[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: I am Here to Bless True Christians™ With My Presence

My dear Lord, I praise You for Your mighty works. You truly are the All-Powerful God who reigns sovereign over all of Your creation. Thank you, thank you, thank you infinitely, for coming down and humbling Your divine Self to save us poor sinners, especially an wretch like me.

Humbly Your servant,
Elizabeth

[Witch Hammer]

Re: I am Here to Bless True Christians™ With My Presence

Jesus! Did you receive my prayer list this Christmas?
I humbly prayed for, and did not receive, the following:

Apache attack helicopter
5000 gallons of napalm
Misc. artillery and ammo
Hot coals heaped upon the heads of my enemies
Air taser M18 L Advanced, with laser sight
Zip ties
Duct tape
Pincers
Branding iron

If it is Your will to totally shortchange me on Your birthday, I accept your chastisement graciously. Thanks for your blessings....

[Jim Farmer]

Re: I am Here to Bless True Christians™ With My Presence

We've all been feeling the financial squeeze this year, and no doubt, so has Jesus.
But you would think that He could have delivered the last four. Maybe you haven't been tithing enough?