[BelieverInGod]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

You don't spill seed when you masturbate? What exactly do you do with it.

Wait... Do I really want to know the answer to that question?

[TAMSwordofGod]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Someone please tell me where it says Masturbation is against God.

And use this Genesis 38:8-10:

(8)Then Judah said to Onan, “Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.” (9) But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. (10) What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death also.

Because this is not masturbation as he was laying with his brother's wife therefore it is not solo sex. His crime was actually spilling his seed and not rearing children

[TAMSwordofGod]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

The kind who follow the Bible.

Far from it

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

wt(abbreviation for un-Christian word deleted) kind of christians are you people?

The kind who follow the Bible.

[mayhem]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

wtf kind of christians are you people?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Why are you arguing about self-mutilation? Surely none of you are planning on doing this. A chainsaw is designed to not function unless both hands are being used, hence the dead-man's brake and the trigger. A conventional, man powered saw would prove to be useless, as most people do not have the willpower to go through with it. There are cases, however, of people cutting off extremities while using a table saw, though.

I would advise against all of these courses of action. All of them would only end in your pain and suffering, and God does not want His children to suffer. He loves each and every one of you and only wants you to be with him after your time on this Earth has come to an end. Please stop arguing and suggesting ways to hurt one's self. Someone already hurt himself so that you may live forever. Please do not forget Him...

So speaketh the fluffy bunny Christian.

Read the Bible, and tell us again how God doesn't want us to suffer.

[Vascilios]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Why are you arguing about self-mutilation? Surely none of you are planning on doing this. A chainsaw is designed to not function unless both hands are being used, hence the dead-man's brake and the trigger. A conventional, man powered saw would prove to be useless, as most people do not have the willpower to go through with it. There are cases, however, of people cutting off extremities while using a table saw, though.

I would advise against all of these courses of action. All of them would only end in your pain and suffering, and God does not want His children to suffer. He loves each and every one of you and only wants you to be with him after your time on this Earth has come to an end. Please stop arguing and suggesting ways to hurt one's self. Someone already hurt himself so that you may live forever. Please do not forget Him...

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Wouldn't a table saw be easier? I mean you just turn it on and lean in.

Just trying to be helpful.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Does it have to be a chainsaw?

A chainsaw is recommended due to ease of self-amputation; remove one hand, and then strap the chainsaw to your stump in order to remove remaining hand. Using an ax would be too laborious -- especially when hacking off the remaining hand.

Does this mean god is an Evil Dead fan?

Now that's just silly.

[True Sinner]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

The both hands bit could be difficult... I suppose I could chew the other one off.

Does it have to be a chainsaw?

Does this mean god is an Evil Dead fan?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Do you have any in extra large, without the ex bit in the text?

You are probably also an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Do you have any in extra large, without the ex bit in the text?

Cheers.

It is very brave of you to confess to being an obese self-abuser, but unfortunately we don't stock the required shirt.

[True Sinner]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

Do you have any in extra large, without the ex bit in the text?

Cheers.

[Raven.]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

We do not sell 'goth clothes'.

I don't look good in the brightest of colors so i was just wondering. atleast something like navy blue?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Landover's Ex-Masturbator shirts are in!

We do not sell 'goth clothes'.