Devilish Tomatoes!

[Anthony Harper]

Good Sunday Afternoon Friends,

I just got back from an excellent sermon learning about Hebrews; I hope everyone else on here has gone to church also. However, I have found that my parents purchased something that has invited the devil into their house! Right from the grocery store. They purchased Village Farms Campari tomatoes. What is concerning about it is it has in large print "Sinfully Sweet". What does that teach shoppers? That sin is ok just because it tastes sweet? I don't think so! It blatantly tells you what this product stands for.

By purchasing these tomatoes, you are standing in agreement with the devil and opening your house to sin! This is why it is not ok to eat devil cake or deviled eggs. My house shall only eat things that are heavenly and that does not stand in agreement with sin. I hope everyone on here will go through their kitchens and make sure you do not have this product. I will throw these out immediately!

[MitzaLizalor]

Thank you for the heads-up. The product looks like it may have come from a supermarket, typifying what's on offer in there: much more than tomatoes from what I've heard. Perhaps you could mention this to your father, who could instruct your mother as appropriate? I'm sure he'd appreciate knowing the sorts of places she frequents and which places he should himself avoid.

Hebrews 6:7-8 The earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God: but that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned.

One point less considered is the nature of thorns and briers: they are harmful. And that harm takes many forms. The rose is not the stinging nettle! Sin changed their nature in subtly different ways, although grasping either may not be a "subtle" experience, including the internal structure of much flora not immediately apparent. The toadstool. The cactus (although this also has spikes) and the deadly nightshade. Satan made sure his creatures found ways to make them edible with some very desirable—from his perspective—effects. Tomatoes are known as love apples, now that they don't kill you outright, as is made plain right there on the label.

Christians can nevertheless eat Duckeodendraceae, just not in furtive scheming ways, clearly differentiated by God as follows:

Duckeodendric varietal	modification by sin	Index of scheming	Furtive quotient	Effect on libido	SCRIPTURE
Mandragora	N/A	0	0	minimal	Genesis 30:14a And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them unto his mother Leah.
‘‘Mandrakes’’	Toxin	80	1	incipient	Genesis 30:14b Then Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's mandrakes.
''	Envy	7½	0	nascent	Genesis 30:15a And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband?
''	Foreboding	0	90	horror	Genesis 30:15b And wouldest thou take away my son's mandrakes also?
(the mandrakes)	Lust	100	2	butterflies	Genesis 30:15c And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee to night for thy son's mandrakes.
Concoction of nightshade sp.	Eroticism	100	56¼	extreme	Genesis 30:16 Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.
Autumnali var.	Redeemed in Christ	0	-100	none	Song of Solomon 7:12-13 Let us get up early to the vineyards… there will I give thee my loves. The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved.

Plainly the erotic associations between "Tomatoes" (love apples colloq.) and "Mandrakes" (lit. love apples) are equivalent. Jacob's scheming wives exploited one another to get outcomes they desired, by way of Reuben's foraging, nauseating though that may be. But not to them, evidently. There is no need to speculate what concoctions they came up with, for themselves or for their owner, the actual effect seeming fairly straightforward. Contrast that with Solomon's depiction of Christ's love for the Church, altogether pure with no scheming or enticement, no erotic furtiveness and certainly no seduction. This passage may involve a different species due to where exactly Solomon was when he was inspired by God – and how often does He use a simple plant, a fruit perhaps or a flower, to bring us alive to His love, the greatest love of all.

“Love apple” tomato (fruit)	“Love apple” mandrake (fruit)
_	_

[Madame Frottage]

I'm pleased to say I just left Village Farms a scathing Yelp review. And I mean scathing! (And in French)

[MitzaLizalor]

Does "French" still exist?