Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

[SUV]

The Twelve Cats of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, when I brought home my tree,
My 12 cats were laughing at me.

On the second day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the third day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the fourth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the fifth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the sixth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the seventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the eighth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the ninth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the tenth day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me

On the eleventh day of Christmas I saw beneath my tree
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands
and my 12 cats laughing at me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas I looked at my poor tree:
12 cats a-climbing
11 broken branches
10 tinsel hairballs
9 chewed-through light strings
8 shattered ornaments
7 half-dead rodents
6 fallen angels
5 shredded gifts
4 males a-spraying
3 missing Wise Men
2 mangled garlands......
and my 12 cats laughing at me!

~~Author Unknown

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Ok....I can do that too....

Numbah One Day of Christmas

(The 12 Days of Christmas local style)

- by Eaton B. Magoon Jr., Edward Kenny, Gordon N. Phelps

Numbah One day of Christmas,
my tutu give to me
One mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Two day of Christmas,
my tutu give to me
Two coconut, an' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Tree day of Christmas,
my tutu give to me
Tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Foah day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Five day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Five beeg fat peeg... foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Seex day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seex hula lesson, five beeg fat peeg (that make TEN!),
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Seven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg,
foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Eight day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg (that make TWENNY!),
foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Nine day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Nine pound of poi, eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin',
Seex hula lesson,
five beeg fat peeg,
foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Ten day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Ten can of beer, nine pound of poi, eight ukuklele,
seven shrimp a-swimmin', Seex hula lesson,
five beeg fat peeg,
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

Numbah Eleven day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Eleven missionary, ten can of beer, nine pound of poi,
Eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', seex hula lesson,
Five beeg fat peeg,
foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree.

(Numbah Twelve day of Christmas the bes', and the bes' stuff always come las'...)

Numbah Twelve day of Christmas, my tutu give to me
Twelve TELEVISION, eleven missionary, ten can of beer, Nine pound of poi,
eight ukulele, seven shrimp a-swimmin', Seex hula lesson,
FORTY steenkin' peeg,
Foah flowah lei, tree dry squid, two coconut,
An' one mynah bird in one papaya tree!

Music and lyrics published by Hawaiian Recording and Publishing Company, Inc., and copyrighted in 1959.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Mele Kalikimaka!

There they go singing in pigeon.

[SUV]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Pastor, what's a "tutu?" I do Hope it isn't that neegroe "Bishop" from Darkest Africa.

If not, I'd like to meet him, and I will gladly waive the "dry squid" so as to not put him too much out of his way upon first meeting him. Bring it ON!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Pastor, what's a "tutu?" I do Hope it isn't that neegroe "Bishop" from Darkest Africa.

If not, I'd like to meet him, and I will gladly waive the "dry squid" so as to not put him too much out of his way upon first meeting him. Bring it ON!

Tutu is the auntie who homeskooled you, or watched you after school until your parents got home around midnight from toiling in the cane fields all day.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Tutu is the auntie who homeskooled you, or watched you after school until your parents got home around midnight from toiling in the cane fields all day.

Sometimes I wonder if Sister SUV's parents should have brought one of those canes home.

Sister: This was NOT served at the Last Supper!!


Sorry Jesus, I thought it was Skinny and Sweet . . .

[SUV]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Sometimes I wonder if Sister SUV's parents should have brought one of those canes home.

Sister: This was NOT served at the Last Supper!!


Sorry Jesus, I thought it was Skinny and Sweet . . .

JESUS!!! (But wouldn't He have been cute with feelers like that, don't you think?)

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Why Sister Sue, how thoughtful of you! This reminds me ever so much of my precious kitties, and of the Christmas I had last year! This year I'll make doubly sure to put the tree in a separate room away from my precious kitties, until I can be sure if they can behave.

I'll never forget how it was to see a chewed-up baby Jesus in the mouth of one of my kitties. Bless her heart, she thought he was a chew-toy!

Pastor Al, that's an interesting poem of yours also. But I didn't know it was acceptable for a Godly man such as you to wear a tutu? Is it a special privelege for a Godly man once he becomes a Senior Pastor to be able to wear a tutu?
I must say though, I'm surprised you wouldn't prefer a more manly item of clothing than a tutu.
Unless I'm mistaken about this whole tutu thing. My old brain isn't as sharp as it used to be, dear.

[SUV]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Bless her heart, she thought he was a chew-toy!

That's okay, Cat Lady. You should have heard some of the rumors going around Right here on our Godly board recently about what some "people" "thought": That Baby Jesus is a "snail" and God is a "klutz!" Well, I never!!!

My old brain isn't as sharp as it used to be, dear.

Neither is mine, can you Believe it? With so much last-minute Christmas Shopping on my mind and all

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Neither is mine, can you Believe it? With so much last-minute Christmas Shopping on my mind and all

Too much egg on your noggin', if'n ya ask me.

[Talitha]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

Too much egg on your noggin', if'n ya ask me.

Listen Sonny, you leave SUV's Egg-Noggin out of this.

Nobody's asking you, not even Jesus©

[Nobar King]

Re: Something Special for that Crazy Cat Lady

If the cat's still alive it might need one of these:
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