False Rev. Looking To Be Cured

[Rev Rogie]

Hi Everyone,

I'm a long serving Rev from the United Kingdom in a small church.

I found my faith in Jesus a long time ago, but recently I have sinned and I need to be cured, I heard that this is a good place to go to talk about homosex and how to be "cured" so here I am.

Recently I sinned!....

I had consumed an unhealthy amount of alcohol with a friend, and woke up in the morning to find my anal cavity sore, i struggled to sit up or walk and there was a condom laying beside me... I fear I may have engaged in Homosexual relations...

I do not remember the night, though I know I was sore...down there.. This is not a joke I genuinely need to talk to like-minded individuals.

I can provide images of the afflicted areas in Private Message if anyone wants to see to be able to help me or bless me further.

Thanks so much and I hope I am welcome in your community...

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Budding Rev. Looking To Be Cured

tl:dr

What church do you attend? What is your favorite Bible verse?

Tell me about your walk with Jesus, not your waltz on the wild side.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Mary Thompson]

Re: Budding Rev. Looking To Be Cured

Hi and welcome to our friendly forums.
Are you a Baptist? Are you married? What is your favourite Bible verse?
As for your gay activity, spend a long time praying for God's forgivness and if He thinks you should be forgiven, He will lessen the pain, if you did not pray hard enough for His forgivness, accept that you deserve the pain for engaging in unGodly activity.
YiC,
Mary Thompson.

[Rev Rogie]

Re: Budding Rev. Looking To Be Cured

What church do you attend? What is your favorite Bible verse?

Tell me about your walk with Jesus, not your waltz on the wild side.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

Apologies, just looking for forgiveness.

My favourite verse is:

Psalm 32:8-10
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you."

The guidance inspires me.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Budding Rev. Looking To Be Cured

Recently I sinned!....

I had consumed an unhealthy amount of alcohol with a friend, and woke up in the morning to find my anal cavity sore

Sorry to say, homer, that you are likely beyond help and are doomed to attend satan's eternal weenie-roast. If you engage in sodomy during your alcoholic blackouts, and have no memory of it in the morning, and only a sphincter that looks like a doughnut made out of raw hamburger to tell the tale of your sin, then how can you sincerely repent? Maybe you should get a digicam and leave it running the next time you decide to get blind drunk with your "friend", so that you and Jesus can review the footage in the morning

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Budding Rev. Looking To Be Cured

Hello Rev Rogie.

You are using a funny version of the Bible the good people here use the King James Version and Psalms 32:8-10 says this:

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee. Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about.

I do not want to see you with a bit and bridle in your mouth.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Budding Rev. Looking To Be Cured

How can you repent if you don't know what you did? For all anyone knows you where raped.

But that could just as likely serve you right for putting yourself into a dangerous situation in the first place.

Probably serves you right.

YIC

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: False Rev. Looking To Be Cured

I had consumed an unhealthy amount of alcohol with a friend...

You have not mentioned the sex of your friend yet (which is the critical factor).

[Alterboy]

Re: False Rev. Looking To Be Cured

Have you had homosodomite tendencies before?
If not, shrug it off... Make sure it doesn't happen again and then ask Jesus for forgiveness. Devote your life to comabting the evil of homers.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: False Rev. Looking To Be Cured

If this guy's a Reverend, then I'm flipping oysterburgers for the king of Spain.

[Alterboy]

Re: False Rev. Looking To Be Cured

He at least admits that he is a FALSE Reverend! Ha!
He knows he isn't a True Christian.
Honesty is a good step to becoming a true Christian.

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: False Rev. Looking To Be Cured

You have not mentioned the sex of your friend yet (which is the critical factor).

Sister MitzaLizalor,

Your post brings back memories of an old Sears ad promoting "Snap-On-Tools".

Another thing this pervert fails to mention is what species his friend is.

YIC

[Faith_Machine]

Re: False Rev. Looking To Be Cured

Rev Rogie, you keep saying "recently I sinned," as if that is an unusual occurrence. Don't you sin every day? I sure did before I got saved.