A friendly greeting from Abel E. Harmon

[Abel E. Harmon]

Greetings, True Christians of the Landover Baptist Forums. I am Abel E. Harmon, vice president of Pay'N Take-It international. I make 300,000$ a year. I live in Tukkwila, W.A. ( Don't confuse it with Tukwila, W.A., we have 2 K's).
I have 4 children and am married. I drive a 1996 ZAZ Slavuta I bought at a rare car show. My favorite bible verse is 1 John 4:1 as it warns of the many false prophets. I was born as a 3rd generation baptist. My motivation for coming here is I fear that my youthful flare for learning about the Bible and Christianity has... lessened. I hope that I can be motivated to return to that state of happiness with the aid of the Truest Christians I have heard of, Landover Baptist's True Christians. Note: I acknowledge that I am no longer a True Christian, and feel that the first step in being restored to that former glory is admitting that I am no longer a True Christian.

November 2013,
Abel E. Harmon

[Alvin Moss]

Re: A friendly greeting from Abel E. Harmon

Welcome Brother Abel E. Harmon. We are friendly here, but I really should warn you right off the bat that you are Hell bound and you don't seem to sense the danger you are in. You are admitting that you have rejected Jesus and His sacrifice for you. God will be angry.

I urge you to seek reconcilliation with Jesus and thus to get right with God. It's that or Hell. Don't go there; it's too hot.

[Brother Larry]

Re: A friendly greeting from Abel E. Harmon

Greetings, True Christians of the Landover Baptist Forums. I am Abel E. Harmon, vice president of Pay'N Take-It international. I make 300,000$ a year. I live in Tukkwila, W.A. ( Don't confuse it with Tukwila, W.A., we have 2 K's).
I have 4 children and am married. I drive a 1996 ZAZ Slavuta I bought at a rare car show. My favorite bible verse is 1 John 4:1 as it warns of the many false prophets. I was born as a 3rd generation baptist. My motivation for coming here is I fear that my youthful flare for learning about the Bible and Christianity has... lessened. I hope that I can be motivated to return to that state of happiness with the aid of the Truest Christians I have heard of, Landover Baptist's True Christians. Note: I acknowledge that I am no longer a True Christian, and feel that the first step in being restored to that former glory is admitting that I am no longer a True Christian.

November 2013,
Abel E. Harmon

Even a hell-bound sinner piece of trash can use proper punctuation. Assuming you are from Washington state, the correct abbreviation is WA. You had an extra period - kind of like a really haughty woman.

Tithing is a very important part of finding your place in heaven.

Deuteronomy 12:6 And thither yee shall bring your burnt offrings, and your sacrifices, and your tithes, and heaue offrings of your hand, and your vowes, and your free wil offerings, and the firstlings of your heards, and of your flocks.
That Slavuto would be a good offering for Pastor Ezekiel; I believe he would agree. In order to ensure your complete salvation, you might want to go above and beyond the expected 10 percent tithe.

How many of your children are male? Is your wife of good report and pleasing to the eye? Does she make good pie?

Brother Larry

[James Hutchins]

Re: A friendly greeting from Abel E. Harmon

Welcome Abe. Why not drive a Chevy from Michigan instead of a commie car? That ZAZ must be full of Christian hate.

When were you ever a True Christian(tm). I checked the Church records, there is no mention if you. In fact, there are no records anywhere of you nine years ago then you suddenly appeared. Did you arrive in a shipping container with your car via the St. Lawrence seaway?

[Brother Larry]

Re: A friendly greeting from Abel E. Harmon

Welcome Abe. Why not drive a Chevy from Michigan instead of a commie car? That ZAZ must be full of Christian hate.

When were you ever a True Christian™. I checked the Church records, there is no mention if you. In fact, there are no records anywhere of you nine years ago then you suddenly appeared. Did you arrive in a shipping container with your car via the St. Lawrence seaway?

Brother James,

You still haven't gotten over the time when that nigra with the Volvo scraped against your buddy's Freightliner and didn't even apologize, have you?

I think that our new brother - sinful though he is - may be driving a vehicle that is manufactured elsewhere because of his income level and he believed in his ungodly mental state that he needed to keep up appearances. Maybe when you have an OTR to Washington you could take him to a local Ford dealer (or Chevy) and teach him the ways of American motor vehicles.

Your friend,
Brother Larry

[Jedediah]

Re: A friendly greeting from Abel E. Harmon

G acknowledge that I am no longer a True Christian, and feel that the first step in being restored to that former glory is admitting that I am no longer a True Christian.

Once you are washed in His Blood, you are rendered incapable of sin and can never return to your sinful past.

I John 3:6-9
Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous.
He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

The fact that you wallow in sin today (and I'm sure tithe insufficiently) tells us that you were never a to begin with. My family and I will pray that Christ enter you with His penetrating Love and fill your heart with a yearning for proper attendance to reading (both Holy Scripture and God's Favorite Forum), exhortation, and doctrine (I Timothy 4:13). Once you are familiar with God's Commandments and have a better idea of what it means to be counted among His Elect, maybe then you will be ready to bathe in His Blood, scrubbing all that filthy sin out from every crease and orifice in your dirty, sinful body. And we will be there to help you in this endeavor.

~In Christ

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: A friendly greeting from Abel E. Harmon

Welcome, friend. I am disappointed to hear that you have felt the need to retroactively aggravate the wounds of Christ by sinning. Hopefully now that your wretched, blindly groping hands have grasped upon His robe, He can guide you through the darkness of your disobedience toward forgiveness and salvation.

If you ever need to be rebuked or judged, I am here to help.