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  • #16
    Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

    Well... on my wedding night... what's the delicate way to put this... we didn't sleep, for the next three days.

    Comment

    • #17
      Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

      Originally posted by Sionisx2 View Post
      Well... on my wedding night... what's the delicate way to put this... we didn't sleep, for the next three days.
      Praying for three days in the face of all that disgraceful exchange of bodily fluids, I like it! Well done sir!
      Psalm 81:10:
      I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
      open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

      Comment

      • #18
        Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

        Yes, she wanted to pray for 4 but I was comfortable with 3. I figured 3 hours worth of sex warranted for 3 days of praying time.

        Comment

        • #19
          Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

          Originally posted by Sionisx2 View Post
          Yes, she wanted to pray for 4 but I was comfortable with 3. I figured 3 hours worth of sex warranted for 3 days of praying time.
          Why do the un$avED always have to twist beautiful things around to make them all so unHoly?

          Comment

          • #20
            Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

            Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
            the egg is discharged at the start of her period...
            Is it true that that's what you vegans eat instead of having a nice normal fried egg with your bacon in the morning like decent people do? You disgust and terrify me in equal measure.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • #21
              Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
              Is it true that that's what you vegans eat instead of having a nice normal fried egg with your bacon in the morning like decent people do? You disgust and terrify me in equal measure.

              1- I'm not vergan.
              2 - Vegans don't eat eggs of any kind, including human eggs. And of course they don't eat bacon.
              3 - If a person did wish to eat human eggs, it would take a lot of them to make a meal, since they are only about a millimeter in diameter. And since a woman generally only ovulates one egg at a time, it seems to me that collecting enough human ova to make a meal would be exremely labor-intensive. If you want lots of tiny eggs for breakfast, have caviar.
              3 - You disgust me, but you don't frighten me.
              Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

              Comment

              • #22
                Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
                1- I'm not vergan.
                2 - Vegans don't eat eggs of any kind, including human eggs. And of course they don't eat bacon.
                3 - If a person did wish to eat human eggs, it would take a lot of them to make a meal, since they are only about a millimeter in diameter. And since a woman generally only ovulates one egg at a time, it seems to me that collecting enough human ova to make a meal would be exremely labor-intensive. If you want lots of tiny eggs for breakfast, have caviar.
                3 - You disgust me, but you don't frighten me.
                4 - All those periods you've been eating have obviously robbed you of your ability to count.
                O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                Comment

                • #23
                  Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                  Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                  4 - All those periods you've been eating have obviously robbed you of your ability to count.
                  I added another item and forgot to re-number, and you lot have disabled my ability to edit, so I couldn't fix it.
                  That doesn't change the truth of the information I posted.
                  Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                  Comment

                  • #24
                    Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                    Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
                    I added another item and forgot to re-number, and you lot have disabled my ability to edit...
                    Who disabled your ability to think? You seem even duller than most females, so I suppose God must have cursed you with spasticism as punishment for the sin of witchcraft.
                    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                    Comment

                    • #25
                      Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                      Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
                      1- I'm not vergan.
                      Well, I hardly think anyone is after having heard her "sing"



                      I am so revulsed at the rest of what this one who lifts her leg to pee all over our Godly board has stated that I will not even re-print it to respond to it. I nearly hurled Right into my platter of bacon & eggs & biskits Southern style (with the chunky gray Gravy)

                      Comment

                      • #26
                        Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                        Originally posted by SUV View Post
                        Well, I hardly think anyone is after having heard her "sing"



                        I am so revulsed at the rest of what this one who lifts her leg to pee all over our Godly board has stated that I will not even re-print it to respond to it. I nearly hurled Right into my platter of bacon & eggs & biskits Southern style (with the chunky gray Gravy)

                        I meant to type "vegan."

                        Fergie isn't my style either.

                        Since your board only exists in cyberspace, and my bladder only exists in physical space, it's impossible for me to physically pee on your board.

                        Guess your gravy was even chunkier after you puked, eh?
                        Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                        Comment

                        • #27
                          Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                          Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
                          It's impossible for me to physically pee on your board.
                          That sounds like the voice of experience speaking. How long did you spend trying?
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                          Comment

                          • #28
                            Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                            That sounds like the voice of experience speaking. How long did you spend trying?

                            I haven't spent any time trying - I prefer to pee in toilets.
                            Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                            Comment

                            • #29
                              Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                              If I know anything about sex, it's that it should be awkward, emotionless, and joyless for both man and woman. I liken sex to a fire extinguisher...the glass should be broken and the extinguisher used only when it's time to procreate. For example, when you need another son to help you in the fields.
                              A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

                              Psalm 139:19-20
                              Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
                              For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

                              Comment

                              • #30
                                Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

                                Originally posted by Eugene Hackwith View Post
                                If I know anything about sex, it's that it should be awkward, emotionless, and joyless for both man and woman. I liken sex to a fire extinguisher...the glass should be broken and the extinguisher used only when it's time to procreate. For example, when you need another son to help you in the fields.
                                EXCELLENT
                                Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                                Comment

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