X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Naomi Ruth Lamb
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2013
    • 999

    #1

    Horror at the Bake Sale

    1 Samuel 8:13 And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers. Our Lord was surely displeased today. Our church had a combination bake sale/witnessing for Jesus extravaganza at the local union hall this evening. We sold $450 in pies, cookies, cakes, and brownies and brought 14 souls to our Lord Jesus. However, at one point, a woman dressed in a very short skirt with a blouse cut so low you could see her lady-pillows entered, along with 2 young women that were likely her daughters. Sister Myra Jean overheard the harlot laugh about not knowing how to bake and that she would never teach her daughters how to cook, sew, or clean. Her words: That is why we have maids. Betty Crocker probably turned over in her kitchen/grave at that, but then this woman said, What is the difference between the lemon meringue pie and the lemon cream pie? Well, let me tell you, I went over to the woman and said Wait a darn minute. You don't know the difference between a cream pie and a meringue? I apologize to Jesus and this forum for my foul language, but that was like spitting in the face of the Savior in my opinion. While I was speaking to her, one of the sisters of the church took her daughters to the back and convinced them that they were hell bound sinning floozies and they gave their hearts to Jesus. Glory to God! However, it just shows you the horrors that abound in this world of depravity and sin when a woman can't tell a meringue from a cream pie. I almost thought she was joking. I am sure satan will have her baking one day - but it will not be a pie, but herself that bakes on the coals of hell.
    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
    Locations in 50 States and Canada
    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
  • Wandering Minstrel
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Sep 2013
    • 57

    #2
    Re: Horror at the Bake Sale

    All females should be taught to prepare pies and cakes
    Every man would be blessed having a woman who bakes
    Preparing a man's breakfast, lunch and dinner
    Keeps a lass too busy to become a sinner,
    and ladies busy cleaning and scrubbing the floors
    are far less likely to become sinful whores
    If she can change a baby's diapers and keep the dishes clean
    she will surely find a man and be wed by fifteen.
    ...and a joyful tear will be shed from her father's eye
    'cause a girl is completely worthless without the help of a guy!

    Comment

    • VictoryOS
      True Christian™ Beauty Queen
       
      • Dec 2007
      • 5388

      #3
      Re: Horror at the Bake Sale

      My poor dear Sister Naomi! What a miserable day you must have had. Normally I'd give a scornful look for such strong language, but in this case it was necessary. Hellbound trash don't understand what you're saying unless you use their foul language.

      Stay strong in the Lord, Sister!
      Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
      in 2016

      Comment

      • SallyHackman
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
        • Dec 2013
        • 20

        #4
        Re: Horror at the Bake Sale

        On the bright side you raised a lot of money for the Lord

        Comment

        Working...