[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Hello

Thomas, I undertake to convert her so that she no longer flashes her flaps at men. I have successfully achieved this on several occasions.
As Dr Snyde pointed out, it's all in the tongue.

Irene, I hope I can call you by your first name, this is wonderful news. I hope you are able to convert them successfully. As the Lord says:

Job 6:30

Is there iniquitie in my tongue? cannot my taste discerne peruerse things?

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

Thomas, I undertake to convert her so that she no longer flashes her flaps at men. I have successfully achieved this on several occasions.
As Dr Snyde pointed out, it's all in the tongue.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Hello

My name is Stevie. According to Emma, the sins that I commit are lustfully looking at men and listening to inappropriate music.

G'day Stevo me little cobber. "Flashin' yer flaps" is no way to behave on a family forum. I would suggest that you pick up a Bible (KJV 1611, of course) and start reading.

The road to hell is a slippery trail marred by the snail trails of women like you. Be careful satan is waiting for you.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Hello

And what a wonderful verse to live by.

I opened my Bible randomly and pointed also randomly at a verse, and there it was, God speaking to us.

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

And what a wonderful verse to live by. I will make sure they heed it well.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Hello

Hmmm. I think I might need to take these 2 young ladies in hand, myself. They live within an hour of me, and I can see they need the firm hand of an older woman to teach them the ways of Jesus.

That is quite gracious of you! Here is a verse to guide you:

Proverbs 18:21 (1611 King James Bible)

Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that loue it shall eate the fruite thereof.

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

Doesn't it warm your heart, Brother Mark, to imagine these two young women locked in a warm embrace and shouting praises to God?

Hmmm. I think I might need to take these 2 young ladies in hand, myself. They live within an hour of me, and I can see they need the firm hand of an older woman to teach them the ways of Jesus.
Maybe I could enlist MitzaLizalor to help, as she also lives close by.

[ilovelordjc]

Re: Hello

Thank you all for helping me on this journey. I will begin to burn all of these sinful things right now. Thank you and God Bless.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Hello

Doesn't it warm your heart, Brother Mark, to imagine these two young women locked in a warm embrace and shouting praises to God?

Indeed it does, dear Sister!

It puts me in mind of this verse:

Ecclesiastes 9:10 (1611 King James Bible)

Whatsoeuer thy hand findeth to doe, doe it with thy might: for there is no worke, nor deuice, nor knowledge, nor wisedome in the graue, whither thou goest.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Hello

It brings a tear of joy to my eye to see one young lady trying get another to come to Jesus!

Doesn't it warm your heart, Brother Mark, to imagine these two young women locked in a warm embrace and shouting praises to God?

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Hello

Stevie, how lovely to see you on here!

The members of this forum really are delightful - if your ungodly habits are not too repulsive, I am positive that they will help you realise the consequences of your sins and help you devote your life to God.

At present, you have a one-way ticket to eternal damnation. Doesn't spending eternity in the heavens sound a lot better instead?

As I have told you before; in order to become a woman of God, you must no longer listen to those horrid satan-worshipping bands. Incinerate CD's, posters, artwork and anything else you may have. It would also be wise to discard your iPod. Secondly, you are a WOMAN for gosh sake. You must be submissive to your father, mother and to a MALE partner approved by your father (yes that's right, choosing to be a bi-sexual means an eternity in hell). Abandon your harlot ways straight away. Once you do this, we may actually have something to work with.

I hope you can one day join us. You are in my prayers, Stevie.

It brings a tear of joy to my eye to see one young lady trying get another to come to Jesus!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello

Incinerate CD's, posters, artwork and anything else you may have.

This is great advice, Steve! Just be careful about burning things when there are liberals around; they may attempt to brand you as a gross polluter and charge you a carbon tax. Trust me, you don't want to become the victim of an Al Gore-style shakedown!

[crescendo]

Re: Hello

Hello Landover Baptist Church forum! My name is Stevie and I live in Australia. I have been advised to join this website by a girl called Emma who claims that i'm currently a sinner and if i don't change my ways I will go straight to hell. I hope you can give me some insight as to whether I am going to hell or not and if it's possible to change if I am.

My favourite bible verse is Romans 8:28, what's yours?

Stevie, how lovely to see you on here!

The members of this forum really are delightful - if your ungodly habits are not too repulsive, I am positive that they will help you realise the consequences of your sins and help you devote your life to God.

At present, you have a one-way ticket to eternal damnation. Doesn't spending eternity in the heavens sound a lot better instead?

As I have told you before; in order to become a woman of God, you must no longer listen to those horrid satan-worshipping bands. Incinerate CD's, posters, artwork and anything else you may have. It would also be wise to discard your iPod. Secondly, you are a WOMAN for gosh sake. You must be submissive to your father, mother and to a MALE partner approved by your father (yes that's right, choosing to be a bi-sexual means an eternity in hell). Abandon your harlot ways straight away. Once you do this, we may actually have something to work with.

I hope you can one day join us. You are in my prayers, Stevie.

[ilovelordjc]

Re: Hello

Who? Is that a Scottish death metal band?

Are you not aware of Stevie Nicks?
Here is a song she wrote for Fleetwood Mac

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py3w5fttedA

[Wide-Open]

Re: Hello

No No, Stevie Nicks from Fleetwood Mac!

Who? Is that a Scottish death metal band?