Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

[Glendora Christianson]

I know this is an uncomfortable subject, but in every wedding there is the FIRST FART. I know some grooms expect their new wife to never fart, while all good brides know men fart, but know better than to complain.

Anyway, I think it would help our newlyweds if some of us more seasoned spouses would share their experiences and wisdom.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

let me just say that I HAVE NEVER PASSSED air infront of Zeke since we got engaged back in 2005, but sadly, he is not discrete in some bodily functions.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

let me just say that I HAVE NEVER PASSSED air infront of Zeke since we got engaged back in 2005, but sadly, he is not discrete in some bodily functions.

Thanks to Elmer's Coon Dog, I have never passed gas in my 25 years of marriage. I do wonder if we should stop buying Old Roy dog food from Walmarts.

PS I keep a body pillow between Elmer and I so I can block his barn burners.

[Nobar King]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

Lol, maybe not eat much? A woman should be drinking more tea, anyway.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

A good TC wife should WORSHIP her man's flatulence! That's some Godly poot coming out of her man's sphincter and it's the wife's duty to inhale in a great, BIG whiff the moment she detects that delightful odor.

There's nothing to complain about. I let out great, big, juicy man farts all the time. There nothing at all bad about the smell. In fact, Creation Scientists have proven that WOMEN LOVE IT!! Last time I ripped a big one, Sister SUV practically fainted out of ecstasy when she passed by!!!


There's nothing like a great big "whodunnit" to keep the wife in her proper place!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

Now you women quit blaming the men. We know you really does it!
Men, maybe it's time to quit being gentlemen and taking the blame.

[Talitha]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

Keep it plugged up with a Cork.
You can then go discreetly into the Bathroom to release it in it's proper place.
I happened upon this handy little gizmo a few years back. It suites the purpose well, although I've absolutely no idea what it really is.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

Looks awfully like one of those "pineapple" things that grace the outdoor balustrades of my mansion.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

I guess there are some advantages to being a widower.

Genesis 22:5
And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

[Nobar King]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

Pineapples are acidic, and I think that is a counter-fart agent.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

Wait a second....Is this why I keep finding bottles of "Beano" on my doorstep, in the collection plate, and on my car?

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

"Beano"? What is this "Beano" of which you speak? I've never heard of "Beano." What is the purpose of this "Beano"?

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

"Beano"? What is this "Beano" of which you speak? I've never heard of "Beano." What is the purpose of this "Beano"?

We are far too tolerant of women around here.
Try clicking on the word "Beano" in the Great pastor's post.

[SUV]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

I think the Mens fart a whole lot more than we do, Mother Glynndie - and show off about it, too!!!

Rumor has it that the idyllic 32-day Marriage of Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman
broke up due to his propensity for sticking her head under the covers to give her a "Dutch Oven"

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: Honeymoon Farts - We Need to Talk...

My dear Tom told me once that semen is a good cure for flattulence. Better than spilling it at least. I don't know whether or not it works, but we have tried numerous times. He says it works. I always trust what he says.