[JennyD]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Well, well, well...Vicky and Officer Don are getting married. Well, there hasn't been a union of such gigantic objects like this since the Indian subcontinent plate rammed into the Asian plate and caused the Himalayas! <---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

Why, you weightist BIGOT!

I'm appalled by this blatant hypocrisy!

Anyway, this is the display for the boots I picked out. Do you think he'll like them?

Those are very nice boots, Sister! Maybe you would like to contact the police chief and make sure that they meet the department's regulations. They probably issue special boots for their officers, you know, in case someone tries to shoot them in the foot or something.

[confedchick]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Do you think it's inappropriate for me to purchase him a wedding gift? I've never been married before, so I'm not sure if that's how it's done. I don't want to do anything improper.

Sister Victory,
from wedding.theknot.com - it is perfectly acceptable to give your spouse-to-be a gift. See excerpt...

Please inform us as to the matter of the wedding-gift exchange between the bride and groom. Is this a time-honored tradition?

A.

It is an optional tradition for the bride and groom to exchange gifts -- the night before the wedding, the morning of, or once the festivities are over. You could give each other something to wear for the wedding itself (cuff links, a necklace) or maybe something for the honeymoon (a great pair of sunglasses, snorkeling gear). It doesn't have to be anything major -- a photo frame or a treasured book of poetry make great gifts. Honor this tradition in whatever way you two desire!

[SUV]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

<---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

<---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

Twice!!! Listen you, I already gave you your neegroidally-Correct (or whatever) smiley. Here it is again; take it and GO!

It's a bit 'high yaller,' yes, but don't you all wish you were lighter skinned anyway? Bless JESUS for this bonus He hath given to you.

Now, SHOO! If Sister Victory needs help in the Kitchen for the Festivities, I'm Sure she will contact you.

[SUV]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Do you think it's inappropriate for me to purchase him a wedding gift?

Sorry I'm late getting to you, Sister Victory. I had to Chastise a Certain neegroe

By all means, do stock up on all of the dark sunglasses you can find! I understand that after the Wedding Ceremony,
some new Husbands are even more likely to attempt "eye contact" with their new Brides

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Twice!!! Listen you, I already gave you your neegroidally-Correct (or whatever) smiley. Here it is again; take it and GO!

It's a bit 'high yaller,' yes, but don't you all wish you were lighter skinned anyway? Bless JESUS for this bonus He hath given to you.

Now, SHOO! If Sister Victory needs help in the Kitchen for the Festivities, I'm Sure she will contact you.

I keep giving her this one that looks just like her and she just ignores it.

She needs a man to put her in her place.

[SUV]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

I keep giving her this one that looks just like her and she just ignores it.

She needs a man to put her in her place.

I Know© why she doesn't like mine: It has a smile (for JESUS) on it's face!

[Bob4God]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

I have privately counseled Ofc. Richards about his future role as a husband, and during this talk he commented that he has poor circulation in his feet and ankles. Apparently secular doctors have told him it has to do with his weight, but that can be quickly dismissed as bigotry against well-fed Christians.

The poor circulation is more likely a result of stress, or perhaps the devil is attempting to prevent him from doing his job as an Officer of (GOD's) Law.

Anyway, the point is you might want to make sure the boots aren't going to further his loss of circulation in his GODly feet.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Maybe she should buy him a paddle or a gun instead.

[confedchick]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Maybe she should buy him a paddle or a gun instead.

Ohh - very good idea, Sister BTB! I hate being paddled by K but at least he gives me the option of which "design" to be left behind when he punishes me. Instead of those nasty loops or straight marks left with regular canes, loopy johnnies (or whatever they're called) and the whip, he let's me choose the paddles with the heart cutout (heart shaped welts to remind me how much he loves me), his initial (to remind me I'm his), or the circle cutout so my fanny can be fashionably polka dotted. The choice is given to me only when my happenstances are minor.
If he sees a need for immediate correction - he just takes off his belt and uses it.
Perhaps you (Sister Victory) could get him a paddle or two in which to leave different imprints.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Thank you everyone (except that uppity negro) for the wonderful advice. The idea of giving him a paddle or two is an excellent idea! It shows that I understand that he is in control and I have no problems with that. Maybe I could find a paddle with a Garfield the Cat design on it. I love Garfield the Cat!

I checked the store and they didn't have the boots in a boys size he could wear, but they did have them in a women's size. They look the same and have no designation on them that would let him know that they came from the ladies department. Do you think those would be ok? Would it be deceitful of me? I don't want to mislead him, I only want him to be comfortable as he works hard to protect the community like the hero he is.

Thanks for the idea about the sunglasses, Sister SUV. Maybe I should purchase some for myself just to be safe.

[JennyD]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Do you want your beloved to go to Hell, Sister? Women's shoes?

Deuteronomy 22:5

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Abomination, Sister! Why, you might as well be setting him up on a date with a Chippendales dancer or Michael Jackson!

[VictoryOS]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Do you want your beloved to go to Hell, Sister? Women's shoes?

Deuteronomy 22:5

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Abomination, Sister! Why, you might as well be setting him up on a date with a Chippendales dancer or Michael Jackson!

Oh, you are so right Sister Jenny! How wonderful it must be to have such a smart brain for a woman! Thank you for pointing this out to me because I certainly don't want to condemn my beloved Mr. Richards to the fiery pits of Hell.

[JennyD]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Sister Victory, it's been suggested to me that we should take care with the menu for your shower. After all, Officer Richards has a very modest, er, policeman's salary, and we don't want to elevate your appetites beyond the meat he can provide.

So, instead of beef jerky, bratwursts with hot sauce, and those jumbo salamis, how would you feel about Vienna sausages with a little dribble of white sauce?

[JennyD]

Re: Bridal Shower for Sister Victory

Last night's event was fabulous! The Cheesecake Factory closed early for us, and brought in special waiters. They served all the ladies the most scrumptious foot-long weiners and hot buns I've ever tasted!

And the presents!

Heading over to the wedding now . . . more later on!