[Beginning Of Wisdom]

Re: Glory

Pastor Ezekiel, you are right I apologize.

I'm not sure if you read but among my prior sins was delving into Canadianism and over there we just trust the government to hand the money unto our Lord. I know now that this is a violation of "give unto Ceasar and render unto God" Matthew 22:20-22 I just figured there was nothing wrong with a middle-man if that's where the money was going eventually.

I know the Lord of Hosts is able to create his own currency by holy fiat but then what would he need us for? This is why the Lord led man to invent fractional reserve usury money (by the jewsicles) so that he may distribute it to the poor as it trickles down.

Proverbs 28:8

Even Lazarus was living high and mighty off the crumbs of his job creator's table. Luke 16:19-31

I understand in this Godly nation things are done differently and will altar my ways accordingly and give directly.

Funny thing is I get things so confused all the time that I almost gave a generous tip to a waitress at WD-50 today when I remembered the Lord's words Mark 14:7

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Glory

Indeed brother I have not thought of it. Is it available to tithing levels below 35% ?

Don't try and jip Jesus. Don't even think about it.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

[Beginning Of Wisdom]

Re: Glory

Indeed brother I have not thought of it. Is it available to tithing levels below 35% ?

[the unknown prophet]

Re: Glory

Why not kill two birds with one stone?

If I resolve to only ever stimulate my unholy member when thinking of the excruciating pain awaiting those who are not True Christians ™, I believe I should be all set, no?

Have you thought about joining G.A.P.E.? It's a godly social group located right here on Landover Baptist Forums! Usually during our meetings, we screen typical examples of pornographic media, such as porn videos and the like. But recently; I've been thinking about screening more unusual out of the way pornographic content, perhaps things like midget aboriginal lesbians engaged in acts of BDSM. It's a disgusting job, I know, but some men have to do it! But don't worry, we usually have our own private bathrooms to go throw up in afterwards. There's also plenty of lotion available as well; (for washing your hands afterwards of course).

[the unknown prophet]

Re: Glory

My favorite bible verse is Revelation 14:11:

And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

Hosanna my brother in Jesus. Welcome to God's favorite, most excellent online internet forum in the entire universe. I have to say your favorite verse is also one of my favorites as well. It feels good knowing that one day, all of my enemies will be burning in hell fire forever, with no hopes of getting out. And from reading the KJV 1611 Bible, it would seem that God and I think alike! If I did have to name a bible verse as being my all-time favorite, it would have to be the verse that's in my signature, which I put there by myself, rather than any of the moderators.

[Donovan A. Mordecai]

Re: Glory

Thank you Pastor Lowman.

I am most interested in contributing to the vast body of intellectual honest Creation Science Apologetics and am hoping to fellowship with the likeminded.

1 Pet 3:15
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with.


That and the justness and hilariousness of the majority of the unsaved™ and inferior races going to hell. Praise!

I could really do without the backsass. I am attempting to help you get over your issues and poor choices of words. Please do not try to double talk you way out of this

Also I hope you aren't insinuating that someone can "date" our Lord. While it is extra-biblical sin to even conjecture on what happened to Jesus mother (who is not Mary as the cathy licks would posit) we know it could not have been good. There is only one woman for our Lord and it is the collective Body of Christ.

That was your assertion, as seen here

For instance "How can something come from nothing"? Clearly the only answer to the question of cosmological origins is our bronze age Deity. May He be praised to highest heavens! (Heck, Even the 3rd Heaven) 2 Cor 12:2.

God is timeless, otherwise why call Him God?


I really hate when the un-Saved© think they can question God on His Favorite Forum

1 Corinthians 2:15 But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

God Bless
DAM

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Glory

I almost doubt your Salvation™ but I know better than to question my betters in the Lord. Hebrews 13:17

It is that instinct to trust in the LORD above any temptation to trust in reason and logic that has preserved your soul in the Godless country of Canada (1 Corinthians 2:14). Don't be weak now, dear. Brother Mordecai is a True Christian™ man who has been made a New Creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). To question him is to question Christ Himself.

[Beginning Of Wisdom]

Re: Glory

Brother Donovan,

Thank you for your kind words of exhortation. Believe me when I say that I venerate the Bronze Age. It is at that stage of human development that we had things figured out. Sure we have a bunch of technological gadgets invented since then that run on Satan's magic but we've only become more atheistic because of "science, falsely so called" as Paul writes.

Also I hope you aren't insinuating that someone can "date" our Lord. While it is extra-biblical sin to even conjecture on what happened to Jesus mother (who is not Mary as the cathy licks would posit) we know it could not have been good. There is only one woman for our Lord and it is the collective Body of Christ.

Revelation 21:2 - And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

I almost doubt your Salvation(TM) but I know better than to question my betters in the Lord. Hebrews 13:17

[Donovan A. Mordecai]

Re: Glory

Welcome to our friendly forum!

You sound like a good God Fearer, but there are a couple things I wanted to address in your post to make it better.

I am most interested in contributing to the vast body of intellectual honest Creation Science Apologetics and am hoping to fellowship with the likeminded.

The term should read Creation Sciences. There is nothing to apologize for, science is science

For instance "How can something come from nothing"? Clearly the only answer to the question of cosmological origins is our bronze age Deity. May He be praised to highest heavens! (Heck, Even the 3rd Heaven) 2 Cor 12:2.

If you need to add an adjective onto God, don't pick one that makes Him sound dated.

Think: Eternal, amazing, personal, wrathful, timeless, etc.

The first thing atheists do is try to de-legitimize God with hate speech such as this

Saying "why would you believe in the made up deity of a bunch of illiterate goat herders from 5,000 years ago"

or

"That god probably made sense when we were running for over from thunder"

Etc.

That and the justness and hilariousness of the majority of the unsaved™ and inferior races going to hell. Praise!

I don't find the un-Saved© funny at all, I pray for them all.

Inferior races are not damned out of hand either, they can be Saved© too

Fix these things and you will be all set!


God Bless
DAM

[Beginning Of Wisdom]

Re: Glory

Thank you Pastor Lowman.

I am most interested in contributing to the vast body of intellectual honest Creation Science Apologetics and am hoping to fellowship with the likeminded.

1 Pet 3:15
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with.

For instance "How can something come from nothing"? Clearly the only answer to the question of cosmological origins is our bronze age Deity. May He be praised to highest heavens! (Heck, Even the 3rd Heaven) 2 Cor 12:2.

That and the justness and hilariousness of the majority of the unsaved(TM) and inferior races going to hell. Praise!

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Glory

I am a KJV Bible believing Christian who knows and delights in all the Lord's judgements including the creation of souls predestined for Hell that He may show his wrath and justness to the world.

My favorite bible verse is Revelation 14:11:

And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

I just moved to Freehold and am hoping to attend Landover but need to find a second job in order to meet the tithe requirements. Because of previous sin in my life (masturbation) the Lord did not see fit to bless me with the spoils of American capitalism. I pray every day that I might be kept from touching myself so that I can at least qualify for a loan.

Praise!

Hi, Wisdom

It's nice to see such an influx of Jesus admirers lately. And even more kudos for giving up the barbaric practice of self-rape. It causes many to stumble, except those who have come to Know™ Jesus.

There are plenty of resources on this board for years of reading.

I, of course, share your angst to someday get to see those who will split Hell wide open do so...

"The Lord hath made all things for himself, yeah, even the wicked for the day of evil." (Proverbs 16:4)

Regards,

Pastor Ed

[Beginning Of Wisdom]

Re: Glory

Why not kill two birds with one stone?

If I resolve to only ever stimulate my unholy member when thinking of the excruciating pain awaiting those who are not True Christians (TM), I believe I should be all set, no?

Esther 9:22
"As the days wherein the Jews rested from their enemies, and the month which was turned unto them from sorrow to joy, and from mourning into a good day: that they should make them days of feasting and joy, and of sending portions one to another, and gifts to the poor."

[Brother Larry]

Re: Glory

I am a KJV Bible believing Christian who knows and delights in all the Lord's judgements including the creation of souls predestined for Hell that He may show his wrath and justness to the world.

My favorite bible verse is Revelation 14:11:

And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

I just moved to Freehold and am hoping to attend Landover but need to find a second job in order to meet the tithe requirements. Because of previous sin in my life (masturbation) the Lord did not see fit to bless me with the spoils of American capitalism. I pray every day that I might be kept from touching myself so that I can at least qualify for a loan.

Praise!

You state that you had a "previous" sin in your life. I well recognize that I have only within the past hour truly found forgiveness of my sins, having renounced kissing rings and finding some spiritual "yeehaw" from tasteless wafers and grape juice in that past sin-filled existence. Still, I wonder when the last time you actually spilled your seed upon the ground or into a Puffs Plus? If you have not completely renounced this practice, I fear that you'll find it hard to completely surrender yourself to the LORD and that one day you will find yourself stricken with erectional dysproportionalism for His glory.

I will leave it to the True Christians here to admonish you further, for I am but a babe in Him and while I have already been blessed with the superiority that comes from being forgiven of my idolatry and other sins, I am far too new in the Baptist faith to give you advice. I will think of you every night, though, and your sin, black and vile as it is.

In Christian love and righteous disdain,
Brother Larry

[Beginning Of Wisdom]

Re: Glory

Thank you sister Mary for your helpful advice. You know you hit on the heart of the matter as Rep. Burgess clearly points out. Killing babies is murder when it is not clearly commanded by God. Psalm 137:9

I do thank you for your exhortation (1 Tim 4:13) regarding tithing. I know that the Lord will bless me materially so that I will not be poor like the unsaved. Proverbs 8:17-21.

I would therefore like to pledge 24% (12 x 2). You will find my contribution in the form of oil and gas ETF shares in a manilla envelope outside Pastor's office.

May the Lord find my sacrifice worthy unto Him. Praise!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Glory

I am a KJV Bible believing Christian who knows and delights in all the Lord's judgements including the creation of souls predestined for Hell that He may show his wrath and justness to the world.

My favorite bible verse is Revelation 14:11:

And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

I just moved to Freehold and am hoping to attend Landover but need to find a second job in order to meet the tithe requirements. Because of previous sin in my life (masturbation) the Lord did not see fit to bless me with the spoils of American capitalism. I pray every day that I might be kept from touching myself so that I can at least qualify for a loan.

Praise!

Hello and welcome to our friendly forums! You've come to just the right place to find the answers to the questions you seek. While there are those who will argue Life Begins At Masturbation, we have pertinent sermons to overcome such sin: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

As far as tithing, I would encourage you to bring your bank deposit slip to Cookie in the Church Office to set up a Tithing Plan that exceeds the standard 10% habit and catapults you straight up to Prosperity Plan, in which the LORD promises to increase your income so much you'll literally be bursting at the seams (Malachi 3:10).