ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

Speaking of evil twins, care to explain this one Claus?

[Isabella White]

Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

Well, well, well; I see that we can an intruder sneaking his way into . "Santa", if you were coming here to learn about the saving Grace that is available through the precious of the and , , then I would welcome you with open arms. But, I think it's obvious to all, that you are here to have a bit of fun with the servants of Almighty . And we all remember what happened when a talking serpent found its way into the nursery!

Genesis 3:13, 14:
13 And the said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
14 And the said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life"

So, you see, "Santa", your trickery and charm won't work here, because we know what you are all about. I'm afraid that you will have to get up much earlier in the morning if you think you can fool the people of at , Satan!

[WWJDnow]

Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

Santa,

You think you can just slide down our chimney and start mocking Jesus? How dare you? God will not be mocked! Forget milk and cookies--I'm leaving a Chick Tract for you this year. It's the story of how you turned an innocent 8 year old into a murderer who was damned for all eternity. Or just click on the image now.



What I want for Christmas is for you to repent your sins and accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior who suffered and died upon the cross to redeem you. And a Donald Trump Presidential bobblehead.

[Santa Claus]

Ho ho HO!

It is I, your favorite supernatural being, the Reason for this Loverly Season! Santa! I'm back. Yeah, I do admit that my supernatural powers are limited to the superhearing of your naughty deeds and my superspeed on the Big Day, but it's still better than those of my rivals. The Jesus guy mostly concentrated on mass suicides of the hogkind thus spoiling perfectly good pork (which I deliver); The Kim family is best known for their capability of instantly growing daisies on their footprints (which I also deliver, the daisies, but in case of desperate need also the footprints); the English have the awesome superpower of turning all food into lukewarm tasteless gelatinous substance (yes, I do deliver, and I do know that Patsy Stone was an exception to this rule with her amazing ability to sustain life on booze only since 1970); and let us not forget Disney's superpower of making every good story a banal medley of self-evident deepities.

That said, don't hesitate to place your orders here! Ho, please be reminded that I do not deliver people or abstract concepts ("love", "peace of mind", etc.). I do not deliver "health" tho on some occasions blue pills are acceptable.

Please be informed that both I, Rudolph and the rest of the gang and most elfs have been inoculated against the coronavirus with the most effective Santa's Helpers' Immunization Treatment vaccine (not available for the public until 2022). My beard (facial hair, not in the "gay" sense although I've been through that phase, too, during my millennia-long existence and it was nice to say the least but I'm diverging) serves as well as the face masks (those I can deliver) against contamination.

Be nice and you'll get as many toys of genuine plastic replicas as I deem fit for you. Be naughty and you'll get what you need and deserve. Ho, ho, ho!