[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Sunscreen--Sinful or Selfless?

Sunscreen is inherently sinful as it is a satisfactory lubricant for homosexual intercourse.

As an ex-queer from sunny California, it was always in plentiful supply. Even if I had blown my welfare money on cocaine and motel rooms, I always knew that my dozens of daily sodomy trysts would continue just by jacking a bottle of SPF-60 from a tourist when he wasn't looking.

Praise God I am saved now from such a deplorable and degenerate life of reprehensible sin.

In Christ

[Miss Christine]

Re: Sunscreen--Sinful or Selfless?

Ahhh, an excellent point to make. Hopefully my sunscreen is of the un-sinful persuasion as it tends to burn something terrible when put on sensetive skin such as the eye area and I assume "South of the border" as well.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Sunscreen--Sinful or Selfless?

There are exactly TWO legitimate reasons to be out in the sun for extended periods of time: doing manual labor, and grilling a dead animal.

If God in His Infinite Wisdom decides to burden you with wrinkles and skin cancer, that is simply the price you pay for those two enjoyable activities. Any attempt to circumvent His Will in this respect is reprehensible.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
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[James Hutchins]

Re: Sunscreen--Sinful or Selfless?

I agree completely with Brother Smyth.
When I go out in the sun and my home, I stay inside my classic Lambo LM 200 with tinted windows, speaking to the field hands by way of a PA. When I return to my little farm house, I park in the garage and take the elevator to my study where I can monitor the entire 1,200 acres via CCTV.

[JustGotSaved]

Re: Sunscreen--Sinful or Selfless?

i dont think it's right that you women touch yourselfs all over like that, in putting on the sunscreen.

Especially if you do it at the beach in front of everyone. Rather than let the men watch you touch your warm taut bronze skin all over, and the rubbing, up and down the legs, and on the exposed sideboob, you should pray to God not to burn you, or maybe just accept the sunburn you will get as an everpresent warning against the hellfires that aweight those whom sin.

That'd kepe you straight and kepe the men around you from sinnning.

Yup, that's probably the best. NO SUNSCREEN

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Sunscreen--Sinful or Selfless?

Interesting quandry.... I've never considered sunscreen an issue of vanity myself. The way I see it, sunscreen is an all around benefit. God saw fit to bless me with beautiful white skin and my SPF 100 sunscreen helps me protect what he created. Plus, as mentioned previously, keeping my skin intact makes me more pleasing to look at for all the Godly men out there. Afterall, I wouldn't want to assault their eyes with sun spots and ghastly moles .

This pretty much sums it up for me, too.

Plus, I have hair with a (natural) red cast to it, and if my pale pale skin burns a bright red, I am in essence waving my entire red being before the township, like a red flag before bulls.

We all know red is the Jezebel of colors, sinfully cheap and stimulating. In the movies, the town tramp is always dressed in red, head to toe. I think Mary Magdalene started it all. So ix-nay on the red lobster look.