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Hello, my name is Malachi and I am a Christian. I, however, have come to this church to solidify myself as a Christian seeing as I haven't took in account the sincerity of this matter. I hope you all bless me and accept me as one of your members. And no, I am not a fag.
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Re: Hello.
Hello Malachi. How old are you? What church do you go to? What is your favorite Bible verse? How did you come to find Jesus?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Hello.
Hello ma'am. I am seventeen years young. I attend my local church which is called Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, KY. My favorite bible verse is the very obvious John 3:16. I have come to find Jesus simply. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7).Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View PostHello Malachi. How old are you? What church do you go to? What is your favorite Bible verse? How did you come to find Jesus?
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Re: Hello.
I cannot find an edit button, therefore I shall double-post. Sorry. I meant I am Twenty SEVEN!!! years young.Originally posted by Malachi10 View PostComment
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Re: Hello.
Seventeen! Why, you're just starting on your path of manhood! Do you have a photo of yourself you'd like to share as your avatar? It's nice to see the faces of people we talk to, don't you think?Originally posted by Malachi10 View Post
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Hello.
I am very sorry for my miscalculations Pastor Peters. I shall edit (if possible) my age to my correct age. I did not mean to bring any attention on myself.Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View PostThat's a strange mistake to make, dear friend, especially since elsewhere, you give your age as 21. Would you care to explain?
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Re: Hello.
I've never forgotten my age. I don't think anyone over the age of three has. Stop this foolishness and tell us the truth now. Why are you here? Are you here to mock and ridicule us? Have you been sent by your father to persecute us (John 8:44)?Originally posted by Malachi10 View PostHello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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No, ma'am. This is my fault and I am sorry for my foolishness. I pray thee for forgiveness. And I am a firm believer in overpowering...dare I mention his name. (James 4:7)Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View PostComment
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Re: Hello.
Malachi, I'm a little leery about you, since you've given so many different ages. I think you might live in a corn field. Do you?Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***Comment
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Re: Hello.
So, you have given us 3 different versions of your age, plus you have said:
My guess is that you are under the age of 16 and of the homersexual persuasion.Originally posted by Malachi10 View Post
Tell the truth dear. Proverbs 19:9 explains why.
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Re: Hello.
No, I do not live in a cornfield.Originally posted by BaptistBethany View Post
Proverbs 19:9 also says I shall perish if I speaketh lies. I haven't quite been perished yet, dear ma'am.Originally posted by Attila's Wife View PostSo, you have given us 3 different versions of your age, plus you have said:
My guess is that you are under the age of 16 and of the homersexual persuasion.
Tell the truth dear. Proverbs 19:9 explains why.
YiC
AW
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Re: Hello.
Not yet, dear friend, but I hope you like it hot (Rev. 21:8).Originally posted by Malachi10 View PostThis church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Hello.
Malachi lives in the corn field.Last edited by BaptistBethany; 05-21-2014, 08:24 PM.Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***Comment
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Re: Hello.
Forgive me, dear Father, for I have sinned. (Matthew 6:15)Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View PostComment
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