[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

Miss Cassandra, I'm glad that they finally caught you and put you in jail, where you belong! No more eating Christian babies for you!

My Left Shoe is sad to see its Alternative Religions cabinet member locked up, and promises to kick down the door of your cell as soon as it is elected Mayor!

My Left Shoe is very impressed at how you've continued to pretend to support Al King, even after he framed you.

You're by far the best "plant" My Left Shoe has ever worked with! Are you waiting until the day before the election to throw your support to Shoe visibly? Or are you building your case against Al King so you can completely destroy him?

[C. Reconstruction]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

That is the mens maximum security prison, are you sure this slut should be there ?

Mitchellville, which is the lesbian prison, would be more appropriate.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

That is the mens maximum security prison, are you sure this slut should be there ?

Mitchellville, which is the lesbian prison, would be more appropriate.

If she went to the men's maximum security prison, she could finally be useful for something!



OW! My Right Shoe kicked me!

(Yes, I meant My Right Shoe. My Left Shoe is campaigning in Freehold.)

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

I have spoken with a pal who works in the lab where the herbs from the Johnson home were brought to for analysis. He was pretty sure it is pot and will mark the report accordingly. I suggested burning it all to prevent it from falling in the wrong hands.

That's pretty stupid, Jimmy mr. Hutchins. Burning the very evidence you need to get me convicted in court isn't the smartest thing to do.

Face it Cassie, the jig is up. Upstanding citizens, who do not know you at all, are convinced of your criminality.

Oh, but they were convinced already before all this happened. They are also convinced that the earth is flat, so who cares?

I also hear there is a bunk with your name on it at Iowa State Penitentiary in Ft. Madison. I've spoken to a few of the guards to arrange to make you feel right at home.

• Maximum security
• 319-372-5432
• 510 Staff
• 950 Inmates ±

The Iowa State Penitentiary was established in 1839, the year after Iowa became a territory and seven years before it became a state. The Penitentiary was patterned after the Auburn, New York Penitentiary - a prison within a prison, a cell for each convict. The Penitentiary underwent extensive renovation of its cell houses when “unitization” was introduced in 1982. Unitization divided large cell houses into smaller, self-contained living units that are more easily managed. The Penitentiary is the state’s only maximum-security institution, housing repeat and violent male offenders. The Penitentiary complex includes ISP itself with a court-ordered capacity of 550. In addition, the complex includes the John Bennett Correctional Center, a medium security dormitory adjacent to the Penitentiary currently housing 169 inmates; two minimum security farms located within a few miles of Fort Madison with a combined population of 170, and a ten-bed multiple care unit. A Special Needs Unit for inmates with severe mental health/clinical care needs opened in August, 2002, with 40 inmates and will increase in stages to a population of 120 inmates. Inmates at the Penitentiary are offered Adult Basic Education and General Education Development classes, special education for eligible individuals, as well as vocational training in upholstering, commercial cooking, auto mechanics, machining, and printing, as well as providing labor for a large crop farm and a cattle and swine operation. Work opportunities with hourly wages are available in Iowa Prison Industries shops at the Penitentiary. A six-month substance abuse program is offered to inmates with drug or alcohol problems, and Alcoholics Anonymous groups operate at the Penitentiary and the John Bennett Center.

I think you'll fit right in:

Oh, yes, the cops here at Freehold told me about this. However, they also keep going on and on about Guantanamo Bay, so I'm not inclined to worry too much about that. The only problem I have is that I possibly will not be allowed to vote. I'll have to ask mrs. King how issues like this are arranged legally. As far as I know, as long as I'm not convicted, I'm allowed to vote, even though I'm in custody by the police.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

Miss Cassandra I hope you are resting well. I have heard that the noise in jail can be very loud. The screams of passion pain, leather slapping skin, the slurping sounds from eating er uh soup. And that was just from your cell. I bet it real bad when you get all 15 cells going at once.

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

Miss Cassandra I hope you are resting well. I have heard that the noise in jail can be very loud. The screams of passion pain, leather slapping skin, the slurping sounds from eating er uh soup. And that was just from your cell. I bet it real bad when you get all 15 cells going at once.

Don't worry, I'm used to that. After all, I've been raised in a true christian household. The things I'm experiencing here pale in comparison to what I've experienced in my childhood.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

Oh, yes, the cops here at Freehold told me about this. However, they also keep going on and on about Guantanamo Bay, so I'm not inclined to worry too much about that. The only problem I have is that I possibly will not be allowed to vote. I'll have to ask mrs. King how issues like this are arranged legally. As far as I know, as long as I'm not convicted, I'm allowed to vote, even though I'm in custody by the police.

Did you by chance apply for the absentee ballot 7 days ago? If not I am soooo very sorry, you have to vote in person! I really do not see the Police taking you to vote.
Say how do you like the county orange jump suits

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

Did you by chance apply for the absentee ballot 7 days ago? If not I am soooo very sorry, you have to vote in person! I really do not see the Police taking you to vote.
Say how do you like the county orange jump suits

We're working on it. However, the majority supporting mr. King is so large, that it likely doesn't really matter.

[Nobar King]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

Mr. King is so large, that it likely doesn't really matter.

Lalalalalalalalalamore.than.I.need.to.knowLalalala lalalalala

[James Hutchins]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

Mr. Dewitt is right about the absentee ballot. Seven days prior to today, a request must of been filed.
And you are right about being able to vote as you most certainly are innocent until convicted by your peers. Thing is, I do not think you'll be out of the poky to visit a polling place.
By the way, I heard Zeke, Rev. Jim, Cranky, Bobby-Joe all got served with jury duty notices.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

We're working on it. However, the majority supporting mr. King is so large, that it likely doesn't really matter.

You are assuming they actually go to the proper voting place, have the correct proof of identification amoung other requirements. I have seen empty head women often stand in the wrong line for hours. Always good for a giggle.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

I talked to officer Don a few minutes ago, he is keeping me up to date with your case.
Man that's some tough news Cassandra, the plants and contents of the bags found at your home tested positive for THC, seems it was some high grade marijuana. From what I hear you are staring down the possibility of 25yrs in prison. Possession with intent to deliver within 1000 yards of a school or Church. Its a real shame that the city can take your home , after all it was used to commit a felony.

I think that you might want to consider a plea deal. I bet if you ask real nice, Rev Jim or Pastor Ezekiel might offer to sponsor you for house arrest. It would give you some time to reflect your sins and get right with Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

I've got room in my basement.

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

I talked to officer Don a few minutes ago, he is keeping me up to date with your case.
Man that's some tough news Cassandra, the plants and contents of the bags found at your home tested positive for THC, seems it was some high grade marijuana. From what I hear you are staring down the possibility of 25yrs in prison. Possession with intent to deliver within 1000 yards of a school or Church. Its a real shame that the city can take your home , after all it was used to commit a felony.

That's because the people testing this stuff are "professionals" from the Landover University. It seems that their test consists of throwing things into the water: if they do not sink, then it means they must be possessed by demons. The same way they used to test witches. That's because they do not believe in gravity. As these sacks certainly didn't sink, they must havew been possessed by demons, like marijuana is. I would like to hear these reasearchers explain that in High Court, however.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Statement from Miss Cassandra: Landover's attempt to silence

That's because the people testing this stuff are "professionals" from the Landover University. It seems that their test consists of throwing things into the water: if they do not sink, then it means they must be possessed by demons. The same way they used to test witches. That's because they do not believe in gravity. As these sacks certainly didn't sink, they must havew been possessed by demons, like marijuana is. I would like to hear these reasearchers explain that in High Court, however.

The testers are not the ones being convictedtried here, Missy! You are.
These fine men are trained professionals. They are all True Christians(tm) and as such, follow Biblical procedures to a "T". Based on your comment above, it appears you are admitting your guilt as you knew what the results of the test would be.
I cannot believe you put Mrs. Johnson's home at risk. She will be homeless and as such, will have to locate a new place to stay. I hate the idea of giving her a one way bus ticket to San Diego with a note pinned to her lapel. Fortunately, Cranky Old Man has graciously offered to pay for the ticket.