[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hello

Hi my username is still DanishAsatrú and not mikkelnorinder. How can i become christian if i do not have a bible?

Hello, Mikkel,

Bibles are available online free of charge. Here you can find the King James version, which is the perfect one. If the American language poses you problems, you can read one in the Daniac language over HERE.

Now you have not one but TWO Bibles. How wonderful! Start at "I begyndelsen skabte Gud himlen og jorden" (that's the Danianish version) and you'll learn more than you ever imagined in no time!

Psalms 12:6 The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.

Glad to be of assistance!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[mikkelnorinder]

Re: Hello

Hi my username is still DanishAsatrú and not mikkelnorinder. How can i become christian if i do not have a bible?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

I am sorry I don't think we understand. English not my native tongue I am sorry. Anyways I am happy to be here

Dear Foreigner;

THIS IS A CHRISTIAN FORUM. CHRISTIAN. You Savvy? We do not discuss whale blubber or wooden shoes here. Christian only.

Come back when God grants you the ability to speak His favorite language (AMERICAN).

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hello

So what can i do to become a christian? You guys seem to have fun in here and i want to be part of the fun

Oh yes! You should join us! We do have the most wholesome, encouraging fun! Why, just yesterday afternoon, my children all agreed to work together to complete their schooling and chores so they could play an extended round of what they call "Spiritual Retards Left Behind." It's based off the Holy Bible's reminder that Christ will remove all Born Again Believers from the earth in an event known as The Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; 1 Corinthians 15:51-54). Those left behind will suffer terrible wars, famines, plagues, and natural disasters. God will be pouring out His wrath against sin, evil, and wickedness. The children take turns being the sinners who will assume power and elicit cruel and satanic abuse against the poor spiritual retards who laughed at True Christians™ throughout these End Times and thus missed the chance of heavenly reward. Well, of course no one likes to be the one tied up at the fence and hosed down for hours at a time with cold water, especially on chilly days, or bound and slathered in honey only to be duct taped over an ant hole, but you know it's all in good fun, and it teaches a valuable lesson as well.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello

So what can i do to become a christian? You guys seem to have fun in here and i want to be part of the fun

Well...you get yourself a Bible, you start at Genesis 1:1 and you end at Revelation 22:21 and you don't skip any parts. If any of it didn't make sense, do it again. If it still doesn't make any sense, read it AGAIN.

Read it until it sinks in and the full majesty of Jesus is manifest in you.

YiC,

Zech

[mikkelnorinder]

Re: Hello

So what can i do to become a christian? You guys seem to have fun in here and i want to be part of the fun

[mikkelnorinder]

Re: Hello

Dude, I just told you that I can't explain or excuse why you why Danish people are backward, lethargic, Hell-bound, yodeling sorry excuses for excess human scum on the face of the Blessed planet.

It is okay friend i am not mad. We love americans. But we do not yodel. Swiss people yodel.

[mikkelnorinder]

Re: Hello

Hi friend i am sorry but my phone could not spell jesus. I am sorry i made you dissapointed
I am here to make friends and to be happy with you all

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello

Can you explain to me why you think we are lazy and sex driven?
Praise whatso whatso

If you are here simply to mock our beliefs, I'm afraid your stay will be quite short.

I'm not sure if you noticed since you're probably all hopped up on blubber and firewater, but this is a website devoted to singing the praises of Our Lord Jesus Christ as inerrantly depicted in the KJV Bible. Please join us!



YiC,

Zech

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: Hello

Dude, I just told you that I can't explain or excuse why you why Danish people are backward, lethargic, Hell-bound, yodeling sorry excuses for excess human scum on the face of the Blessed planet.

[mikkelnorinder]

Re: Hello

Can you explain to me why you think we are lazy and sex driven?
Praise whatso whatso

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: Hello

No. I really can't.

[mikkelnorinder]

Re: Hello

Hi friend can you explain why we are lazy and sex driven?

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: Hello

Hi DA! Can you tell me why your people are so sex-driven and lazy?

[mikkelnorinder]

Re: Hello

Hi friend no I don't live in an igloo. Igloos are for people from Greenland. Greenland is not Denmark. But nice to meet you.