Big News and A Request for Advice

[Esther B.]

Guess what! My father has given Andrew permission to court me!

I'm excited, but I'm a little nervous but I don't know what to expect. Andrew told me that he'd like to keep trying my pies so he can see what other ones I'm good at. He also wants me to start bringing food to his house on certain days so he can see if I'm a good enough cook. My father is going to set up a few evening Skype calls with him so he (Andrew) can watch me wash dishes and sew things so he can see if I'm a good housekeeper.

Does anyone have any advice for me about courtship? As you can probably see, I have no experience with it.

I'll give you more updates when there are any.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Congratulations. Who is your chaperone?

[Esther B.]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Thank you! We're still trying to figure that out. There's a chance that Andrew's grandmother might be our chaperone because she had 9 children and chaperoned all of them during their various courtships.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Personally, I would use your brother, given that you have one. I know that you young ones like to stay out late, and you don't really want grandma falling asleep - you never know what bad thoughts Andrew might have!

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Miss Esther B,

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! I have just started the courtship process and hope to imitate all that you will do in your process as you seem like a lovely lady from what I have seen on the forums. In all of your words ans actions it seems like you do well at Proverbs 31:26.

God bless!
Elizabeth

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

One good trick, is that if you're walking past a jewellery shop, stop and look at the engagement rings in the window. Ask him which ones he likes. This gets his thoughts on to the matter of asking your father for your hand. (Make sure at some stage you drop the size of your ring finger into the conversation) If there's one there that really takes your fancy, let him know that (but subtly of course - you don't want to appear that you have a feminazi opinion on anything). Also, if you pass a wedding dress shop, linger just a little, with that longing look in your eyes.


And how do you know if he's the man of your dreams? You will feel Jesus stirring down there, below your womb. It's a strange feeling that you've never had before. It's nothing to worry about, it's just Jesus getting your lady bits ready for your man and Jesus telling you that this is indeed the man for you. (I hope no men are reading this, but there's a pimply bit down there in your lady bits called the 'Jesus bump' that will start tingling. You'll also feel Jesus' wet tears of joy in your lady bits. Jesus is telling you he approves and is getting you ready to have your little Soldiers for Christ) It's so exciting, isn't it!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Darling Esther,

I give the glory to God for your beau successfully asking your father to court you! I can only envision your face when you heard this wondrous news. I felt the Holy Ghost all over me as I read your post, Praise God!

I believe the most important thing to do during courtship is to follow the advice of our Lord in Philippians 4:8. If you take the Heavenly Father's Words to heart, I cannot help but think your time with your fellow will be approved by God and blessed by your parents.

I would also advise against taking a laxative. One never knows when they will finally work.

Always remember to hint about where you want to go and never ever make the decision yourself. If he chooses something that you find unpleasant, pretend to love it nevertheless! It is your place only to submit to the wishes of your man and never to question his choices. That does not stop you from hinting, as I said - and if he's an intelligent man, eventually he will pick up on your clues. Do bear in mind that your chaperone will have to also enjoy the date. Is there any reason why your dates at first will be anywhere but church? If so, your parents will no doubt already be there and no chaperone would be necessary unless you went somewhere afterward. I would be remiss if I didn't say this: God Himself is always going to be your chaperone; all the more reason to remember the directive found in Philippians!

Dear, I would LOVE to offer the use of my kitchens at any time; I am also happy to help you with pie making. I have several ingredients at Naomi's Moist Pie that you will not find easily elsewhere.

Again, my congratulations, darling! Your budding relationship shall be in my prayers nightly!

Always,
NRL
PS: Mother and Father wanted me to pass along their love and to let you know they are so thrilled for you. Father asked if your beau has a brother interested in someone 24 years of age! They just never give up.

[Mary Thompson]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Congratulations! Courtship is the first step towards a Godly life of Motherhood and Wifehood and getting Soldiers for Christ into this world to spread The Holy Word (tm).
Make sure you get Pastor Ezekiel to help with some prayers before your first outing with this man you are courting. Though it must be in a private place and you must be blindfolded and focus only on what you are praying and your love for Jesus, and ignore anything happening around you. I have had such prayor sessions with Pastor Zeke. When I stopped praying, my clothing was torn and Pastor Zeke had left, but he had left a note saying that it was a productive session and he had helped God further reach my soul.
Wear modest clothing that won't show your shoes or your neck. To do so is revealing. Never initiate conversation, to do so is assertive and implying that you are Andrew's equal. A definite no-no.
I'll pray that you have a successful courtship and that all goes well,
Mary Thompson.

[Esther B.]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Thank you for your prayers, everyone!

Unfortunately, I do not have a brother. I apologize for not posting sooner, but Andrew's grandmother had a little mishap and broke her hip over the weekend and as her possible future granddaughter-in-law, I had to visit her and take care of her for a few hours. Andrew doesn't have any brothers, so it now seems like either his mother or his married older sister will have to chaperone.

We aren't engaged yet, but Andrew says that if we do end up getting engaged, it will be a long engagement which, in his words, "will be just like Pastor Ezekiel's". I found out on Saturday that Andrew greatly admires (in a completely heterosexual way, of course) Pastor Ezekiel.

I'll let you know if anything important happens.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

That is not good, Sister Esther I would be discussing this situation with Sister Daisy Mae, if I were you.
At least you're not engaged yet, and therefore not promised to him. Maybe you could ask your father if you may date another young man? You don't want to be damned to Hell for never bearing sons.

[Esther B.]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

I will admit that I had to bite my tongue when Andrew told me about how our engagement would be long if it ends up happening. I'm 22 years old and an engagement as long as Pastor Ezekiel's and Ms. Johnson's will be a waste of time that could be better spent getting married and bearing sons. I considered talking to my father about it, but I didn't think that it would be appropriate. Am I correct? Is there some way to go about breaking off the engagement so I'm not wasting some of my prime childbearing years?

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Wait a minute. I didn't think you were engaged yet. If not, there's no engagement to break. Yes. Talk to your father about it. I'm sure he'll understand that you want to give him grandchildren which will be Soldiers for Christ. I'm also sure that he'll give Andrew a good talking to and tell him he thinks of him. And find you another young man to date.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Esther,

I would love to meet Andrew sometime. Why not arrange for your father to have him over and I will drop by to get an idea of his intentions? It will all appear innocent enough and yet you'll know for sure what you should do once I am finished. You do NOT want to put up with a Zeke/Daisy relationship. No matter how pure and chaste their love is, life is too short to wait until you're 90 to find out what Andrew's true motives are. So please, let me help you. I can bring my pie and give Andrew a sample!

I am pleased to report that I might have a special announcement of my own shortly! I won't go into that right now - since so much is uncertain.

Your friend,
NRL

[Esther B.]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Thank you, Mother of Seven for your suggestion!

Thank you for the offer, Naomi, but that won't be necessary. I can't wait to hear your news!

I told my father about my concerns on Friday night and he said he'd talk to Andrew when he was supposed to stop by for a visit last night. Much to our surprise, Andrew called yesterday afternoon and told us that he was going to cancel his visit and break off our (his and my) courtship because he found someone else. Apparently she's blonde, 18 years old, and has wider hips than I do. I'm disappointed, but I feel like it was part of God's plan. I'm trying to tell myself that it's for the better because I no longer have to worry about possibly wasting some of my childbearing years, but it's really hard.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can get over Andrew?

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Big News and A Request for Advice

Well, Esther, you must admit that if she has wider hips than yours, she is a prize - but I know that doesn't heal the hurt his decision must have caused you. Know that Christ Himself is holding you in His Hand and that He has a PLAN FOR YOU! (Jeremiah 11:29)

The first recommendation for getting over this man is to realize that he was not part of God's intentions for you! Jesus wants you to have someone that will love you regardless of hip size! In the animal world, certain species naturally go toward a particular coloration, sound, or other visual/verbal cue to find a mate. We do not need such cues, since God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7) and so should we.

The second recommendation I have depends on whether or not you have some goat's hair handy. Do you? If not, disregard. if you do: Exodus 35:26. I often spin goat's hair that I have imported from Scotland, since Iowa goats tend to be all matted and smelly.

Next: Ask your father if you can join Christian Mingle! There are many Christian fellows on that site - some of whom are not the most fair of face, but again, we must look at the heart - and I am sure one of them could be God's choice for you! Beware! Since my profile was posted there, I have had responses that asked me to kiss on the first date, hold hands without a chaperone nearby; one even asked me if I would send him a photo of myself wearing a dress that did not cover the calves of my legs! I was so appalled. I was also surprised to learn that some Christian men do not want sons and some take part in odd activities called "La Crosse" and "Curling."

As for my news - well, let's see what happens after Wednesday evening, and I may share it with you privately!

Stay strong, sister! You are a lovely woman and God has a very special mate in mind for you. Or He may want you to be an old maid. Glory!