X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10276

    #1

    Greetings True Christians

    I am honored to have the opportunity of introducing myself to this Church of worthy and God-fearing true Christians. I am hoping to be one day given a full Church membership, but at the same time I realize that the road to Salvation can a be hard one. In addition, I understand that True Christian Membership of this Church is not earned lightly.

    My road to Jesus has been a long one. I am a former scholar of natural sciences. I slowly became convinced of my former errors by discovering the scientific and logical impossibility of evil looters and commie cosmologists. I discovered the True word of God, the KJB, and was immersed in Bible study for some years. I even attempted to study Divinity at a University but the academic disciplines of sexegetics were finally revealed as the grandest form of apostasy. At the university they actually used reference books THAT WERE NOT THE KJB as tools of their "research". Also, the place was filled with evil cat licks and loutherans.

    Thus, I started to look for a congregation that hold true to the Word of God. I am convinced that Landover Baptist Church is probably the single and only one that still clings to the Truth. I humbly hope to be accepted as a member.

    I reside in the God-forgotten continent of Europe. While there is very little hope for the peoples of our lands, I hope to be able to preach Salvation via the Landover Doctrine of pure Biblical Word. In my personal life I am starting to apply the Biblical teachings. My 4 sons and 2 daughters are now being raised with the rod. I commanded my wife to stop working as a flight attendant (i.e., a harlot) and now she commits her time to pregnancies, cleaning the house and cooking.

    I love all of KJB but some verses are especially dear to me.

    OT:

    Psalms 2:9 Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.

    Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

    Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

    NT:

    Luke 21:23 But woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck, in those days! for there shall be great distress in the land, and wrath upon thispeople. (I am fairly sure this refers also to homeysexuals)

    Romans 14:21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine.


    I apologize for the lengthy introduction. I am looking forward to fruitful tuition on my journey to the Lord. I also humbly wish to contribute to the accumulating knowledge on the Truth by presenting some results of by Bible studies (conducted by the only method leading to truth with the KJB as the only source). I am currently working on a paper that definitely proves that American was and is the actual original tongue of the Good Book.


    Blessings to all my brothers and sisters in Christ,


    Elmer G.White




    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10050

    #2
    Re: Greetings True Christians

    Hello Elmer, your name makes me think of my favorite glue.

    What's your favorite hunting rifle, and how many sons do you have?
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

    Comment

    • Elmer G. White
      Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
      Victim of atheist scientific persecution
       
      • Apr 2014
      • 10276

      #3
      Re: Greetings True Christians

      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
      Hello Elmer, your name makes me think of my favorite glue.

      What's your favorite hunting rifle, and how many sons do you have?
      Dear Faith Machine,

      Winchester 1894. Nice, effective, lethal wounds on God's lesser creatures.
      The number of sons - please ref. my original post.

      Yours,

      Elmer
      2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



      PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
      Check out our Research in Creation Science:

      Comment

      • Mary Etheldreda
        Gushing for Jesus
         
        • Sep 2011
        • 23775

        #4
        Re: Greetings True Christians

        Hello Mr. White, and welcome to our friendly forums! I always love to hear people come to the LORD through study and academic evaluation. Atheists like to say science and religion cannot co-exist, and fluffy-bunny Christians like to say they can. You and I know of course they cannot, as science is a tool of the devil. Science is to Satan what the spiked heels are to the hooker - a lure to catch an empty-headed, groin-led "john." So tell us, what do you do to further the Word of the LORD in these "Days of Noah"?

        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Elmer G. White
          Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
          Victim of atheist scientific persecution
           
          • Apr 2014
          • 10276

          #5
          Re: Greetings True Christians

          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
          Hello Mr. White, and welcome to our friendly forums! I always love to hear people come to the LORD through study and academic evaluation. Atheists like to say science and religion cannot co-exist, and fluffy-bunny Christians like to say they can. You and I know of course they cannot, as science is a tool of the devil. Science is to Satan what the spiked heels are to the hooker - a lure to catch an empty-headed, groin-led "john." So tell us, what do you do to further the Word of the LORD in these "Days of Noah"?
          God Bless You, Mrs. Etheldreda! Your kind words ooze with the promise of SALVATION.
          What I do for our Lord and Savior? Too little, I'm afraid and my attemps are meagre...

          However, I try to immerse myself in constant (Acts 6:4) prayer (when I am not in the process of giving my love to my immediate family with the sturdy rod). I believe this to be the correct work of God and hope He is receiving (Psalms 54:2). If I persist, I am sure He WILL BE (Nehemiah 1:11, Nehemiah 4:9). Sometimes I combine this with light mortification of my flesh (Mark 9:29 and Matthew 17:21). One day, I hope to be worthy of this (Proverbs 15:29). If I persist, I am sure the godless will be destroyed and thier evil lootory ways will vanish (Matthew 21:22).

          Glory to Jesus!

          Yours humbly,

          Elmer
          Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 04-22-2014, 06:04 PM. Reason: fixed a quoting mishap
          2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



          PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
          Check out our Research in Creation Science:

          Comment

          • Mary Etheldreda
            Gushing for Jesus
             
            • Sep 2011
            • 23775

            #6
            Re: Greetings True Christians

            Originally posted by Elmer G. White View Post
            God Bless You, Mrs. Etheldreda! Your kind words ooze with the promise of SALVATION.
            What I do for our Lord and Savior? Too little, I'm afraid and my attemps are meagre...

            However, I try to immerse myself in constant (Acts 6:4) prayer (when I am not in the process of giving my love to my immediate family with the sturdy rod). I believe this to be the correct work of God and hope He is receiving (Psalms 54:2). If I persist, I am sure He WILL BE (Nehemiah 1:11, Nehemiah 4:9). Sometimes I combine this with light mortification of my flesh (Mark 9:29 and Matthew 17:21). One day, I hope to be worthy of this (Proverbs 15:29). If I persist, I am sure the godless will be destroyed and thier evil lootory ways will vanish (Matthew 21:22).

            Glory to Jesus!

            Yours humbly,

            Elmer
            You sound dedicated to the Works of the LORD! It does give me hope! I hope you enjoy our forums. Any friend of is a friend of mine.

            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • Zechariah Smyth
              Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
              True Christian™
              • Feb 2011
              • 15251

              #7
              Re: Greetings True Christians

              Well knock me down with a feather: a proper introduction.



              A cautious welcome to you, Mr. White.

              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              sigpic

              Comment

              • James Hutchins
                True Christian™
                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                 
                • Jun 2009
                • 29453

                #8
                Re: Greetings True Christians

                Welcome friend. How many times has Jesus punished your with a daughter?
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • Elmer G. White
                  Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
                  Victim of atheist scientific persecution
                   
                  • Apr 2014
                  • 10276

                  #9
                  Re: Greetings True Christians

                  Blessings to you Christian friends that took the task of replying my post.
                  I have 2 daughters... They are 9 and 7 and already they are lusty (Proverbs 6:25) little witches (Micah 5:12) ready to seduce older innocent God-fearing men! They are always looking for fornication but I do not complain as I know this is a test placed on my shoulders by OUR LORD.

                  The birth of the first one was especially depressing. My wife had not participated in prenatal care (of course not, they would have forced abortion on her) so we didn't know she was expecting twins (had I known I would have been more understanding for her problems performing marital duties during the last days of her pregnancy, Genesis 25:24). First there was her older brother and my heart rejoiced in LORD... but the midwife announced that another was on the way and it was the female twin.

                  I am sorry my reply was delayed. I was preoccupied with prayer and prostate trouble (1 Corinthians 7:5). I have also not explained where I go to church. Alas, it is difficult with all the Cat Licks, Calvinandhobbyists and "loot her an*s" around. I have late attended some local evangelicals. While their denial of evil looters is OK, they do not cling to the word of the LORD regarding foods, etc (Leviticus 11:6). Hope to be able to travel one day to your Church and witness real worship.

                  I thank God for guiding me to this site! Glory to Jesus.
                  2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                  PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                  Check out our Research in Creation Science:

                  Comment

                  • Mother Of Seven
                    True Christian™ with a quiverful
                    • Jan 2014
                    • 2243

                    #10
                    Re: Greetings True Christians

                    How refreshing to find an adult Christian in the Introduction section. All we seem to get here is children claiming that they're atheists or Satanists or false Christians. And carrying on about their rock bands or video games So, !

                    Comment

                    • Elmer G. White
                      Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
                      Victim of atheist scientific persecution
                       
                      • Apr 2014
                      • 10276

                      #11
                      Re: Greetings True Christians

                      Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
                      How refreshing to find an adult Christian in the Introduction section. All we seem to get here is children claiming that they're atheists or Satanists or false Christians. And carrying on about their rock bands or video games So, !

                      Dear Mother of Seven,

                      Your kind words give me enormous strength and a vision of the immaculate future my family may still have with our LORD. I am going to interrupt my wife's cooking (a stew of cloven-hoofed ruminants) and show her your post as an example of the words of a true Christian woman.

                      God bless you!

                      Yours,

                      Elmer
                      2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                      PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                      Check out our Research in Creation Science:

                      Comment

                      Working...