Ladies, It is Football Season

[BrotherLarry]

Football can be a confusing and often vexing concept for women. To the uninitiated it appears to be a swirling mass of big-bodied young men flying about a field, trying to wrestle an odd-shaped ball from a bunch of other muscle-bound men. It is four-hours of yelling and screaming, running about in a frenzy of color and pageantry. Well, there is one thing that women understand about the game of football and all the hoopla that goes with it and that is the actual game is a good excuse for a party. And every party, regardless of the setting, needs a good menu to keep the party going.


I trust that each of you has planned for the next few months, when you are to be silent, inviting your husband's friends to watch every game they choose, serving appropriate game-time foods and drink so that you do not reap the wrath of the head of the household. Perhaps you should share here some of your favorite recipes to help other women ensure a happy and healthy football season. Glory!

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

I have not watched American football on television because I have been very busy with my education and political work and also it is not really football. I think I will watch it this year because the Black men of American football are protesting the racism of Babylon that keeps all the money and large screen high definition televisions for white men only. When a Black man sits down for your national song he shows the world that he will not accept white racism any longer. The Black football players want a decent wage of at least 15USD per hour and they are protesting the shooting of Black men just for fighting with the police. They want the police disarmed and out of their neighborhoods. The rich old white men who hold these Black heros in bondage are afraid of the Black men and they will say nothing to make them stop. This could be the beginning of the revolution.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

I have not watched American football on television because I have been very busy with my education and political work and also it is not really football. I think I will watch it this year because the Black men of American football are protesting the racism of Babylon that keeps all the money and large screen high definition televisions for white men only. When a Black man sits down for your national song he shows the world that he will not accept white racism any longer. The Black football players want a decent wage and they want the police out of their neighborhoods. They are protesting for an end to white racism and the shooting of Black men just for fighting with the police. The rich old white men who hold these Black heros in bondage are afraid of the Black men and they will say nothing to make them stop. This could be the beginning of the revolution.

What in the Name of Jesus are you doing in the ladies' forum? I have told you before that the men here are keeping a close watch on you. As a True Christian(TM), I have a right to post here any time I wish - but here you walk in like you belong and start discrediting one of the most Christian sports there is. How dare you say it isn't really football?


Don't make me pray against you. Perhaps you need to think of leaving school and heading back to Abu Dhabi or wherever it is you come from in deepest darkest Africa.

[handmaiden]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

Keeping a husband well-fed is one of the least onerous duties of a True Christian Wife.



Submissively Yours,


Handmaiden

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

Keeping a husband well-fed is one of the least onerous duties of a True Christian Wife.



Submissively Yours,


Handmaiden

Amen, sister! My husband is really fond of me cutting potatoes into thin slices, wrapping it in bacon, and deep frying it. I also ensure there is plenty of cold beer, pie, meat pies, bacon, and pie. Essentially, my husband works so hard as the head of my house that when he can invite some of his friends over, relax, and watch football, I do all I can as his helpmeet to ensure he can have a good time.

[handmaiden]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

. . . my husband works so hard as the head of my house that when he can invite some of his friends over, relax, and watch football, I do all I can as his helpmeet to ensure he can have a good time.

I believe that I read somewhere that men can become so pre-occupied with sports that they become less interested in , ahem, other things. And that can be a relief for a delicate Christian lady and her, you know, lady parts.


On the other hand, I have also read that incidents of domestic violence increase during football season. But that is obviously the women's faults, for not keeping their husbands properly fed and otherwise cared for.


And if something is domestic, can it be properly termed "violence"? Anything that takes place in the home is loving discipline in obedience to God. Only a true harridan would vex her husband into doing something that could be witnessed by outsiders, and she would be all the more deserving for having done so.


My prayers go out to all the good Christian husbands during football season, may your wives attend to their duties in fine fashion and not diminish your enjoyment of the game by forcing you to split your focus by administering discipline.


Supportively Yours,


Handmaiden


P.S. Keep the kids well fed and quiet, Ladies. Your man has better things to do than babysit your brats.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

You are right sister! And I was rereading my earlier post, that in my grief and out of habit, I referred to my just-last-night deceased husband as alive. He is with Jesus and my female brain did not make the switch fully yet.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

You are right sister! And I was rereading my earlier post, that in my grief and out of habit, I referred to my just-last-night deceased husband as alive. He is with Jesus and my female brain did not make the switch fully yet.

This is all perfectly understandable, but we mustn't dwell on him; Mike, Mack, Mark - whatever it was. He's just a shell now, since his soul is with our Heavenly Father.


No, much better to think of what remains. Those lovely sons and your future husband, who should be tall, dark haired, and with nice hands. And a True Christian, of course.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Ladies, It is Football Season

I suspect we will have to boycott these football games if all this kneeling stuff continues. I have already banned San Francisco football games in my house. It's bad enough that their city is the homosexual capitol of the western hemisphere. Now they want us to watch them hate America.