[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Originally posted by Al Quran

Al Quran
Unsaved trash, islamofascist thug
Under Investigation!

You see the problem is that that's like me saying "o yeah I use to be an trollop but now I got Jesus" and then introducing myself Miss Beelzebubina Sloth.

Here is a handy list of synonyms
Allah ............... SATAN
Libido .............. SATAN
Ganesh .............. SATAN
Quran ............... SATAN
Mammon .............. SATAN
The Papacy .......... SATAN
Hadith .............. SATAN
Isa ................. SATAN
Moroni .............. SATAN
Kitman .............. SATAN
Zen ................. SATAN
Beelzebul ........... SATAN
Al Taqiyya .......... SATAN
Sloth ............... SATAN
Lust ................ SATAN
the prefix Al- ...... SATAN
Mecca ............... SATAN
interspecies erotica .SATAN
moon worship ........ SATAN
temple prostitute ... SATAN
Lucifer ............. SATAN
Babylon ............. SATAN
666 ................. SATAN
That Old Serpent .... SATAN
The Devil ........... SATAN

..so you see me calling myself Miss Beelzebubina Sloth would be like calling myself Miss SATAN SATAN.

In just the same way, your calling yourself Al Quran is like calling yourself SATAN SATAN.

I hope that is helpful.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Oh, PRAISE and GLORY!

HE must have touched you in just the right place!

Thank you for not blowing up on us.

[DianaMay]

~

I beg you to abandon your wayward ways and seek the love of Jesus! As everyone else has already told you, you need to get yourself a proper bible and do some reading before you can even come close to calling yourself Christian!

Joshua 1:8 - This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

God is good, all the time!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

It's nice to make your acquaintance, but since I gather most of Bradistan is under Sharia law nowadays I suspect you won't be around too long because the city council will probably have you beheaded for apostasy pretty soon. I wish you the best of luck trying to convince Jesus to save your soul before that happens.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Can you not think that you would be a Christian and practise also Islam, cohabitation, synthesis, accepting both views of the world, both possibly beautiful and coherent?

No. You cannot be a True Christian(TM) and practise Islam at the same time. If, as you claim, you have studied Christianity then you know this perfectly well.

There are so many religions and most of them have amazing beauty and amazing darkness. They cannot all be wrong so they must all be true at the same time in their own symbolic way. Yes?

No. This is like saying that people cannot all be above average height, therefore they must all be below average height.

Why do you write such utter nonsense? Are you really about to become a primary school teacher? I sincerely hope that you will be kept well away from any mathematics teaching. People like you are the reason that more and more parents are home-schooling their children.

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Now, this is not a dating forum for injuns and mooslims.
I suppose you have enough possibilities to date in northern India, where mooslims and injuns live in PEACE

[Harsha Shah]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Yes, Mr. Quran. How do you do? I am fine.

So nice to see other people of diverse faiths here. I am new in this Forum, too. I am practising Jainism but I am not too serious about it... No I am not. May I ask you something? Please be not offended, yes? You are learning how to be a Christian, yes? A noble endeavor in my humble opinion. Can you not think that you would be a Christian and practise also Islam, cohabitation, synthesis, accepting both views of the world, both possibly beautiful and coherent? Yes. Would it not be wonderful to accept many ways of seeing the truth and realising that they can be co-existing? Yes? There are so many religions and most of them have amazing beauty and amazing darkness. They cannot all be wrong so they must all be true at the same time in their own symbolic way. Yes?

[Al Quran]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Thanks for your sisterly concern - but our Dad's family owns large estates in the Swat valley, three cab firms in Bradford, and an import-export business dealing in, um, poppies or something. Third World is not what's up my street.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Poor Luther, being around 100 years before the King James Bible meant that the two verses that confused him must have been heretical or the fruit of some apostate! Maybe that excuses him.

Not quite, dear. You see, the Holy Ghost has guided True Christians™ since Pentecost (Acts 2:1-13). Why, you can join the discussion about so-called Bible "Contradictions" and their explanations HERE. You might learn a few things about Bible Paradoxes HERE. But rest assured dear, there are no actual contradictions in the Bible. It only looks that way to false believers - you know the kind, the ones who think they believe but in reality put more stock in their own logic than the Word of God. Martin Luther was one of those, which is why his theology is so messed up.

I'm cool with the whole baptismal thing, and am reassured by that, but am a bit worried about taking Jesus inside me if that's what literally happens, like Marko says.

Oh you poor, traumatized thing! You don't need to be afraid of Jesus literally entering you! It doesn't hurt! It fees WONDERFUL! GLORIOUS! It will Change Your Life, I promise!!!

Just off to find that cave now ... I take it that any fossils which I find there will either have been planted by Satan to confuse me, or will in fact just be debris from Noah's Flood.

No doubt. But now that you have rejected your desert ways, why not retire to a comfortable room, complete with a chair, and perhaps a table with which you place your Holy Bible when you get up to stretch your legs? You'll see civilized life, the life that comes by following God's Perfect Moral Ways, is far superior to the third world life of poverty you're used to.

[Al Quran]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Poor Luther, being around 100 years before the King James Bible meant that the two verses that confused him must have been heretical or the fruit of some apostate! Maybe that excuses him. I'm cool with the whole baptismal thing, and am reassured by that, but am a bit worried about taking Jesus inside me if that's what literally happens, like Marko says.


Just off to find that cave now ... I take it that any fossils which I find there will either have been planted by Satan to confuse me, or will in fact just be debris from Noah's Flood.

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

I thought us True Believers were all to love Martyr Luther, because he was the first true modern Bible Christian.

Welcome, repenting moon worshipper. One of our pastors has an interesting sermon on this topic.

"We believe that the Baptists are the original Christians. We did not commence our existence at the reformation, we were reformers before Luther or Calvin were born; we never came from the Church of Rome, for we were never in it, but we have an unbroken line up to the apostles themselves. We have always existed from the very days of Christ, and our principles, sometimes veiled and forgotten . . . have always had honest and holy adherents. Persecuted alike by Romanists and Protestants of almost every sect . . . We have ever been ready to suffer, as our martyrologies will prove . . ."

I don't believe Martin Luther was a True Christian(tm). For one thing, he believed parts of the Bible contradicted each other. He offered to give his doctor's cap to anyone who could reconcile these two verses:

Rom 3:28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.

Jas 2:24 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Trust the Lord! Do not be afraid!

Proverbs 29:25

Go to mountains, alone, find a cave and read whole - learn to know GOD!!!

Psalms 119:18

When You read the Bible with pure heart, GOD himself teaches you and helps you to understand

Job 32:8
John 6:45

After that you might be ready to take Jesus inside you. Jesus is God's Son and like God's Word: quick, powerful and sharper than any sword.
Hebrews 4:12

After you have felt His power, you will understand!

[Al Quran]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

That I am now a Christian - al-nazari - shows that I have no further truck with the faith of my fathers. I thought us True Believers were all to love Martyr Luther, because he was the first true modern Bible Christian, and gave the Pope of Rome, the Anti-Christ and Whore of Mammon, one in the eye? Brothers, guide me!

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Is it not written "Jesus is coming, look busy"? Actually, I am busy, running from the youths from Friday prayers, who have got a posse out for me. I stick out like a sore thumb at Sunday evensong, trying to read the hymnal from right to left, and being asked to remove my keffiyeh when I come through the door of the church. I'm not sure you guys really care at all. Do you just think you're all saved already, and that God will sort the rest of us out come the Day of Judgment? Let us, my brothers, go with Mark Ch.16 v.16 - He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned. As a True Believer, I went into my local church and got the font and water thing all sorted out myself. Surely now, faith alone is enough, as the prophet Luther told us!

Luther?
Oh yeah. Luther...Martin Luther? That German beer-barrel who claims that Moodslim faith is just heresy?

[Al Quran]

Re: Former Mooslim, Touched By Jesus

Is it not written "Jesus is coming, look busy"? Actually, I am busy, running from the youths from Friday prayers, who have got a posse out for me. I stick out like a sore thumb at Sunday evensong, trying to read the hymnal from right to left, and being asked to remove my keffiyeh when I come through the door of the church. I'm not sure you guys really care at all. Do you just think you're all saved already, and that God will sort the rest of us out come the Day of Judgment? Let us, my brothers, go with Mark Ch.16 v.16 - He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned. As a True Believer, I went into my local church and got the font and water thing all sorted out myself. Surely now, faith alone is enough, as the prophet Luther told us!