Pastor Zeke Changes Policy Regarding Women in the Ministry!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

HAHAHAHA! I fooled you! Made you look!


Actually, I just wanted to catch your attention so I could remind you that the February Deep-Clean event is scheduled for the 2nd Monday in February. All of the volunteers will gather at the church (please use the Alabaster Box entrance, ladies) at 10 AM with cleaning supplies in hand. A sack lunch will be provided and coffee will be served compliments of Sister Mary Etheldreda and her homeschooled children.


A devotion and prayer will be offered by Sister Daisy prior to assignment of cleaning areas. We plan to be engaged in cleaning activities for the greater part of Monday. Pastor's Inspection will commence at 4 PM. If we do not meet his expectations, appropriate discipline will be administered and remedial cleaning will take place on Tuesday beginning at 5 AM.


GREAT NEWS: Sister Elizabeth's wonderful husband, Monty, (or whatever his name is) has donated tons of cleaning materials (new vacuums, dusters, hand towels, polishing cloths, etc.) What a wonderful man Mr. Johnson is! Please offer a prayer of thanks to the Lord for Johnson. I know I don't see how we could have seen a smile on Pastor Ezekiel's face without Johnson being involved.


I am looking forward to the sanctuary and all areas of our church looking sparkly and bright once we've finished the task. Glory to God!

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Pastor Zeke Changes Policy Regarding Women in the Ministry!

HAHAHAHA! I fooled you! Made you look!


Actually, I just wanted to catch your attention so I could remind you that the February Deep-Clean event is scheduled for the 2nd Monday in February. All of the volunteers will gather at the church (please use the Alabaster Box entrance, ladies) at 10 AM with cleaning supplies in hand. A sack lunch will be provided and coffee will be served compliments of Sister Mary Etheldreda and her homeschooled children.


A devotion and prayer will be offered by Sister Daisy prior to assignment of cleaning areas. We plan to be engaged in cleaning activities for the greater part of Monday. Pastor's Inspection will commence at 4 PM. If we do not meet his expectations, appropriate discipline will be administered and remedial cleaning will take place on Tuesday beginning at 5 AM.


GREAT NEWS: Sister Elizabeth's wonderful husband, Monty, (or whatever his name is) has donated tons of cleaning materials (new vacuums, dusters, hand towels, polishing cloths, etc.) What a wonderful man Mr. Johnson is! Please offer a prayer of thanks to the Lord for Johnson. I know I don't see how we could have seen a smile on Pastor Ezekiel's face without Johnson being involved.


I am looking forward to the sanctuary and all areas of our church looking sparkly and bright once we've finished the task. Glory to God!

You almost gave me a heart attack, woman!

[Des]

Re: Pastor Zeke Changes Policy Regarding Women in the Ministry!

I'll send over 8 of my staff. Don't bother feeding them. They only eat balls of rice, raw fish, and seaweed. Two of them have a rudimentary understanding of English, but the best way to keep them working is to give them a rap with a riding crop and then use it to point at what you want done. They catch on fast that way.

Also, if they get too close to the West wall they may collapse into convulsions. This is from the wander deterrents securely locked around their necks. Should this happen, do not touch them. Use a mop or broom to push them toward the center of the room and they'll be fine in a couple of minutes.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Pastor Zeke Changes Policy Regarding Women in the Ministry!

HAHAHAHA! I fooled you! Made you look!


Actually, I just wanted to catch your attention so I could remind you that the February Deep-Clean event is scheduled for the 2nd Monday in February. All of the volunteers will gather at the church (please use the Alabaster Box entrance, ladies) at 10 AM with cleaning supplies in hand. A sack lunch will be provided and coffee will be served compliments of Sister Mary Etheldreda and her homeschooled children.


A devotion and prayer will be offered by Sister Daisy prior to assignment of cleaning areas. We plan to be engaged in cleaning activities for the greater part of Monday. Pastor's Inspection will commence at 4 PM. If we do not meet his expectations, appropriate discipline will be administered and remedial cleaning will take place on Tuesday beginning at 5 AM.


GREAT NEWS: Sister Elizabeth's wonderful husband, Monty, (or whatever his name is) has donated tons of cleaning materials (new vacuums, dusters, hand towels, polishing cloths, etc.) What a wonderful man Mr. Johnson is! Please offer a prayer of thanks to the Lord for Johnson. I know I don't see how we could have seen a smile on Pastor Ezekiel's face without Johnson being involved.


I am looking forward to the sanctuary and all areas of our church looking sparkly and bright once we've finished the task. Glory to God!

Naomi, my dear sister in Christ, you scared me for a minute! But I'm glad that my husband offered to help you and the Ladies of Landover. If you are willing, I can come over to help you in any way shape or form possible. (I understand if I can not enter God's most holy and favorite place).

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Pastor Zeke Changes Policy Regarding Women in the Ministry!

HAHAHAHA! I fooled you! Made you look!

Only a woman can do something like this.

Proverbs 9:13