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Two New Naval Vessels
USS Ronald Reagan
Seeing her next to the Arizona Memorial really puts her size into perspective. Remember that the commemorative bridge lies athwart the battleship. Note the respect Reagan's crew gives Arizona while passing her memorial. When the Bridge pipes "Man the Rail," there is a lot of rail to man -- shoulder to shoulder about 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.
USS REAGAN PASSING THE ARIZONA MEMORIAL
Size
US Navy welcomes USS Bill Clinton
Sunday July 2nd '06 Vancouver, BC, Headed for Seattle, WA.
The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.
USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one unarmed F14 Tomcat or one unarmed F18 Hornet which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100-foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.
An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless. It is rumored that translators are working on a CD of offers to surrender in multiple languages. The Navy advises that all apologies and offers to surrender will sound very sincere.
The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense. Instead, in times of conflict, USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation and whatever other worthless jobs the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.
It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World."
The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J. Clinton when someone realized USS Blowfish was already taken.
USS Ronald Reagan
Seeing her next to the Arizona Memorial really puts her size into perspective. Remember that the commemorative bridge lies athwart the battleship. Note the respect Reagan's crew gives Arizona while passing her memorial. When the Bridge pipes "Man the Rail," there is a lot of rail to man -- shoulder to shoulder about 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.
USS REAGAN PASSING THE ARIZONA MEMORIAL
Size
- Towers 20 stories above the waterline
- 1,092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
- Flight deck is 4.5 acres
- 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
- 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
- 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each more than 4,000 square feet
- Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling
- Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
- Carries more than 80 combat aircraft
- Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet
US Navy welcomes USS Bill Clinton
Sunday July 2nd '06 Vancouver, BC, Headed for Seattle, WA.
The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.
USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one unarmed F14 Tomcat or one unarmed F18 Hornet which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100-foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.
An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless. It is rumored that translators are working on a CD of offers to surrender in multiple languages. The Navy advises that all apologies and offers to surrender will sound very sincere.
The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense. Instead, in times of conflict, USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation and whatever other worthless jobs the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.
It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World."
The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J. Clinton when someone realized USS Blowfish was already taken.
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