X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

    There's no record of Jesus popping that Bubble Wrap, and neither should you - it might contain air from China.

    The "climate change" nutbags might object, but burn that Bubble Wrap and save the life of you and your neighbors.
    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
    sigpic

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

      As it is, I'm now one of the recent coronavirus victims sadly . A bit of context, I was called away on a mission to spread the Good News to Asian Schools, and as part of the care package cruise offered as gift from the ministry, the boat has become infested, and I couldn't escape!

      I'm writing this the ship's Deck M Emergency Diagnostics, Quarantine and Morgue Ward. This virus is horrible. I make these awful wheezing sounds, it feels like glass going up and down my trachea from every breath, and there's this nasty, watery sting in my right eye that's make it all purple and swollen. Naturally, I'm praying for my own recovery, but if you would too, I could use everyone's prayers so that God might let me survive this horrible pestilence, He must have more cause for me yet, right?

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

        Originally posted by phucker67 View Post
        As it is, I'm now one of the recent coronavirus victims sadly .
        Oh, quit your whining. Sure, it hurts when you pee now - that happens to all white men who visit Asia. Something about the minerals in the water.
        Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
        Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
        Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

          Just saying Jeb, it will be nice to be served something other than apple sauce soon.

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

            I see that the plague has now been named Corvid19. Corvid666 would be closer to the Truth - although, frankly, naming things only encourages them. See under "gender".

            The President has wisely pointed out that this virus will die as soon as the weather warms up and reaches the heat and humidity levels of, say, Singapore and Bangkok. So there is nothing to worry about. But in the meantime there is panic among the Godless where I live, because there are storms and icy winds blowing towards us from Brighton, that hotbed of the Corvid virus (and homers) on the southern coast of England. It is only about 75 miles, as the plague flies.


            People are staying indoors with their windows closed, and will probably die from airborne cat-faeces-related ailments. I suppose one should pray for them - why is it so hard to convince myself to do so? Romans 1:22, I suppose.
            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

              Originally posted by phucker67 View Post
              As it is, I'm now one of the recent coronavirus victims sadly . A bit of context, I was called away on a mission to spread the Good News to Asian Schools, and as part of the care package cruise offered as gift from the ministry, the boat has become infested, and I couldn't escape!

              I'm writing this the ship's Deck M Emergency Diagnostics, Quarantine and Morgue Ward. This virus is horrible. I make these awful wheezing sounds, it feels like glass going up and down my trachea from every breath, and there's this nasty, watery sting in my right eye that's make it all purple and swollen. Naturally, I'm praying for my own recovery, but if you would too, I could use everyone's prayers so that God might let me survive this horrible pestilence, He must have more cause for me yet, right?
              Oh, my; how terribly sorry I am to learn of this, dear Mr. Hucker. This is something that nobody should have to endure; well, not unless they are blatant sinners (and we know that this does not pertain to you.) I shall remember you in my prayers, Dear, and we shall see the work wonders for your complete recovery. And, as our beloved Sister Joanna has so kindly pointed out, our -sent President Trump knows that the virus situation will be over, once the nicer weather arrives.



              But, until then, might you get relief by gargling with some of your wife's lovely raspberry vignette?
              (Mrs.) Isabella White

              Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the Blood of Jesus"

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                Originally posted by phucker67 View Post
                Just saying Jeb, it will be nice to be served something other than apple sauce soon.

                Best get your affairs in order Mr. Hucker and you should include getting right with Jesus right at the top of the list. If you have the virus God sent to ravage the ranks of the wicked, I expect you have some explaining to do. I imagine you will die soon and have an opportunity to make an accounting in person, but it is always a good idea to be orderly about the process.
                God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                  Originally posted by Isabella White View Post
                  Oh, my; how terribly sorry I am to learn of this, dear Mr. Hucker. This is something that nobody should have to endure; well, not unless they are blatant sinners (and we know that this does not pertain to you.) I shall remember you in my prayers, Dear, and we shall see the work wonders for your complete recovery. And, as our beloved Sister Joanna has so kindly pointed out, our -sent President Trump knows that the virus situation will be over, once the nicer weather arrives.



                  But, until then, might you get relief by gargling with some of your wife's lovely raspberry vignette?


                  Thank you gentle Mrs. White, I appreciate you recognize I am a man of God and not a blatant sinner, though sin finds its way to me by circumstance at times - Most recently, you might notice I seem to have accumulated two shiny red points, as red as a raspberry, for a image I posted earlier that was not by wise judgement - you see, here at the Recovery Ward, they've been pumping me with all sorts of questionable pain relief drips, and it's doing funny things to my head That image, which I won't repeat, seemed to speak to me at the time.

                  With luck by next week, I will be relocated to the Outbound Patient Station, formerly the ship's laundry room where I will recover from corona in a jiffy .

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                    Originally posted by phucker67 View Post

                    With luck by next week, I will be relocated to the Outbound Patient Station, formerly the ship's laundry room where I will recover from corona in a jiffy .
                    Apparently you are aboard the Diamond Princess. The Captain has requested dock access in several countries. All have refused your diseased vessel. It may be you will remain on board for the rest of your life.

                    Now would be a good time to repent for whatever sins you are being punished for. Did you REALLY try to convert those yellow people or did you just go through some motions?

                    Over 5,000 passengers on two cruise ships in Asia were ordered into quarantine as the death toll from the coronavirus reached 490 on Wednesday.
                    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                      Did you REALLY try to convert those yellow people or did you just go through some motions?


                      I got detained by a bunch of ugly transvestites, and my attempts to minister to them, I believe, is what brought me this cumbersome virus. Next time, I'll try not actually putting my hands on them.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                        Why would New York City, a city of debauchery, not have a case of the corona virus, is it a coverup?
                        Yours in Christ,

                        Cage

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                          Originally posted by caged4christ View Post
                          Why would New York City, a city of debauchery, not have a case of the corona virus, is it a coverup?
                          He already gave them 9/11.



                          God may be vengeful, but He's not a jerk.
                          Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
                          Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
                          Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                            Originally posted by phucker67 View Post
                            As it is, I'm now one of the recent coronavirus victims sadly...
                            I'm writing this the ship's Deck M Emergency Diagnostics, Quarantine and Morgue Ward. This virus is horrible. I make these awful wheezing sounds, it feels like glass going up and down my trachea from every breath... etc.etc.
                            Mr Hucker, if by some chance you happen to recover from this (which is obviously not guaranteed, what with you being technically UnSaved at this time), does that make you immune to re-infection? If so, you could spend the next couple of years ministering to the afflicted in China, delivering Big Macs and KFC to their doors and so forth. I am sure (up to a point) that Jesus would look kindly on you for this.
                            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                              Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                              delivering Big Macs and KFC
                              KFC? Kweichow Fried Condor?
                              Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
                              Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
                              Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: God Sends Corona Virus Plague to Ravage the Heathen Chinamen

                                Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                                I see that the plague has now been named Corvid19.
                                Sounds like a new-wave electronica ensemble. Whoever names the "diseases" certainly has off days! From catchy sounding
                                • Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and
                                • Oriental Tsutsugamushi

                                to the resonant and all 'round excellent sounding
                                • Bubonic Plague
                                  • excellent in the sense that you can tell just from the name you don't want to be smitten with such maladies

                                ..and then they come up with
                                • Corvid19

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X