Isaac Briscoe

[Isaac Briscoe]

My family has been carrying out the Lord's will since before the wheel was invented by some hell-bound pagan voodoo witch. My great-great-great-great grandfather wove the Ye Holy Lynching Rope from King James' body hair, and was his personal religious council. My family is born into service to the Lord, and we die in it too, so we may ascend to Heaven to further revel in His glory.

Most so called "Christians" don't even know the meaning of "devotion" when it comes to God. So far, these Landover wannabe-servants are practically Buddhists as far as I can tell. You really want to worship? Let's see you blister and bleed for it! Jesus dies for your sins, surely you can endure a little pain to spread his glory in return!

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

My family has been carrying out the Lord's will since before the wheel was invented by some hell-bound pagan voodoo witch. My great-great-great-great grandfather wove the Ye Holy Lynching Rope from King James' body hair, and was his personal religious council. My family is born into service to the Lord, and we die in it too, so we may ascend to Heaven to further revel in His glory.

Most so called "Christians" don't even know the meaning of "devotion" when it comes to God. So far, these Landover wannabe-servants are practically Buddhists as far as I can tell. You really want to worship? Let's see you blister and bleed for it! Jesus dies for your sins, surely you can endure a little pain to spread his glory in return!

Mr. Briscoe,

I am very delighted to inform you that you are incorrect and that these people know devotion very well! They follow every command in the Bible. I'm sure if you ask a True Christian (which I am not yet - working for it) they can confirm that fact for you! They suffer Biblical punishments, take no watered down version, and like the Bible KJV 1611 straight-up, no ifs, buts, and "this is how the pope said so!" I pray you come to seeing and imitating the wonderful actions of these True Christians.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

My family has been carrying out the Lord's will since before the wheel was invented by some hell-bound pagan voodoo witch. My great-great-great-great grandfather wove the Ye Holy Lynching Rope from King James' body hair, and was his personal religious council. My family is born into service to the Lord, and we die in it too, so we may ascend to Heaven to further revel in His glory.

Most so called "Christians" don't even know the meaning of "devotion" when it comes to God. So far, these Landover wannabe-servants are practically Buddhists as far as I can tell. You really want to worship? Let's see you blister and bleed for it! Jesus dies for your sins, surely you can endure a little pain to spread his glory in return!

Dear Friend;

I'd appreciate it if you would post your introduction in American this time, with a little less cleverness and a lot less blasphemy. What church do you attend? Please tell us about your Pastor and your favorite Bible verses. I'd love to see a link to some of his sermons.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Didymus Much]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

My family has been carrying out the Lord's will since before the wheel was invented...

Do you observe the Lord's will as closely as you've followed instructions here?

Here is where you introduce yourself...
...Tell us what church you go to...
...what your favorite Bible verse is...
...how you came to find Jesus...

0 out of 4. Not even a "Hello". Just /rantmode ON and blah blah blah look out for the Internet Tough Christian.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

Pretty much the only thing I've learned about this guy is he comes from a long line of body hair fetishists.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

I look your picture and I think I've seen you somewhere...

Oh yes!!! Finnish Witch Pagan Buddhist Ior Bock!!!

Are you brothers?

[Isaac Briscoe]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

You wanted an introduction, you got one. If you don't like it, that's between you and God. I'm not here to impress you, because honestly, I don't need to. God knows the truth of my heritage, and if you're too arrogant to believe that my family is so righteous, then I am sorry to saw you're well on your way to Satan's pleasure-chambers.

My church? I worship in the church I annexed to my home. All are welcome to join me sometime. Just know that God protects my land with a .50!

Favorite verse? That's preposterous! You can't pick and choose scripture! You take the whole Bible or take a one-way ticket to damnation! You Landovers are softies! You need to crank up your Jesus-lovin' another notch! How many evolution-teaching public schools have you picketed today? I'm willing to guess none! Bah! And you call yourselves "Christians"!

Now excuse me. I have a gay wedding to abruptly interrupt and put and end to!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

I'm not here to impress you, because honestly, I don't need to. God knows the truth of my heritage

So says just about every Bible-ignoring liberal false Christian who comes here. If we're so wrong, feel free to prove it, using direct quotations from the King James Bible.

How many evolution-teaching public schools have you picketed today?

Rumor has it that it's the middle of July and that public schools let out for the summer a while ago.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Isaac Briscoe

You wanted an introduction, you got one. If you don't like it, that's between you and God...

Now who's raising themselves to level with the Almighty?

...I'm not here to impress you, because honestly, I don't need to...

Impress me? That's not happening. As for our HOSTS? As they PAY for your privileges of posting (and even reading) here, some manners would be in order (or you may well find those privileges curtailed).

...God knows the truth of my heritage...

A true believer knows that God knows EVERYTHING, so thanks for that non-news.

...and if you're too arrogant to believe that my family is so righteous...

That sounds like pride creeping in. Shall we discuss how the Bible deals with the proud?

...My church? I worship in the church I annexed to my home. All are welcome to join me sometime...

They have a church. Why are you so anxious to see them leave it? Shall we discuss how the Bible treats those who would bring division and strife?

...Favorite verse? That's preposterous! You can't pick and choose scripture! You take the whole Bible or take a one-way ticket to damnation!...

Can't Google a thing, can you?

...You Landovers are softies! You need to crank up your Jesus-lovin' another notch!...

First part of loving Jesus is knowing what He actually said, so you can do that. The Landoveroids prove they know the Bible every day. You? You can't even find something with Google.

...How many evolution-teaching public schools have you picketed today? I'm willing to guess none!...

You answer your own question, and you're surprised when you get the answer you want? Do your teachers refer to you as "special"?

...Now excuse me. I have a gay wedding to abruptly interrupt and put and end to!

Go ahead, break the law. Never mind that the Bible tells you to OBEY IT (even if you disagree with it).

Oh, and read the Bible. Around here, it really helps.