[Fred Ettish]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Im sorry, but the first time I laid eyes on Mrs.Ettish's genitals, well, um, I couldnt do it. Picture a fleshy axe wound sorrounded by singed wiry hair. It looked like a tarantula inspecting an autopsy. You get the idea.

Three months of reading the HOLY GOSPEL and heavily meditating on our Lord's order in Genesis made me reconsider. Since then we do "it" twice a year (her birthday and our anniversary) but only with the lights off and my socks on. To be honest, for the past three years I've been wearing my flannel pajamas and just unbuttoning the fly. We're not the young spring chickens we once were anyway.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

sheets

Sheets have the advantage that you can have them checked (by one of the Creation Scientists) to see whether raspberries had been used. I mention this in confidence, since you do actually have daughters and this is one of the tricks recommended privately amongst harlots (for an occasion like this). About ¼ - ½ punnet (depending on nationality).

So watch out for any surprise raspberry soufflés around the nuptial dates. A sure sign.

[A Follower]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

As a father of several girls I would be absolutely furious if I did not receive at least some bloody sheets as proof of what happened on the wedding night. Of course I would prefer an actual high definition video of my daughters having intercourse, because a careful examination of such videos would be much more likely to show any sort of tampering that would be hard to detect on just bloody sheets.

I do this only because I want to protect my daughter , if I cannot show proof of my daughter getting it on with her husband to whoever wishes to see it, the husband could just have my baby girl named a whore at any time and I would be forced to stone her as directed by Deut. 22. That is _not_ something I want.

Deut 22: 13-21
[13] If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
[14] And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
[15] Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
[16] And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
[17] And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
[18] And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
[19] And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
[20] But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
[21] Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

[Bob4God]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Two years after being married is a long time to go without having sex. But is it necessarily a bad thing?

We know 1 Corinthians 7:1says that "it is good for a man not to touch a woman."

I am aware that 1Timothy 2:15 says that women are saved through childbirth, but honestly, whose salvation is more important? The man or the woman's?

If a man is not comfortable having sex with his wife, I do not see why he should jeopardize his angelic virginity that the LORD admires so much just so Heaven can have one more wench to scrub the Heavenly dishes.

[Mary Thompson]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Ya know..... he does look A LOT like Mr. Potato Head.

They are both spitting in GOD'S face by not giving Him new little soldiers for Christ. For Christ's Sake!

It would be over in a few minutes. She should get a sheet and cut out a hole that is 2" x 2" for her nether regions. She could lay it over her. When he climbs on to do his GODLY deed she could hold her breath to make it seem quicker. Whamy, clammy a new Soldier for Christ is born!

They are very selfish.

The idea is to stay a virgin UNTIl marriage, then on marriage night, start doing God's will, the sooner you do it, the more Soldiers for Christ there will be. But in two years you could have two Soldiers for Christ and another on the way, I agree with you, they are indeed very selfish.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Brother Bob4God, your message is spreading like wildfire!

http://www.martinkem.com/2013/04/christian-couple-abstain-from-sex-after.html

Man and Wife, Still Virgins

Ya know..... he does look A LOT like Mr. Potato Head.

They are both spitting in GOD'S face by not giving Him new little soldiers for Christ. For Christ's Sake!

It would be over in a few minutes. She should get a sheet and cut out a hole that is 2" x 2" for her nether regions. She could lay it over her. When he climbs on to do his GODLY deed she could hold her breath to make it seem quicker. Wham bam, thank you maam a new Soldier for Christ is born!

They are very selfish.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Did anyone inform them sex is needed to make children? This way they are ignoring God's commandment to create children (Genesis 1:28). If they refuse to make children they will burn in Hell for breaking God's laws (James 2:10).

I know sex is a horrible, horrible activity. But God demands it from us, so we have to comply!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

As if anticipating such vows secularist laws would hold such a couple not to be married at all. Homosexuals can sodom-it-up as much as they like and be regarded as so wed they can never divorce. But if either of those two looked for a divorce they would be laughed out of court! They could probably get an annulment as failed miscegenists..

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Brother Bob4God, your message is spreading like wildfire!

CHRISTIAN COUPLE ABSTAIN FROM SEX AFTER MARRIAGE FOR TWO YEARS

“If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says. They have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, jobs and social calendar with no hint of relational strain. Sometimes after dinner they will kiss in the kitchen and “start having bedroom thoughts,” Darla says, but they never fail to pull back. Darla breaks away to spray cool, misted water on her face. Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood.

http://www.martinkem.com/2013/04/christian-couple-abstain-from-sex-after.html

Man and Wife, Still Virgins

[SavedSouthernBelle]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

I just found this thread and would like to add that the best thing to do is pray to the LORD for a multiple birth--twins are good, triplets are better! That way you only have to become carnally involved once!
Don't forget to pray for little boys. I have twins myself and one of them is a girl.
That is entirely my fault. I did not pray hard enough. My husband, bless him, was so disappointed in me.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Thank you again for another point.

I just noticed you're from The Isle of Man

It's especially important you heed the Rev Rodimer's advice. Your Salvation(C) is in immediate danger.

[Celestebear]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

I will have to tomorrow but thank you for being so nice!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Thank you again for another point.

Why not head over to the Introductions Forum and tell us what church you go to, how you found Jesus, and what your favorite Scripture is?

[Celestebear]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Thank you again for another point.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon

Thank you it was a silly question. I am the only True Christian in my family so I have no one else to ask. Thank you again.

Also how is a man supposed to do his duty and test your virginity immediately if you're being unclean down there?