Look What I Got

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Look What I Got

Well, I got an honest to goodness classic! A real toy for young boys. Big muscle funny cars and hours of entertainment with out subliminal messages from video games or comic books!

Is that a young Hitler on the left?

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Look What I Got

Well, I got an honest to goodness classic! A real toy for young boys. Big muscle funny cars and hours of entertainment with out subliminal messages from video games or comic books!

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Look What I Got

He hasn't yet thanked me either, Mrs. Rogers, after giving him what I thought was the Perfect Gift for someone with a Name like his: A $50 Gift Certificate expressly written out as such: "For not purchasing alcohol."

Dear Sue, I have no doubt the lad is so overwhelmed by your thoughtfulness - your gift setting him apart from the boozy sinners who stagger through The Season - he is stunned, stunned into a silent reverie, his gratitude filling his heart as bottled water courses through his liver.

[SUV]

Re: Look What I Got

I have yet to receive a thank you from Brother Temperance for the gift I sent him - did it get lost in the mail?

He hasn't yet thanked me either, Mrs. Rogers, after giving him what I thought was the Perfect Gift for someone with a Name like his: A $50 Gift Certificate expressly written out as such: "For not purchasing alcohol."

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Look What I Got

I have yet to receive a thank you from Brother Temperance for the gift I sent him - did it get lost in the mail?



Indeed, when I saw this tie I immediately thought of him (and of Him); young Christian men can be 'hip' and 'groovy' after all, without resorting to metrosexualist depravity. Praise!

[SUV]

Re: Look What I Got

Lord Love a Duck, Miss Petal, wasn't that so kind of you!!! Bathing With Jesus will be even more fun than showering with Him. Especially since He refuses to take His Robe off, even in the shower stall, and I can't see a thing around it, slippin' & slidin' everywhere, hot spray all in my eyes...

So yes, I look forward to a bath with Him very much! Thank you!

"Rubber Saviour, you're the One!
You make bath-time so much fun!"

it ok Miss.Sue, i gonna sends you a belateds christmas gift it what i gave everyone in my sunday skool class!

you be able to take a long hot soak in the tub wiv lord Jesus, i no it prolly not gonna be as excitin as takin a shower wiv Him but it the bestest i could do for $11.99.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Look What I Got

As you may already know, my husband Gary bestowed upon me this gorgeous Hoover S3755 WindTunnel Bagless Canister Vacuum. I planted a big, fat Christian kiss on his cheek as soon as the wrapping came off.

Now, what DID this "girl" get for XMAS? I know you are all wondering! Well, Rocky got me that new CORSET and I just LOVE it! Oh and he got me some new black stockings too that are absolutely FABULOUS! I'd post a pic of me dressed in my new duds BUT for some reason this forum won't let me do so. But, trust me loves, I look absolutely RAVISHING in it all!!

Ravishing or not, what you do is forbidden by our LORD.

Deuteronomy 22:5-- The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Certainly, this is among your lesser abominations, but it will nonetheless be recounted by a sneering St. Peter before he pulls the lever that opens the trapdoor beneath your obscenely-heeled feet and sends you spiraling breathlessly toward the domain of Beelzebub. Praise Jesus!

[Petal]

Re: Look What I Got

I can't post my Gifts because I didn't get any, having followed Jesus' Command to forsake my Family.

it ok Miss.Sue, i gonna sends you a belateds christmas gift it what i gave everyone in my sunday skool class!

you be able to take a long hot soak in the tub wiv lord Jesus, i no it prolly not gonna be as excitin as takin a shower wiv Him but it the bestest i could do for $11.99.

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Look What I Got

Well ain't this all "special" LOL.........SUV I know Brother Love's two "harlot daughters" and you can bet your last dollar that in those presents there was at least some Victoria's Secret items for Mrs. Love. Maybe you can talk the RAVENOUS OLD WOLF into mailing them to you. Of course, I'm sure he'd want to see you in them (just to make sure the items fit you well of course...riiigghhhhttttttt lol).

Zeke I'm NOT understanding your present at all. I don't get it. Don't those Jap people know how to write English? I mean, afterall, is not English God's OWN language? (I think I read that somewhere in the BILLIONS of posts at LBC).

Wash...hmm...lol...I MUST say the picture of yourself bears a very EXCELLENT LIKENESS of YOU!! It IS definetly YOUuuuu....

Po Peter...I can think of some "additional" uses for your finger thing. Call me........

AND FINALLY our "dear" "sweet" Brother Love....a new BIBLE!! Holy SMOKERS BATMAN!! Well I'm SURE you'll be breaking it in here at LBC and "gifting" us all with your HELL-FIRE-BRIMSTONE sermons even MORE than you are already. BUTttt...I must question the chastity belt of iron that you got for Mrs. Love, love. I mean REALLY PEOPLE! Could Love have thought of anything WORSE FOR A XMAS PRESENT for his wife??? GODdddd I FEEL for that POOR WOMAN!! BTW Brother Love....do you STILL lock Mrs. Love up in the prayer closet at nights while you sleep with your street walk***...oh well...you know what I mean, love.

Now, what DID this "girl" get for XMAS? I know you are all wondering! Well, Rocky got me that new CORSET and I just LOVE it! Oh and he got me some new black stockings too that are absolutely FABULOUS! I'd post a pic of me dressed in my new duds BUT for some reason this forum won't let me do so. But, trust me loves, I look absolutely RAVISHING in it all!!

Love & Light
Twink

[SUV]

Re: Look What I Got

Gee, now I'm beginning to feel somewhat blue because I didn't get any Gifts. Wow, y'all got Jappy stuff, a new Bible, and a fake finger!!!

But! Being here with my Brothers and Sisters at Landover Baptist makes it all worthwhile. And at least that neegroe "Man" did Die, that Odd-Father of "Soul" (Something tells me he's not going to "Get Up" no matter how hard he begs Saint Peter!)

PS Brother Love, by chance, have those Gifts gone back out in the mail yet? Is there anything in them that perhaps a Lady might use?

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Look What I Got

Wash, maybe I should loan you my best gift of the day

Yes, it's a nasal/perianal hair trimmer/vibrator

[Brother Love]

Re: Look What I Got

AMEN SUV, AMEN!

Bout all I has is my wife and the grown kids (which I wish would jist go away).

Let's see, I got a new KJV1611 Bible as my old one was so wornout. That was the best present I could get....the Lord's WORD.

GLORY!!

Now I got my wife a new chastity belt made of real bonifide iron with a lock (can't be too careful nowadays cuz ya knows there be lots of rapists and perverts 'round ever where). Now she is old like me BUT that don't make no difference to some of the DEGENERATES floatin' around out there in the world ya know.

My two harlot daughters ganged up and sent me several presents. Guess they tryin' to kiss my rear end and make up cuz they probably needs a "loan" about now to pay for all the stuff they bought their "friends" for Christmas. BUT, I jist boxed all them presents up and sent them rit back to those two WAYWARD WHORES out in Cali-fornification!! And with a note sayin', "Daddy DON'T needs no gifts from SATAN'S SLUTS!!" Now those two girls are EVIL ABOMINATIONS for sure! They won't turn to JeSuS so they is goin to BURN!! And, I be glad when they DO burn! I should have "sacrificed" those two WENCHES the very day they were born!!

Oh well, sorry for speakin of private family matters on this JOYOUS day of the LORD'S BIRTHIN' DAY.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Look What I Got

I recieved the best gift any man could ask for- a framed picture of myself.

[SUV]

Re: Look What I Got

Brother Zeke, I'm assuming that the Japs' hearts were in the Right place, seeking to be "disespectful to SIN" as their detergents seek to be "disrespectful to dirt."

PS I can't post my Gifts because I didn't get any, having followed Jesus' Command to forsake my Family.

This thread is to show Jesus and the entire congregation the gifts you gave or received for Christmas this year.

For some bizarre reason, that little yellow monkey Hitoshi sent me this:

I suppose he thought it was something of value. Those slants are simple-minded, I swear. They can't even mock well.

The "gift" was accompanied by this card. I can't make heads nor tails of it.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

This thread is to show Jesus and the entire congregation the gifts you gave or received for Christmas this year.

For some bizarre reason, that little yellow monkey Hitoshi sent me this:

I suppose he thought it was something of value. Those slants are simple-minded, I swear. They can't even mock well.

The "gift" was accompanied by this card. I can't make heads nor tails of it.