Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

[Jedediah]

We have a new policy at my house that I thought I would share here, so that other women may benefit from my wisdom as head of a Christian household. This has brought our family closer together, and it has all brought us closer in Him.

From now on, all of your food should be in the shape of the Cross. You're probably already making excuses. Just stop. Anything can be shaped into a Cross if you chop it up.

You're welcome, ladies.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

Thank you, Brother. I have employed this very technique in my home since your advice, and I would like to report a very positive response. Between serving all our food in the shape of a cross, and covering the corners of the family computer and television so the only visible parts are in the shape of a cross, my family has definitely noticed a difference!

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

My dogs are enjoying it too. Because the bits are cut out of my fillet steaks, I need twice as many steaks. Which means not just the offcuts from one piece of steak, but the offcuts of 2 pieces for the dogs.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

This thread gave me an idea. To spice up my relationship with my wife, I have asked her to carry a cross over her shoulder at all times. We'll see if it makes her more tolerable to have around the house.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

This thread gave me an idea. To spice up my relationship with my wife, I have asked her to carry a cross over her shoulder at all times. We'll see if it makes her more tolerable to have around the house.

Be careful! I had my wife do that once. I reprimanded her about something and as she turned around to face me, the cross took a great chunk out of the wall, broke my gilt statue of Jesus and hit me in the face. After that, she was forbidden from carrying the cross anywhere.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

Deep fry.
Nothing says "I Love Jesus" more than the sound of something falling into the deep fryer. Well, not a child, they let out terrible screams and just ruin a pious meal with my guests (Sorry Pastor, that one will not disrupt us again).

[Nobar King]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

Stop bragging about how much you would be getting paid if you were working a real job.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

That is ridiculous. There is no mention of praying to Jesus or birthing on that list.
A woman is utterly incapable of doing anything that requires decision making.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

***Feminist Man Hating Image Removed***

This is patently ridiculous. There's no difference between a housekeeper and janitor, and managing facilities on the computer does not require double pay. This is just one more example of Big Feminism trying to undermine the God-given authority of men by pretending women have some productive value. Of course women have productive value. We alone produce the perfect environment for a man's seed to take root and develop into a Soldier for Christ, given sufficient gratitude, from which humbleness and obedience are inspired.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

This is patently ridiculous. There's no difference between a housekeeper and janitor, and managing facilities on the computer does not require double pay. This is just one more example of Big Feminism trying to undermine the God-given authority of men by pretending women have some productive value. Of course women have productive value. We alone produce the perfect environment for a man's seed to take root and develop into a Soldier for Christ, given sufficient gratitude, from which humbleness and obedience are inspired.

I agree sister. It should not be taken for granted that without women, there could be no male offspring. That, at least, is something.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

I agree sister. It should not be taken for granted that without women, there could be no male offspring. That, at least, is something.

Unless of course God decided to go back to Population Growth Through Bone Transplant [transplanting rib into full woman]. In His Infinite Wisdom however, it seems He has decided instead to take the opportunity to remind women during each and every Insemination Event of her justified position as subservient to Man. A woman is reminded not only by her physical position under her husband, but in recognizing his scrunched up face as the look of the sheer courage and fortitude required to undergo such an undignified and physically taxing act he must now perform in service to the Savior because of the Sin of Eve.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

So true! My dear husband's loving and brave actions of impregnating me reminds me all the time of why women are inferior to men. It's just a reminder of Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Timothy 2:15.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

Unless of course God decided to go back to Population Growth Through Bone Transplant [transplanting rib into full woman]. In His Infinite Wisdom however, it seems He has decided instead to take the opportunity to remind women during each and every Insemination Event of her justified position as subservient to Man. A woman is reminded not only by her physical position under her husband, but in recognizing his scrunched up face as the look of the sheer courage and fortitude required to undergo such an undignified and physically taxing act he must now perform in service to the Savior because of the Sin of Eve.

It is most regrettable that a woman must actually be touched in order to produce male offspring. If a male could be produced by a rib the way Eve was, this would certainly be preferable. It seems that by this rudimentary process it is more likely that a woman, maybe even a retard, could be produced, but not a man.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

It is most regrettable that a woman must actually be touched in order to produce male offspring. If a male could be produced by a rib the way Eve was, this would certainly be preferable. It seems that by this rudimentary process it is more likely that a woman, maybe even a retard, could be produced, but not a man.

It is our shame, Brother, as the weaker sex, to know that men must suffer under this system that is a source of continued indignity. Women are the objects of such humiliation to Man. On behalf of all women, I heartily apologize for our many faults, and our many deficiencies that the Good Lord, in His Infinite Wisdom, has decided will be the Natural Law. From our wombs are brought forth retards and dwarfs and coloreds and girls, and those of us who have been touched by the Goodness of the Lord know the depths of this offense.

I am so sorry.

To Mr. Etheldreda, to my sons, and to men in general.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall

It is most regrettable that a woman must actually be touched in order to produce male offspring. If a male could be produced by a rib the way Eve was, this would certainly be preferable. It seems that by this rudimentary process it is more likely that a woman, maybe even a retard, could be produced, but not a man.

Sweet, Darling Billy Bob,

Can I get you to stop by to help me with a diseased cottonwood tree in the front lawn? I am having a new one delivered next week but this one has to be gone by then.

I promise pie! Your choice.

NRL