angels (sons of God) had to come down to earth to take women as wives. (Genesis 6:1-5). They had to come to earth because there obviously was no women in heaven.

The scriptures also tell us that when we are resurrected we will be neither Greek nor Jew, bond nor free, male or female. (Galatians 3:28). In Matthew 22:30, it tells us that we will neither marry nor be given in marriage, but that we will be as the angels in heaven. If we’re to be like angels, then all mention of angels in the scriptures were male. Besides, the scriptures above clearly tell us that there won’t be two genders in heaven.

This does not mean that women will not go to heaven; it simply means that when they arrive, they will become a new creature (II Corinthians 5:17), and the new creatures are male and not female!

There is no reason for women to be in heaven because we had to put up with them while on earth, and heaven should be a peaceful place. Women served their earthly purpose while on earth by being created for man (1 Corinthians 11:17), and to be a vessel for procreation based on God's will to only create man in His own image, and not women. (Genesis 1:26)

Since there is neither male nor female in heaven, there will be no need for procreation, and the female gender is not needed because all new creatures will have the type of body that Jesus has (Phi 3:21) and we will all be eternal, therefore no women.

This is why I believe through the scriptures, that there are no feminine creatures in the spiritual kingdom, praise!
______________________________________

Your use of 1 Timothy 2:12-15 to support women being saved, is subjectively walking on thin ice when administering the word of our God to the Sisters of Eve. As you admitted too, "certain women" are saved with this passage. In my ministries, I never bring up this passage at my late night bible studies with women, because it only precludes that women who are with child are saved. This purports that women who cannot have children because of a godly predisposed malady, or that do not want to have any rug rats whatsoever, are not saved!

We must keep them in the fold so that they will tithe in the proper manner, and continue to have that carrot placed in front of them so as not to be any more of a problem than what they are to begin with. Therefore, I appease them with the simple passage of John 14:6 and leave it at that. ( I obviously don't tell them of my theory mentioned above of why there're no women in heaven for obvious reasons)

With your godly knowledge, I am sure you’ve heard this adage before, but I will place it here nonetheless. Let’s deduce this notion to it’s irreducible primary, and that is, there are no women in heaven is proven in Revelation 8:1; "When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour." 2+2=4.

Perhaps I can help solve your dilemma with the quote button. I can assure you that I am a 100% saved True Christian™ male. The fact that I used to be a disgusting, unsaved sodomite is beside the point. Now, if I tell you how to use the quote and multiquote function, can we get past the fact that a mere woman mentioned it in the first place? I do hope so, as the discussion of that rather insignificant occurrence is becoming quite tedious.

To respond to a particular post, simply click the quote button. To respond to multiple posts with a single response, click the small button with the plus sign on it in all the posts you wish to respond to. It is directly to the right of the quote button. It will turn orange when you do this, indicating that you have selected that post. At this point, you need to click the quote button in the last post that you have selected to open the window where you type your response.

Is that clear enough? And since The Lord made me a man*, I do hope you are able to follow my instructions. Thank you for your time.


*The fact that I lost my penis and testicles to a necrotizing faciitis infection during my Ex-Gay© treatment is just as irrelevant as the fact that I was once a raging queer whose hunger for semen could never be satisfied.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Mrs Portway,

Despite the fact that God cursed your womb and made you birth a gibbering, furry freak, you are taking in your instruction from Capt. Portway remarkably well. To be frank with you, I had you down for a bit of a simpleton but the way you type, it's as if Capt. Portway himself (and through him Jesus Himself) were guiding your clumsy fingers.

You are so right to follow your husband and tell this false prophet off. He's a bad man and you need to not listen to him at all. Aaron can tell you all you need to know about how to deal with this sort of foul oh-so-clever God mocker.

(I think he's really an atheist trying to pretend to be a True Christian to mock God and try to make following the Bible look ridiculous. They're the worst sort of people; ask Aaron.)

I'm sure when he gets home from his latest flight he'll not feel like beating you at all. He might even feel like trying to give you another baby to see if you can not mess it up this time.

[Mrs. Naomi Portway]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Mrs. Naomi Portway,

With as much respect that I can muster to you because of you being a second-class woman, as the bible so dictates, I prefer to be more personal when quoting. Therefore, I don’t use the quote option. You can be forthwith and continue to be a woman in the likes of a sheep and continue to use the quote button at your convenience.

What I don’t understand here at Landover is the fact of letting women like yourself to teach or usurp the authority over the superior man on a continued basis! I will refer you to the following passage that I am sure our God expects you to follow; “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor usurp the authority over the man, but to be in silence.” (Timothy 2:12)

Instead of trying in vain to tell men what to do, why don’t you get back to your godly womanly duties in taking care of your husband in every way? “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as even as Christ is head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in every way.” (Ephesians 5: 22-24 ) Key words; in every way!

Such insolence!

Dr Laurence Niles,

"The new guy totally smacked down by the good captain's woman (of all people)."

My Brother in Christ, if you accept, or allow, the likes of a Naomi Portway to teach and/or to usurp the authority over a man, or the "new guy" in this case, then you go directly against our God's word in Timothy 2:12! Where do you get the authority to know more than the God that we worship?!

My dear Mary,

Within context, Namoi Portway is teaching me in the vein of telling me how to use the quote function, and not about the Holy Scriptures. According to our God’s inspired word in Timothy 2:12, and as a superior man as the bible promotes ad infinitum, this is not her duty to do so in any way whatsoever. Conversely, I am trying to teach Namoi the Holy Scriptures that she is to follow, and especially as a woman.

Simply put, I do not use the quote function, but subjectively instead, use my own quotes within my godly dialog, therefore, usurping this function in any way is not relative and is moot.

Mary, my dear, here I am being continually disparaged in many ways by my alleged “betters” within this thread, but when I refute them as our Savior promotes, with Christian logic 101 and biblical backup, I am then called upon the proverbial carpet? It’s like the old guard has the AR-15’s, and all I am allowed to have is a pocket knife!

Mary, you seem to be a real nice person, but my Judeo-Christian bible will not allow me to show you any type of respect since you're a woman. Any passages that says otherwise, only convolutes the matter in that they therefore become contradicting. So, mum's the word. For that, I and many others, are saddened, but we're to follow the doctrine that our God has set forth in this respect.

How would Jesus respond to my situation? He said it quite distinctly, to wit: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11-12)

Praise Jesus!

Mary Etheldreda,

In prayer with Jesus, just moments ago, He has explicitly told me that Mr. Portway has definitely dropped the ball regarding the fact of letting his wife run roughshod over me as the superior man!

She is not teaching me, but she's helping me? Huh? You say tomatoe, I say tomato! The proper semantics in this case, is in fact, she is teaching me how to use the quote function, which under the guise of Timothy 2:12, she is not to do, period!

I can only imagine Mr. Portway’s home life, in the context that if he lets his wife act in the ungodly manner shown within this thread, then he can only be a milque toast in his home life. He should stop her ungodly actions against me post haste! (Ephesians 5: 22-24 )

At this time, I have to attend to my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministry, where I specialize in proselytizing to the wayward women that for the most part, use the bus when leaving their husbands around the USA, and are usually without a place to stay. The 2:15 via Dry Prong, LA is due in shortly, so I bid you farewell at this time.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence? Only God knows for sure.

See how I did that? You can even use that little plus sign to quote more than one post at a time. It's not even that hard, all you have to do is click it with your mouse.

Anyway, Aaron says he doesn't even need to post here, since even I ought to be able to deal with the likes of you. He's got bigger fish to fry, seeing as how I wrecked dinner last time he brought home those bass he caught.

So, you think your so smart, but you don't even follow the Bible. Saved people (like us) are better than unsaved people (like you). It's in the Bible all over the place, whenever God says for the chosen people to kill the unsaved people. The wives of the chosen people live, and the unsaved men, women, and kids all die, all of them.

And you're an unsaved man, so that means God doesn't care what happens to you. But He loves me and wants me in heaven. Aaron told me that. And he said you'll die and go to hell real soon, and that makes me happy.

YIC

Mrs. Aaron Portway

[Brother D. Thomas]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Well, it’s happened again! Instead of my virile and manly picture next to my name to the upper left, Satan has obviously entered my profile panel and has replaced it with a picture of my 5th wife. He does this to goad me because he knows that I owe her child support and alimony.

Satan does this act in other forums as well, especially subsequent to the fact of me promoting and preaching true Christianity to the pseudo-christian and heathens of this world. My ever so godly dialog makes him squirm and look like a fool, so this is the way he pays me back.

As our Jesus once said in Matthew 4:10, “Away from me, Satan!”

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Judeo Christian?

Sounds like Joo lawyer talk to me.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Hello Brother D. Thomas. First of all what does the D stand for. If you said already I did not catch it. Second I want to know if you ever had an accident that changed the shape of your head. I am not trying to be mean I had an accident like that it is a long story. The doctors did the best they could they did not have a good starting point.

I now have something called neurocognitive deficit which makes things hard to understand which is not very nice and I can also smell people a lot better which can be good or bad depending on the person.

The reason I ask is because I think the Pastors and True Christians(tm) are trying to tell you something but you are not understanding them. I hope you do not wear too much cologne.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Mary Etheldreda,

In prayer with Jesus, just moments ago, He has explicitly told me that Mr. Portway has definitely dropped the ball regarding the fact of letting his wife run roughshod over me as the superior man!

No. The Holy Spirit did not just tell you that. You, dear, are either lying to yourself, or are infested with so many anal demons that they have started in on your brain. Certainly you aren't so foolish as to try and lie to us here on God's favorite forum. Do you honestly think He would steer His faithful wrong? What kind of clown do you think the LORD of Lords is, exactly?

She is not teaching me, but she's helping me? Huh? You say tomatoe, I say tomato! The proper semantics in this case, is in fact, she is teaching me how to use the quote function, which under the guise of Timothy 2:12, she is not to do, period!

As I am not a pastor myself, my opinion as to how this particular verse applies to the teaching of scripture in church, not how to use a civilized quote function on a forum, is rather unnecessary. Suffice it to say, I believe these anal demons have bored holes right through your brain and are messing with your cognitive functions.

I can only imagine Mr. Portway’s home life, in the context that if he lets his wife act in the ungodly manner shown within this thread, then he can only be a milque toast in his home life. He should stop her ungodly actions against me post haste! (Ephesians 5: 22-24 )

I rather doubt you can imagine Mr. Portway's home life, and if you had read any other threads in this forum, you would be extending sympathetic prayers rather than trying to pick a fight with a man who has done you no wrong.

[Betty Sue]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Mary Etheldreda,

In prayer with Jesus, just moments ago, He has explicitly told me that Mr. Portway has definitely dropped the ball regarding the fact of letting his wife run roughshod over me as the superior man!

She is not teaching me, but she's helping me? Huh? You say tomatoe, I say tomato! The proper semantics in this case, is in fact, she is teaching me how to use the quote function, which under the guise of Timothy 2:12, she is not to do, period!

I can only imagine Mr. Portway’s home life, in the context that if he lets his wife act in the ungodly manner shown within this thread, then he can only be a milque toast in his home life. He should stop her ungodly actions against me post haste! (Ephesians 5: 22-24 )

At this time, I have to attend to my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministry, where I specialize in proselytizing to the wayward women that for the most part, use the bus when leaving their husbands around the USA, and are usually without a place to stay. The 2:15 via Dry Prong, LA is due in shortly, so I bid you farewell at this time.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence? Only God knows for sure.

tl;dr

but how did you turn intoa woman? I THOUGHT A Brother was a man?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

This is what the Bible says about who has "superiority" over me.

In order

1. God/Jesus/The Word
   
2. Husband
3. Father
4. Pastor

In our community, the True Christian men are held in esteem, but that is only because of their PROVEN Godliness.



You, not so much.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

...24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence? Only God knows for sure.

God wants us to nurse beers for that long?

Drink American beer that slowly, you'd not even catch a good buzz.

[Brother D. Thomas]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

Mary Etheldreda,

In prayer with Jesus, just moments ago, He has explicitly told me that Mr. Portway has definitely dropped the ball regarding the fact of letting his wife run roughshod over me as the superior man!

She is not teaching me, but she's helping me? Huh? You say tomatoe, I say tomato! The proper semantics in this case, is in fact, she is teaching me how to use the quote function, which under the guise of Timothy 2:12, she is not to do, period!

I can only imagine Mr. Portway’s home life, in the context that if he lets his wife act in the ungodly manner shown within this thread, then he can only be a milque toast in his home life. He should stop her ungodly actions against me post haste! (Ephesians 5: 22-24 )

At this time, I have to attend to my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministry, where I specialize in proselytizing to the wayward women that for the most part, use the bus when leaving their husbands around the USA, and are usually without a place to stay. The 2:15 via Dry Prong, LA is due in shortly, so I bid you farewell at this time.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence? Only God knows for sure.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

My dear Mary,

Her name is Mrs. Etheldreda. And I'm pretty certain that she isn't your "dear."

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Praise my fellow true Christians!

My dear Mary,

Within context, Namoi Portway is teaching me in the vein of telling me how to use the quote function, and not about the Holy Scriptures. According to our God’s inspired word in Timothy 2:12, and as a superior man as the bible promotes ad infinitum, this is not her duty to do so in any way whatsoever. Conversely, I am trying to teach Namoi the Holy Scriptures that she is to follow, and especially as a woman.

Please keep a couple things in mind, dear. Mrs. Portway is not teaching you, she's helping you by sharing with a software feature of which you might not have been familiar. Offering friendly aid is considered hospitable in polite society. Also, Mr. Porway is perfectly capable of teaching his wife the proper interpretation and practical application of Holy Scripture. It is only proper to let him correct any faults the LORD shares with him in the privacy of their own home. We need not get involved between a True Christian™ husband and his wife.

Simply put, I do not use the quote function, but subjectively instead, use my own quotes within my godly dialog, therefore, usurping this function in any way is not relative and is moot.

This is understood. Thank you for your explanation.

Mary, my dear, here I am being continually disparaged in many ways by my alleged “betters” within this thread, but when I refute them as our Savior promotes, with Christian logic 101 and biblical backup, I am then called upon the proverbial carpet? It’s like the old guard has the AR-15’s, and all I am allowed to have is a pocket knife!

Mary, you seem to be a real nice person, but my Judeo-Christian bible will not allow me to show you any type of respect since you're a woman. Any passages that says otherwise, only convolutes the matter in that they therefore become contradicting. So, mum's the word. For that, I and many others, are saddened, but we're to follow the doctrine that our God has set forth in this respect.

With regard to Mrs. Portway, the respect would be naturally shown to Mr. Portway, lest he get the impression you think he's not doing his husbandly duty.

How would Jesus respond to my situation? He said it quite distinctly, to wit: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:11-12)

Praise Jesus!

I would accept the gentle rebuke of True Christians™ as the gentle rebuke of the LORD Himself (2 Corinthians 5:20). I may then consider exploring other threads in our extensive forum, and contribute to sharing the love of Christ by illuminating the glory and wonder of His Divine Will as revealed through the Holy Bible.