[Johny Joe Hold]

Sister Isabella, I'm becoming a bit suspicious of this "Santa." Instead of slipping nice bottles of rum into Christmas stockings I think he is drinking it.

[MitzaLizalor]

(Back in the Hindu monastery, I would have been beaten with a rod for uttering those words.)

As an aficionado of Indonesian culture, perhaps "Hari Natal" could substitute for "Christmas" in such quarters. The same applied in the Malay States prior to de-federation or whatever happened leaving Singapore out in the cold. Their choice, of course, and it remains the only part of Asia I'd be happy to live in, were it necessary to decamp from here. So a good choice it would seem.

Perhaps your familiarity with the proto-Indo-European language, one of whose daughter tongues is Sanskrit, will enable you to glean the etymology. But so many Malayan cards have personality-cult busts on, never missing a propaganda opportunity to keep themselves in the dark ages, best to avoid them. At least Indonesia has snow flakes! Singapore just speaks English and consequently prospers.

But from me it's a simple Happy Christmas, just as Jesus would wish it to be for The Redeemed.

Isaiah 51:11

[GanduHindu]

Perhaps your familiarity with the proto-Indo-European language, one of whose daughter tongues is Sanskrit, will enable you to glean the etymology.

Sister Mitza,

You got it all backwards. Sanskrit is the mother of all languages (at least the Indo-European ones)

Proto-Indo-European (PIE) is a reconstructed fabrication invented somewhere in the 18th or 18th centuries. It is a heresy. They say it has been extinct but for a language to be extinct, someone has to speak it in the first place, and no one ever did.

Anyone and everyone working in the field of PIE are a bunch of liars and culture vultures of the lowest order. PIE is no more of a real language than Klingon from the Star Trek universe. At least, Klingon has a more advanced vocabulary.

There have been similar attempts to equate Sanskrit with Lithuanian. I had never even heard of that country until I heard that outrageous claim. Their puerile attempts to claim to speak a language as advanced as mine is laughable.

Sanskrit is a living language, and you need spend many years under a trained Brahmin Pandit to acquire its knowledge. All the pain and torture I underwent for nothing?

Basically, some 19th/20th century European "Indologists" like the German Max Mueller or the Frenchman Louis Renous, became self-appointed and self-taught scholars of Sanskrit. Unlike me, they did not undergo pain and sacrifice and simply bribed some of our local Brahmin Pharisees at the Ghats of Benares to accredit them.

Those European filthy dogs could barely speak or understand Sanskrit, but somehow became experts through linguistic transliteration. It's like if I were to come to America, gather some information on baseball, read some books in the library, watch some YouTube videos, and declare myself an "expert" on baseball without ever attending a single MLB game.

I can only pity those godless Europeans who "think" they're experts in Sanskrit. Their unqualified opinions on this topic have no value.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Sister Mitza,

You got it all backwards. Sanskrit is the mother of all languages (at least the Indo-European ones)

Sanskrit is a living language, and you need spend many years under a trained Brahmin Pandit to acquire its knowledge. All the pain and torture I underwent for nothing?

I can only pity those godless Europeans who "think" they're experts in Sanskrit. Their unqualified opinions on this topic have no value.

Mr. HackingHindu, show us the Bible written in Sanskrit and you might have some credibility. We are still waiting for confirmation about the language and message Jesus wrote in the sand (John 8:1-11). We at Landover Baptist are certain that when archeologists find this writing it will be in English and Jesus' message will be one condemning homerism.

[Santa Claus]

Sister Isabella, I'm becoming a bit suspicious of this "Santa." Instead of slipping nice bottles of rum into Christmas stockings I think he is drinking it.

Johny-Boy! I'm intoxicated with the Faith and Love that all the children of the world show me on this bestest time of the year, the Yuletide! Ho, but you are young and impatient. Do you remember the glorious days, when you were the poster boy of these nice vegetable products and you only ate healthily!?



Guess what! Some of these were preserved in my vintage stash under the ice and now I can deliver you a sortiment of the tastiest greens! Oh, Joy! And all this goodness is a-comin' your way by your friendly supernatural harbringer of Deliverance: I, Santa Claus!



P.S. As a person who can say "Merry Christmas" in 6327 living and 21674 dead languages, I'd also like to hear the process of phonetic change and a set of regular correspondences between Sanskrit and Kallallisut, Guarani and Khoisan languages.

[GanduHindu]

Mr. HackingHindu, show us the Bible written in Sanskrit and you might have some credibility.

Oh, my Mayor friend.

Please show me one of my quotes where I questioned the infallibility or inerrancy of God's word in the Bible. I did not. Some doubts on King James I's scribes is a different matter.

As for the Bible in Sanskrit, it does exist. It does exist. Please learn the Sanskrit language and help yourself at this link.

Let me help you. I presume you prefer the New Testament, right? Please follow the first three verses of the New Testament, in Sanskrit the way it should be spoken, then a transliteration in Roman alphabet, and finally, an authentic translation into one of the modern-day inferior languages such as English.

मत्ति 1 Matti 1 - Matthew 1

Matthew 1:1
अब्राहमस्य वंशजस्य, दाऊदस्य वंशजस्य येशोः मसीहस्य वंशावली ||
abrahamasya vanshajasya, daudasya vanshajasya yeshoh masihasya vanshavali |
The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

Matthew 1:2
अब्राहमात् इसहाकः उत्पन्नः बभूव। इसहाकात् याकूबः उत्पन्नः बभूव। याकूबात् यूदसः तस्य भ्रातरश्च उत्पन्नाः बभूवुः ||
abrahamat isahakah utpannah babhuv. isahakaat yakube utpannah babhuv. yakubat yoodasah tasya bhratarasch utpannah babhuvuh ||
Abraham became the father of Isaac. Isaac became the father of Jacob. and Jacob the father of Judas and his brethren;

Matthew 1:3
यूदसथामरयोः पेरेसजेरहौ जातौ। पेरेसात् हेस्रोनः जातः। हेस्रोनेन अरामः उत्पन्नः बभूव।|
yoodasathamarayoh peresajerahau jatou. peresaat hesron jatah. hesronen aramah utpannah babhuv. ||
Judah became the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar. Perez became the father of Hezron. Hezron became the father of Aram. ||

Indeed, the Bible sounds so much more beautiful in Sanskrit. I feel as if Jesus is communicating to me directly.

In our present world, I have to suffer a structurally deficient language called English (full of cuss words starting with F__ and B__), but if and when I show up in the Christian Heaven with Jesus, I'm sure He would prefer to converse with me, a learned Brahmin, in the only language suitable for the gods, Sanskrit,

Did you know there isn't a single cuss word in Sanskrit? It's a perfect language for communicating with God.

Hallelujah. (or Alleluyahaa in Sanskrit)

[Isabella White]

Sister Isabella, I'm becoming a bit suspicious of this "Santa." Instead of slipping nice bottles of rum into Christmas stockings I think he is drinking it.

Oh, I have no doubt — none, whatsoever — that you are entirely correct, dear Brother Mayor Hold. And that reminds me of the great warning that spoke of, as recorded within the glorious pages of the :

Luke 17:26-30:

²⁶ And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man.

²⁷ They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all.

²⁸ Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded;

²⁹ But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.

³⁰Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.

I must say: I do believe that there is more — much more — to SATAN Claus's "pleasures" than just a bottle of Captain Morgan's rum. Yes, I am convinced — due to the extremely licentious nature of SATAN Claus's provocative attachments — that he is engaging in the evils of maryjuana! Yes, maryjuana — the burning weed with its roots in ! As you shall see below, this has a terrible effect on those who indulge in the soul-destroying reefer — and we are seeing that evidence in every single post that SATAN Claus has used to litter !

[Santa Claus]

Oh, I have no doubt — none, whatsoever — that you are entirely correct, dear Brother Mayor Hold. And that reminds me of the great warning that spoke of, as recorded within the glorious pages of the :

Luke 17:26-30:

²⁶ And as it was in the days of Noe, so shall it be also in the days of the Son of man.

²⁷ They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood came, and destroyed them all.

²⁸ Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded;

²⁹ But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.

³⁰Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.

I must say: I do believe that there is more — much more — to SATAN Claus's "pleasures" than just a bottle of Captain Morgan's rum. Yes, I am convinced — due to the extremely licentious nature of SATAN Claus's provocative attachments — that he is engaging in the evils of maryjuana! Yes, maryjuana — the burning weed with its roots in ! As you shall see below, this has a terrible effect on those who indulge in the soul-destroying reefer — and we are seeing that evidence in every single post that SATAN Claus has used to litter !

Shirley Baby, Ho ho ho. You are probably not aware that my trusty elfs are as obsessed with stalking as your Jesus. They've followed your each and every step all year and told me that your beverage cabinet is all but empty and that's why you're so grumpy. You're too cute and shy to make direct request but_I_know_and_deliver! Imagine this: It's Christmas morning. You've managed to close your arthritic but gift-greedy fingers around the stocking hanging from the mantelpiece. And. Lo!



Just the tonic you need. The elfs had to enter through the manhole to my forgotten under-ice stash and scrape the deepest crevasses of the cavity to extract this vintage medicine! I know you have to show off another tantrum to please your little friends, but I also know that you're still the tiny little Sheila who sat on my lap in the Mall. After the tonic you'll regain your strength and can easily extract this other wonderful flask of liquid happiness!



And all this for free from Santa my my little Possum!

[MitzaLizalor]

.
.

do not play

Ho! Noes!! I thought we'd discussed this, that you wouldn't show my grandmother in her "acting" days around the 55 second mark. At least, that's what she said: her sisters were more circumspect in prognostications as to why only she married. Obviously, with the war about to kick off so few girls would find a beau once it ended and those with that little bit extra



I have forgotten what I was going to put next. Today's soup was chicken with ginger, port & Chinese broccoli (and noodles, obviously) unfortunately the portions were quite large and there was about a magnum of port in it: I'll need to speak to the cook but sadly if it doesn't go in the soup it goes in the cook things get broken. My grandmother never took alcohol and I hesitated to remind her of I Timothy 5:23 by that age having read The Bible which I could remember when prompted. Her muffins OTOH were excellent! But I'm feeling a bit tired, now.

[Santa Claus]

Ho! Noes!! I thought we'd discussed this, that you wouldn't show my grandmother in her "acting" days around the 55 second mark. At least, that's what she said: her sisters were more circumspect in prognostications as to why only she married. Obviously, with the war about to kick off so few girls would find a beau once it ended and those with that little bit extra



I have forgotten what I was going to put next. Today's soup was chicken with ginger, port & Chinese broccoli (and noodles, obviously) unfortunately the portions were quite large and there was about a magnum of port in it: I'll need to speak to the cook but sadly if it doesn't go in the soup it goes in the cook things get broken. My grandmother never took alcohol and I hesitated to remind her of I Timothy 5:23 by that age having read The Bible which I could remember when prompted. Her muffins OTOH were excellent! But I'm feeling a bit tired, now.

Mitzy-Bitzy! Ho ho ho! Of course I can provide with the refreshment that 1 Timothy 5:23 recommends! Also from the forgotten stash, so it's a great matured vintage!



This product tastes best when consumed from a champagne flûte of uranium glass.

[MitzaLizalor]

EXAMPLE OF A DRINK
PROHIBITED BY GOD
⬇

Thank you for taking an interest. Not for myself, you understand, but do you have any vintage Pomerol from the Titanic? A good amount was retrieved I gather and my friend is partial to that (and Pauillac, nearer the coast) personally I find the French Pyrenees' plus à mon goût.

I do have an ultraviolet light here, though, to check out purported uranium glass but mostly prefer Scottish crystal. A sparkling Chardonnay may be better suited than purple wines—I'll take your word for it—neither of which spurn The Scriptures, because He loves us.

Proverbs 23:29-33 Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things.

I would not like my friend to be contaminated in that way.

[Isabella White]

Shirley Baby, Ho ho ho. ...Blah, blah, blah... [Redundancies removed by concerned, lady.]


Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!

Well, Ho Ho Ho yourself – you are NOT fooling anybody, SATAN Claus! Now, kindly vamoose your demonic behind out of here, before I am FORCED to call upon the Administrators of this Sacred Site!

[Santa Claus]

Well, Ho Ho Ho yourself – you are NOT fooling anybody, SATAN Claus! Now, kindly vamoose your demonic behind out of here, before I am FORCED to call upon the Administrators of this Sacred Site!

Sweet Shirley, Are you insatiable?! But... Santa delivers. Please find attached within your pantyhose on Christmas Day not a two-way but a glorious ONE-WAY ticket to Southend-on-Sea, Essex, Merry Old England! You're an Essex girl at heart, aren't you?


I am quite sure that the voucher that was preverved in my glacier stash remains valid - and you're gonna have a jolly swell utterly nice time there. Please do not hurry getting back. Ho ho ho!

[Santa Claus]

EXAMPLE OF A DRINK
PROHIBITED BY GOD
⬇

Thank you for taking an interest. Not for myself, you understand, but do you have any vintage Pomerol from the Titanic? A good amount was retrieved I gather and my friend is partial to that (and Pauillac, nearer the coast) personally I find the French Pyrenees' plus à mon goût.

I do have an ultraviolet light here, though, to check out purported uranium glass but mostly prefer Scottish crystal. A sparkling Chardonnay may be better suited than purple wines—I'll take your word for it—neither of which spurn The Scriptures, because He loves us.

Proverbs 23:29-33 Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things.

I would not like my friend to be contaminated in that way.

Mitzy lass! Santa always delivers. I do surmise that my glacier stash indeed partly dervies from the iceberg that sunk the Titan1C, the greatestest and bestestest boat ever built! Do not be alarmed by the modern label on the bottle, my sometimes-too-eager elfs replaced the soaked ones with new, fancier labels. I can guarantee that this wine is a genuine replica of the pre-phylloxera Pomerol. As you can see, I can turn mere utterances and requests into wine, no previous liquid required. Take that, JC-boy!! Ho ho ho ha ha ha!

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Mr. Santa, do not think we do not see through your ruse here. You are asking us to believe you can fly around the world in one day delivering presents and maintain a data log of every keystroke every child (and non-US citizen) makes in their electronic devices over decades. No such person POSSIBLY exists. I call bunkum on you Sir. Bunk-ham. Do you even have a long form birth certificate!?!