[Faith_Machine]

Re: Good day.

Well I had a short temper before I found Jesus, I will be the first to admit I lashed out for things that could have been solved with a conversation or by simply walking away; instead I resorted to violence. I figured that seeings I feel guilty about it, it must be a sin of some kind.

You might be right, but I've found it's always good to use the following rule of thumb:

Whenever I find myself feeling guilty, I ask myself, "Am I feeling guilty because of something some feminist or Democrat said to me?"

If the answer is yes, I immediately stop feeling guilty.

The only things that should make you feel guilty are the things you read in the Bible!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good day.

So how would I repent? Simply list my wrong doings and apologize? is there ritual? Must I complete a task?

Step one: Read the KJV Bible from cover to cover.

Step two: Beg Jesus to take charge of your life. On your knees.

Step three: Promise Him that you will repent of your perversions and sins.

Step four: Get washed in His Blood.

Step five: Tithe robustly to God's favorite church.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Good day.

Well I had a short temper before I found Jesus, I will be the first to admit I lashed out for things that could have been solved with a conversation or by simply walking away; instead I resorted to violence. I figured that seeings I feel guilty about it, it must be a sin of some kind.

Feelings are no indication of sin, dear. Why, do you see any indication that these people feel guilt for rejecting the temporary sacrifice of our LORD? They look positively proud.

[Mike Benevolent]

Re: Good day.

Well frankly the odds are not good. The Holy Bible tells us that on the first day the Jesus returns, He's going to slay a third of the earth's population. One Third! And frankly, I'm not convinced of your sincerity in repenting of all the degenerate sin that you've been wallowing in. Without repentance, there can be no Salvation©.

So how would I repent? Simply list my wrong doings and apologize? is there ritual? Must I complete a task?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good day.

Well frankly the odds are not good. The Holy Bible tells us that on the first day the Jesus returns, He's going to slay a third of the earth's population. One Third! And frankly, I'm not convinced of your sincerity in repenting of all the degenerate sin that you've been wallowing in. Without repentance, there can be no Salvation(c).

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Mike Benevolent]

Re: Good day.

I am also still waiting for a Pastor to comment on my chances of being accepted into the kingdom of heaven.

[Mike Benevolent]

Re: Good day.

Friend, we're interested in your sins. Surely you don't think fighting men is a sin? Maybe if you fought women, that might make you guilty of being a sissy or a coward, but I don't see any problem with you laying a Godly beating on a man if he happens to insult you or your football team.

Well I had a short temper before I found Jesus, I will be the first to admit I lashed out for things that could have been solved with a conversation or by simply walking away; instead I resorted to violence. I figured that seeings I feel guilty about it, it must be a sin of some kind.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Good day.

...I have fought men...

Friend, we're interested in your sins. Surely you don't think fighting men is a sin? Maybe if you fought women, that might make you guilty of being a sissy or a coward, but I don't see any problem with you laying a Godly beating on a man if he happens to insult you or your football team.

[Mike Benevolent]

Re: Good day.

Well, that would be MRS Holly, but you are very welcome. As for the rest of your questions, I'm sure a Pastor will visit soon to help you with any questions you might have. In the meantime, I would suggest you just read, read, read, your KJV Bible (here's a great online link i use for finding scriptures http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/1611-Bible/) and also spend time reading posts in the forums to know what is Godly here, and what is frowned upon.

Yours in Christ,

Holly

I do sincerely apologize Mrs Holly, I did not mean to shame you by insinuating that you weren't married. Thank you for the link I shall, I find there are a lot of godless people that tarnish posts with filth, clogging up useful posts with satanic nonsense.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Good day.

I shall brother. I myself am still Unsaved Trash although I am working hard to change this. Any advice for an aspiring soldier of Christ?

Get a KJV Bible and read it cover-to-cover. SKIP NOTHING. Start at Genesis 1:1 and end at Revelation 22:21.

Keep in mind this is the LITERAL Word of God.

Have fun!

YiC,

Zech

[Mike Benevolent]

Re: Good day.

Hello Mike.

First of all, get rid of that ESV PERversion of the Bible and get yourself a proper King James Version. See how in your quote it mentions "four living creatures" ? That should be four BEASTS! What else have they changed or watered down?

Second, don't listen to Unsaved Trash.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

I shall brother. I myself am still Unsaved Trash although I am working hard to change this. Any advice for an aspiring soldier of Christ?

[Holly Graham]

Re: Good day.

Your kindness has touched my heart, thank you Miss Holly.

As I referred to earlier, I am almost completely new to this church and am very uneducated in the ways and customs of your wonderful church. I would appreciate being given an idea of what type of woman I should pursue and how I should discipline her. I would ask what you mean by testimony? I apologise for my wet-behind-the-ears demeanour but please believe me I wish to become a solid member of this church so if you could shed some light on what would be expected of me?

Thank you.

Well, that would be MRS Holly, but you are very welcome. As for the rest of your questions, I'm sure a Pastor will visit soon to help you with any questions you might have. In the meantime, I would suggest you just read, read, read, your KJV Bible (here's a great online link i use for finding scriptures http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/1611-Bible/) and also spend time reading posts in the forums to know what is Godly here, and what is frowned upon.

Yours in Christ,

Holly

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Good day.

Hello Mike.

First of all, get rid of that ESV PERversion of the Bible and get yourself a proper King James Version. See how in your quote it mentions "four living creatures" ? That should be four BEASTS! What else have they changed or watered down?

Second, don't listen to Unsaved Trash.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Mike Benevolent]

Re: Good day.

Hi Mike, and welcome!!

I am glad you chose to come to our Church. I am a newer member, but so far have LOVED getting to know the Lord better through this Holy forum (and God's Favorite!).

I can't wait to eventally read your testimony as to how you are repenting for your previous sins, but I will leave it to a Pastor to decide if you are worthy of repentance.

I assume you do not have a wife at this time. Hopefully you will acquire one soon so that you may do as you are commanded by the Lord our God (Genesis 1:28). You may find that many of the ladies here in LBC can give you some ideas in what to look for in a Godly wife, and how to discipline her accordingly. We all know our places around here! (1 Corinthians 11:3)



Again, welcome.

Your kindness has touched my heart, thank you Miss Holly.

As I referred to earlier, I am almost completely new to this church and am very uneducated in the ways and customs of your wonderful church. I would appreciate being given an idea of what type of woman I should pursue and how I should discipline her. I would ask what you mean by testimony? I apologise for my wet-behind-the-ears demeanour but please believe me I wish to become a solid member of this church so if you could shed some light on what would be expected of me?

Thank you.

[Holly Graham]

Re: Good day.

Hi Mike, and welcome!!

I am glad you chose to come to our Church. I am a newer member, but so far have LOVED getting to know the Lord better through this Holy forum (and God's Favorite!).

I can't wait to eventally read your testimony as to how you are repenting for your previous sins, but I will leave it to a Pastor to decide if you are worthy of repentance.

I assume you do not have a wife at this time. Hopefully you will acquire one soon so that you may do as you are commanded by the Lord our God (Genesis 1:28). You may find that many of the ladies here in LBC can give you some ideas in what to look for in a Godly wife, and how to discipline her accordingly. We all know our places around here! (1 Corinthians 11:3)



Again, welcome.