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Fellow Gals in His Holy Name on this Oh So Holy of Days, Praise Him!
I try to lead a morally righteous and sincere life, sharing His Holy Word with my family, friends, and neighbors, and witnessing to the souls of the lost men at the truck stop across the highway (I don't bother with the lady truckers -- and I use that term VERY loosely -- since they are all a pack of harlots and lesbians marked for eternal damnation in the fiery lakes of Hell). However, from time to time, I'm ashamed to say, I step off the patch of righteousness and into the local Rite-Aid in the name of the sin of pride. It is a woman's fault, as many of you know my Sisters!
While God was generous in his blessings as to my "outer beauty" in almost all respects -- blessing me with a particularly fine head of hair -- he was not as giving when it came down to my fingernails. I must say, they are downright ugly, and, when compared to the rest of me, are like a giant scratch on an otherwise beautiful porcelein vase. To fix this problem, I indulge myself with Lee Press-On Nails bought at the Rite Aid over in Tyler. But now I am so conflicted! What would Jesus say about Lee Press-On Nails? I have gotten down on my well-worn knees and asked him to tell me but got only silence over the sound of air-breaks across the highway. Ladies, what is your view? Are all colors allowed (I never wear turquoise color or bright orange like the nigras do!)? How about length -- is 2 inches okay -- the Bible doesn't say! What about glitter, or little painted unicorns?
Please let me know, my dear sisters! Give my tormented soul some peace!
I try to lead a morally righteous and sincere life, sharing His Holy Word with my family, friends, and neighbors, and witnessing to the souls of the lost men at the truck stop across the highway (I don't bother with the lady truckers -- and I use that term VERY loosely -- since they are all a pack of harlots and lesbians marked for eternal damnation in the fiery lakes of Hell). However, from time to time, I'm ashamed to say, I step off the patch of righteousness and into the local Rite-Aid in the name of the sin of pride. It is a woman's fault, as many of you know my Sisters!
While God was generous in his blessings as to my "outer beauty" in almost all respects -- blessing me with a particularly fine head of hair -- he was not as giving when it came down to my fingernails. I must say, they are downright ugly, and, when compared to the rest of me, are like a giant scratch on an otherwise beautiful porcelein vase. To fix this problem, I indulge myself with Lee Press-On Nails bought at the Rite Aid over in Tyler. But now I am so conflicted! What would Jesus say about Lee Press-On Nails? I have gotten down on my well-worn knees and asked him to tell me but got only silence over the sound of air-breaks across the highway. Ladies, what is your view? Are all colors allowed (I never wear turquoise color or bright orange like the nigras do!)? How about length -- is 2 inches okay -- the Bible doesn't say! What about glitter, or little painted unicorns?
Please let me know, my dear sisters! Give my tormented soul some peace!
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