A friendly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

[Jesus]

I hope you are all getting Me awesome CHRISTmas presents and tithing extra in My name!

Please don't jew Me on My Birthday! And don't forget to tip your pastors!

BLESSINGS!

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Well, hello there Holy Omniscient Messianic One!!

Thank you so much for all you have done for us, who were once naught but filthy abominations, but are now tolerable in the sight of He that sent You.

I won't blather on with endless praises here, of which you are so worthy, but just be advised, I will carry on like a star-struck school girl when you finally call me home to you! I can't wait!! Kill me now, please!

With loving, humble and faithful worship,

Yours In You,

Mark.

[IreneS]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Jesus, I didn't think we'd see you this year. How honoured we are! It's already Tuesday here, so it's your birthday tomorrow. I thought I might go and stone some sinners for your birthday. I hope you will like that.
Your adoring fan,
Widow Irene.

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Oh! Oh!

Dear Merciful Jesus, sir -

My , my ... my reason for living! I only exist to glorify You! Thank You ever so much for gracing this humble forum with Your omnipresence.

For Your gift, I am tithing this month's mortgage payment to LBC, which I hear is Your favorite church. I also plan on publicly rebuking the You-mocking whores and blasphemers who have the nerve every year to patronize Seamus O'Sinner's Public House on the eve of Your birthday (it's not open Christmas Day or else those drunkards would be saucing it up then as well).

If there is anything else You want from me (do You enjoy fresh pie?), You have only to ask; I am Yours for the taking!

In Complete and Perfect Adoration
Mrs. Paddy McIrish

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Lord Jesus, it's wonderful to see You again! I have lots of questions, but I don't want to annoy You. Therefore, I will quietly pray, and I'm sure the answers will be made clear to me.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

The Fairest of 10,000, Ruler of all Nations...at Your Holy Feet we do bow...



Thanks for stopping in, King of Kings. We know it gets busy managing the entire universe like You do.

Your faithful servant,

Pastor Ed

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Hosanna, Lord: I love You, and have pledged my entire life to You. Please keep Your eyes upon me, and grant me True Christianity someday. If I am not meant to be a wife and mother, please help Mother and Father find a suitable housekeeping or cook position for me. Your pleasure is my only goal. Again, I love You. Praise You. Oh bless the Lord, my soul, His mercies bear in mind, forget not all His benefits, the Lord to thee is kind. NRL

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Actually, Jesus, I know I said I wasn't going to bug You with specific questions, but...

We've got some midterm elections coming up. I've been praying and praying, trying to understand why it was Your will that so many bad things would be allowed to happen during the 2012 elections, but all I can come up with is that You were displeased with the Republican party because our leadership did not do enough to suppress the black vote stop voter fraud.

If we work extra hard to do better this year, do You think maybe You could see Your way clear to allowing the GOP to have some victories?

I'm sorry for asking, but I know a lot of Republicans who've been really despondent, and I'm sure it would pull some of them out of their depression.

Thank You.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

When are you you going to return to us?

It's getting mighty gay on Earth, these days

Did you know they have communal showers, these days? I have to keep a keen eye on my Nephew when he changes for swimming to keep him safe from perverts.

You would be shocked.

YIY

[Godfly]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

This years war on Christmas is over! CHRISTMAS WINS AGAIN! CHRISTMAS WINS AGAIN! SHOUT GLORY!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Well that settles it, atheists.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Jesus, since I am one of your favorite creations, would you mind helping me move this weekend? It would hardly be work with the two of us doing it.

[Nobar King]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

Hey, Jesus, I'm still waiting for my DEWALT 10-Inch Double-Bevel Sliding Compound Miter-Saw.

[James Hutchins]

Re: A freindly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

I'd never joo Jesus!

As always Jesus, I have your six.

(btw - While the Cicada invasion was fun last June, it was not quite the same as full blown petulance and locusts. I hate to be a whiner but could you do better this year?)

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A friendly CHRISTmas reminder - for My sake

My Lord, what is the deal with You allowing poor George Zimmerman to be arrested for pointing a shotgun at his ex? Are You testing him the way You tested Job?

This is so inspiring!