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  • Brother-Jon
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Jun 2013
    • 29

    #1

    Greetings!

    I am so blessed to have found this forum! God and Jesus have obviously both led me here because I have found so much comfort is reading your posts!
    You guys really know your stuff and I am looking forward to sharing and learning with you!
    Words cannot explain how happy I am and how much at home I feel, even though I am a few states away (Seatthell) currently forced to live among homosexual loving, Nirvana-listening, drug-abusing liberals and Demoncrats.
    I am sure it rains here all the time because God hates this place.
    I hope you all can accept me as your new brother in Christ.
    My name is Jon, not John.
    There is no 'H' in my name because HELL BEGINS WITH THE LETTER H!
  • Brother Harold Porter
    Landover Senior Outreach
    Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2010
    • 8236

    #2
    Re: Greetings!

    Welcome, young man. What church do you attend and what is your most cherished and precious KJV1611 Holy Bible verse? What filthy sin made you finally realize what hopelessly lost and degenerate scum you were before getting on your knees in front of Jesus for His warm and loving gift of Salvation?

    In Christ
    Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

    sigpic

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    • Brother-Jon
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Jun 2013
      • 29

      #3
      Re: Greetings!

      Hi and thanks, Brother Porter!
      Currently I am a member of Seattle First Baptist!
      I would have to say my favorite verse is John 11:35 "Jesus wept".
      It is my favorite because it's the shortest, so I can read it really quickly and get on to the good parts of the bible like 1 Cor 6:9. I like to read that one as much as I can to remind myself that I'm not like those degenerates anymore...
      I used to be, sadly.
      As a child I was raised in the Church of Christ, but quickly turned my back on the truth and tried to study Biology in college.
      I awoke one afternoon in a filthy dorm, next to a girl from chemistry class (!) that I had fornicated with the night before. I'm not sure if that made me as sick as the residual intoxication from alcohol and the devil's lettuce I had no doubt consumed copious amounts of. Tripping over dirty clothes and empty bottles, I found myself upset when I realized I had run out of cigarettes.
      I actually didn't throw up until I realized it was Sunday. For some reason, God wanted me to experience all of this before reminding me of the comfort I had given up when I left my parents home against their will and went to Satan's College (UCLA).
      I bolted to the bathroom to expel not only toxins from my body, but also the evil knowledge my professors and so called friends had imbibed me with.
      During this I felt so warm and comforted, as if it were Jesus himself forcing His Holy Fingers down my throat. I regurgitated my former life along with all that high-life and jagermeister (and probably extra-marital saliva and pubic hairs), and walked back to the nearest church a newly broken, hungover and unshaved man.
      It was closed of course, I had to wait until 7:00.
      I didn't even drop my classes because I didn't want any of that evil money back.
      My name is Jon, not John.
      There is no 'H' in my name because HELL BEGINS WITH THE LETTER H!

      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29453

        #4
        Re: Greetings!

        Welcome Jon!

        How many living sons have you presently?

        How do you service the Lord?
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • Brother-Jon
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jun 2013
          • 29

          #5
          Re: Greetings!

          Hi Brother James!
          I currently have no children...
          One of my other mistakes in life was allowing myself to be tricked into marrying a non-denominational "christian". That was the first red flag.
          The second was when we consummated our marriage and she wanted to switch positions!! I was speechless. They call it missionary for a reason...
          It was too late before i found out that as a punishment for her heresy and fornication God had made her barren. Fortunately, one night I found she had "gone for coffee" with a coworker without my permission and God granted me an exit from the marriage.
          As much as I would like the companionship of children, and help with the yard-work, I have decided to stop fighting God's plan for me.
          He will give me a woman if he sees it fit.
          Currently I help with the maintenance at the church, and teach high-school boys.
          Also, during the week, Jesus and I peruse local concerts and prove heathens wrong in their alcohol and drug fueled debates on science and music. I suppose some might call this a hobby, but I have never had trouble.
          My name is Jon, not John.
          There is no 'H' in my name because HELL BEGINS WITH THE LETTER H!

          Comment

          • Mary Thompson
            True Christian Lady™, Certified Best Friend of Jesus
            True Christian™
            • Mar 2013
            • 653

            #6
            Re: Greetings!

            Welcome Jon to our friendly forums, it is so great to meet someone who is so passionate about Jesus, and I'll be praying that you find a God-fearing wife.
            YIC
            Mary Thompson.
            Thinking of Abortion?
            That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
            Think of the children. Stop being a slut.

            Comment

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