[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Should women use the computer during that time or does it make their posts unclean?

Ask you father to install our JesOS™ computer operating system. Pastor Isaac Peters worked intimately with the Holy Ghost to provide a superior operating system worthy of protecting True Christians™. Your father will find it has many wonderful features, including these:

• Ephod anti-demon prayerware in the Cache that load automatically
• Prayer-mail Version KJ now allowing the uploading of multimedia with your prayers
• The Word Processor “Paul 150AD” with illuminated fonts and 17th century spell checker, now with Manna v7.0.8
• Revelation v 5.0.9.17, a big improvement on v 5.0.9.16. This actually allows you to wipe the Hard Disks of atheists even if you only know their email address.

It is almost like that time when Aunt Elizabeth Sue was supposed to sing a special song at the Eastertide, when all of a sudden her monthly came unexpectedly. She was shunned for quite some time when the pastor learned she was not only bleeding while she sang "Oh Lord, my soul doth long for Thee," (in the key of C) but that she had used a tampon instead of a Godly sanitary napkin to absorb her sin. Oh, my - Father is angry that I have written too much and that I spoke of female issues. I must go.

Oh dear! I heard of a lady who didn't believe in the importance of bearing children as commanded by God (Genesis 1:28), and found THIS MESSAGE FROM CHRIST when flushing her would-be miracle down the toilet!

[addy the whore]

Re: why we need to be spanked

old man please help me

[James Hutchins]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Mark I dream of getting spanked by you

No doubt you call'spanking' a euphemism for be taken like a kleenex from a nightstand.

The Pastor was correct, you are a dirty, filthy whore.

[addy the whore]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Mark I dream of getting spanked by you

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: why we need to be spanked

I think the perfect solution would be to have your computer inside of your menstrual hut.

This way you can abide by Jesus' command (Leviticus 15:19) and continue to post.

You might want to consider voice recognition software so that your unclean hands do not leave residue on the keyboard.

God bless.

Unfortunately, my hut does not have electricity; Father felt I could do without conveniences for a few days each month, and I have, of course, submitted to that decision. Oh, how I sometimes curse Eve for her stupidity in listening to that vile serpent. May our Lord bless you, Dr. Niles, for your wisdom and for taking time to respond to me. No doubt you are a veritable saint in the eyes of Jesus.

Respectfully,
Naomi Ruth Lamb

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Dr Niles,

I would prefer to ask one of the ladies of the forum this question but I am not yet able to begin my own questions - I pray that occurs soon - but it is, well, almost "that time" of the month for me. I asked my Mother this question and she isn't sure, since Father rarely allows her to visit the internet: Should women use the computer during that time or does it make their posts unclean? I don't want to anger our Lord nor offend the pious women and Godly men here. I know you are a busy (and handsome) man, but this has been burning in my breast for days as I near my unclean time. Won't you help me, please? It is almost like that time when Aunt Elizabeth Sue was supposed to sing a special song at the Eastertide, when all of a sudden her monthly came unexpectedly. She was shunned for quite some time when the pastor learned she was not only bleeding while she sang "Oh Lord, my soul doth long for Thee," (in the key of C) but that she had used a tampon instead of a Godly sanitary napkin to absorb her sin. Oh, my - Father is angry that I have written too much and that I spoke of female issues. I must go.

I think the perfect solution would be to have your computer inside of your menstrual hut.

This way you can abide by Jesus' command (Leviticus 15:19) and continue to post.

You might want to consider voice recognition software so that your unclean hands do not leave residue on the keyboard.

God bless.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Dr Niles,

I would prefer to ask one of the ladies of the forum this question but I am not yet able to begin my own questions - I pray that occurs soon - but it is, well, almost "that time" of the month for me. I asked my Mother this question and she isn't sure, since Father rarely allows her to visit the internet: Should women use the computer during that time or does it make their posts unclean? I don't want to anger our Lord nor offend the pious women and Godly men here. I know you are a busy (and handsome) man, but this has been burning in my breast for days as I near my unclean time. Won't you help me, please? It is almost like that time when Aunt Elizabeth Sue was supposed to sing a special song at the Eastertide, when all of a sudden her monthly came unexpectedly. She was shunned for quite some time when the pastor learned she was not only bleeding while she sang "Oh Lord, my soul doth long for Thee," (in the key of C) but that she had used a tampon instead of a Godly sanitary napkin to absorb her sin. Oh, my - Father is angry that I have written too much and that I spoke of female issues. I must go.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Sorry for not being able to keep the sacrasm out of my voice

I really do not understand why you are here. This is a forum to fellowship about Jesus and following His Word(c).

If you reject bits of the Bible that you personally don't like, what do you think Jesus would think about that?

YIC

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Sorry for not being able to keep the sacrasm out of my voice

It's high time you post an introduction thread. Maybe this will shed some light on why you are so defiant towards the Word of God and are in such need of a sound spanking.

[addy the whore]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Sorry for not being able to keep the sacrasm out of my voice

[addy the whore]

Re: why we need to be spanked

Well sadly its illegal for you to spank me, I probly need it

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: why we need to be spanked

I'm positive that I do not need spanked by anyone

If you were my daughter, I'd beat you every day. I'd have you Praising Jesus at the top of your lungs in no time.

Prov 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

[Didymus Much]

Re: why we need to be spanked

I'm positive that I do not need spanked by anyone

And that's OK with everyone here. No one is going to force you to do anything you don't want to do (they have to obey secular law, at least for now).

The problem is that the Bible says you need to physically corrected, disciplined, beaten with many stripes (call it what you will) in order to get to Heaven.

If you claim to be a Christian, you have to do what the Bible tells you to do (pro tip: that's how people know you're a Christian). If you disagree with what the Bible says about anything, the Bible says you're not a Christian and you're not going to go to Heaven.

End of.

Now, are you going to start constructively and maturely discussing the contents of the King James Bible and the issues raised therein (which is the purpose of this entire forum) or are you going to go, "WAAAAHHHH!!! NONONONO I DON'T WANNA!!!1!" for the 47th time?

[addy the whore]

Re: why we need to be spanked

I'm positive that I do not need spanked by anyone

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: why we need to be spanked

I don't need a man's permission I am my own person.

You are God's. He has deigned to let you roam this earth for a short time, but make no mistake, He created you for a purpose. Perhaps if you read the Holy Bible you would begin to understand that spanking isn't a matter of holding a woman down, but lifting her up.



Christian Domestic Discipline

Submitting to my husband and learning to respect him, as God said for wives to do (Eph. 5:22-24 for one example), strengthened my marriage, and maybe even saved it from disaster. I love my husband. I'm thankful that God pointed out to me His design for marriage, because I had somehow overlooked those verses before.

It's not easy though, to submit to my husband, especially without there being a consequence for disrespect or hurtful words and actions. If I keep it up, then I run the risk of "tearing down my house with my own hands" like a fool (Proverbs 14:1). I do keep praying and trying, but I have to stay very aware of the issue, or I slip into disrespect again. Given the choice between my husband shutting me out (which is what he sometimes does now) and eventually leaving me, or turning me over his knee and spanking my rear end, causing it to sting and me to cry... I'll take the spanking any day of the week. I would prefer it. To me, it's an active intervention to say, "You will NOT jeopardize our love and our marriage with reckless words."