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  • YoungMind
    Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash whore
    Under Investigation
    • Feb 2013
    • 8
    #1

    Hello, Good Christians

    Hello Sirs and Madams. I am a young mind that is researching different religions. I don't practice a religion, for I was raised by atheist parents. I have been reading the KJ1611 Bible and I have been enjoying what I've been reading very much. It's hard for me to understand, though, for the Bible is written with an older style of English, and they don't teach us how to read that kind of writing in school. I've been looking for people who took the Bible literally in order to avoid confusing and personal interpretations. I was so relieved to find this wonderful group who DO take the Bible LITERALLY, which is very rare among honest people. Would you good True Christians answer my questions about the word of God? My young mind needs molding and I think you guys are the right ones to do it.
    I am a 17 year old female and I attend High School.
    I don't attend a church, for as I said, I live with atheist parents and they didn't teach me to do that.
    My favorite bible verse is Job 5:2.
    I have not yet found Jesus, but I am ready to accept him into my heart!
    Tags: None
    • Nobar King
      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
      Christ's Guardian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2007
      • 23748
      #2
      Re: Hello, Good Christians

      Well, to start with, you should captialize 'Bible' and not high school.
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment

        • YoungMind
          Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash whore
          Under Investigation
          • Feb 2013
          • 8
          #3
          Re: Hello, Good Christians

          Yes sir, Mr. King. I will keep that in mind.

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050
              #4
              Re: Hello, Good Christians

              Welcome to our safe and friendly community, young lady. It's always such a pleasure for me to be able to talk to a young person such as yourself who's interested in The Bible! Do you have a Web cam?
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • YoungMind
                  Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash whore
                  Under Investigation
                  • Feb 2013
                  • 8
                  #5
                  Re: Hello, Good Christians

                  Unfortunately, I do not own a web cam, Mr. Faith Machine. I thank you for the warm welcome, though. I can't wait to baptized in the Love of Jesus! You all are bursting with His warmth and knowledge, I can see that in your words! This forum is very insightful.

                    Comment

                    • Witch Hammer
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 1717
                      #6
                      Re: Hello, Good Christians

                      Originally posted by YoungMind View Post
                      I have not yet found Jesus, but I am ready to accept him into my heart!
                      Well, what's stopping you now, sinner? Before we go much further with this, you should openly beg Christ to forgive your sins (you can post some of the more carnal ones, if you please...so that the Good Christians here can better understand your depravity, and pray more efficiently to Jesus on your behalf). Then tell Him that you accept His conditional gift of Love and Salvation™, that you believe He was crucified and died temporarily for your sins, and that you are ready to take a nice hot shower in the Blood of The Lamb. Use your own words of course, but be sincere. After you've been saved, then you can ask your questions without fear of rebuke, demon...

                        Comment

                        • YoungMind
                          Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash whore
                          Under Investigation
                          • Feb 2013
                          • 8
                          #7
                          Re: Hello, Good Christians

                          Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
                          Well, what's stopping you now, sinner? Before we go much further with this, you should openly beg Christ to forgive your sins (you can post some of the more carnal ones, if you please...so that the Good Christians here can better understand your depravity, and pray more efficiantly to Jesus on your behalf). Then tell Him that you accept His conditional gift of Love and Salvation™, that you believe He was crucified and died temporarily for your sins, and that you are ready to take a nice hot shower in the Blood of The Lamb. Use your own words of course, but be sincere. After you've been saved, then you can ask your questions without fear of rebuke, demon...
                          You're right, I need to accept Jesus at this very moment! I will open myself to Him, and let HIS LOVE burst inside of me! Praise, I feel the Holy Spirit fill me already!

                          Oh, I have been sinful. In my reading of The Bible, I have seen my awful ways, and I have felt terribly burdened and ashamed. I was sure Jesus wouldn't love or accept me because of it. I will confess, I had relations with a female friend of mine. She would bring me to her bedroom when her parents were away, and make strong advancements on me. I was bewitched by that awful harlot! I didn't know! I had never read The Holy Bible! I don't want to be too detailed about what we did. I see now it was disgusting and evil. She was the devil in silky flesh and golden hair!

                          I'm sure a Pastor would stomach my stories better, for we had many encounters. I'm so ashamed I hope Jesus will forgive me!

                            Comment

                            • Levi Jones
                              Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                              Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                              Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                               
                              • Jul 2009
                              • 13930
                              #8
                              Re: Hello, Good Christians

                              Welcome, young lady again. It feels like I know you from somewhere.

                              Anyhoo, I am so glad to see you being filled with Christ's love instead of seed from any man with $20.

                              Shout glory.
                              Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                                Comment

                                • YoungMind
                                  Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash whore
                                  Under Investigation
                                  • Feb 2013
                                  • 8
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hello, Good Christians

                                  Thank you, Mr. Jones. Have you been to Manteca, California? I have lived there for quite a while before recently moving. Perhaps you have seen me there? It's too bad I didn't notice I was in the presence of a True Christian

                                    Comment

                                    • Witch Hammer
                                      True Christian™
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Sep 2006
                                      • 1717
                                      #10
                                      Re: Hello, Good Christians

                                      Originally posted by YoungMind View Post
                                      You're right, I need to accept Jesus at this very moment! I will open myself to Him, and let HIS LOVE burst inside of me! Praise, I feel the Holy Spirit fill me already!

                                      Oh, I have been sinful. In my reading of The Bible, I have seen my awful ways, and I have felt terribly burdened and ashamed. I was sure Jesus wouldn't love or accept me because of it. I will confess, I had relations with a female friend of mine. She would bring me to her bedroom when her parents were away, and make strong advancements on me. I was bewitched by that awful harlot! I didn't know! I had never read The Holy Bible! I don't want to be too detailed about what we did. I see now it was disgusting and evil. She was the devil in silky flesh and golden hair!

                                      I'm sure a Pastor would stomach my stories better, for we had many encounters. I'm so ashamed I hope Jesus will forgive me!
                                      Yes...YES!! Prase Jesus! Congratulations on making this bold move towards The Kingdom of Heaven, and allowing His rod & staff to comfort thee! GLORY!!

                                        Comment

                                        • Levi Jones
                                          Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                                          Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                                          Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                                           
                                          • Jul 2009
                                          • 13930
                                          #11
                                          Re: Hello, Good Christians

                                          Originally posted by YoungMind View Post
                                          Thank you, Mr. Jones. Have you been to Manteca, California? I have lived there for quite a while before recently moving. Perhaps you have seen me there? It's too bad I didn't notice I was in the presence of a True Christian
                                          That's Pastor Jones or Pastor Levi to my friends. You may call me Pastor Jones.

                                          I have certainly never been to a hellhole like Sacramento in my life.

                                          I prefer Napa or San Francisco if I'm northern California. Malibu, Palm Springs (in the winter) or La Jolla in the south.

                                          My email is in my signature if you need me to counsel you through your disgusting lezbo ways. To get a better sense of your sins, any pictures of yourself and or the girl in question would be helpful.

                                          In Christ,
                                          Pastor Jones
                                          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                                            Comment

                                            • YoungMind
                                              Unsaved trash, teenaged eurotrash whore
                                              Under Investigation
                                              • Feb 2013
                                              • 8
                                              #12
                                              Re: Hello, Good Christians

                                              Thank you so much, True Christian men, for helping me find Jesus! I hope my soul can be saved so that I may sit in the lap of our Savior Praise!

                                                Comment

                                                • Witch Hammer
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 1717
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Hello, Good Christians

                                                  Originally posted by YoungMind View Post
                                                  Thank you so much, True Christian men, for helping me find Jesus! I hope my soul can be saved so that I may sit in the lap of our Savior Praise!
                                                  May your cup overflow always with God's love.

                                                    Comment

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