Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

[Chester Longshire]

Re: Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

Greetings, Mr. Longshire!

The True Christian™ men looking to rid themselves of their bothersome daughters will have more trust in you if you post a proper introduction. We get many degenerates coming here to mock God, that we look for a good introduction to see where a person stands before the Almighty.

Perhaps you will soon be blessed with a beautiful young white bride, strong enough to go the distance, rather than some squinty-eyed shrieking banshee who broke so easily.

It sounds like you walk closely with The Lord. I will pray fervently for your success.

Thank you Dr. Snyde. It is good to know that there are good Christian scientists out there. So many scientists, it seems to me, use "science" as an excuse to practice buggery and worship the false, obese demon "booda."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism_and_science

[FreeFromBrains]

Re: Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

in my cabin, .

I've never heard it called that before.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

Welcome Chester, didn't you work for that joo, Jack Benny?

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

Welcome, Mr. Longshire: I am pleased that you've joined us. You're just in time to sample my Christmas pie! Once I read your post, I went in my prayer closet to ask Jesus to send you a helpmeet. God does not want you to be alone (Genesis 2:18) so I feel confident that a young, fertile, and comely woman will find her way into your life, provided that you love the Lord and place your faith in Him. 1 Corinthians 6:13 Unfortunately, I shall never find a man, but if you are in need of a housekeeper or cook, you may speak to my father. Both my parents are likely ashamed to have an old maid for a daughter. Although they have never expressed this, in my heart I know I am a burden to them. Forgive me for taking so much of your time, Sir. God bless you richly! NRL

[Chester Longshire]

Re: Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

I attend the Mt. Zion Holy Baptist church, and my favorite bible verse is deuteronomy 22:20-21.

I was first touched by Our Lord when I was a boy in my cabin, having been brought to the Lord with the fervant, edifying support of my uncle Rob, who is now with the Lord.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

That's nice. Tell us what church you go to why that is your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Merry CHRISTmas! (looking for new wife)

Greetings, Mr. Longshire!

The True Christian™ men looking to rid themselves of their bothersome daughters will have more trust in you if you post a proper introduction. We get many degenerates coming here to mock God, that we look for a good introduction to see where a person stands before the Almighty.

Perhaps you will soon be blessed with a beautiful young white bride, strong enough to go the distance, rather than some squinty-eyed shrieking banshee who broke so easily.

It sounds like you walk closely with The Lord. I will pray fervently for your success.

[Chester Longshire]

Greetings my fellow Christians,
I cannot begin to expound on the holy joy that is swelling up in my old bosom, upon finding a Godly website on this hell-driven growth of pipes known as the internet.

My name is Mr. Longshire, I am from the North. I live in a cabin by myself with only the Holy Ghost and my KJV bible.

I am thrice a widow, and am looking for an obedient, chaste wife who walks in all the ways of the Lord. My last wife I married last week. She was from Thailand, and I must say I am not into women of this country anymore for they seem to be less than fully virtuous despite what they tell you on their advertisements. She has now given up the Ghost and has passed on to the Lord.

Finding myself a batchelor yet again, I am once more looking for a Mrs. Longshire to give me warmth and a good hearth during the cold winters in this Godly Northern Wood.

My favorite bible verse iseuteronomy 22:20-21

If Landover has any virgins of good Christian upbringing, please keep me in mind.