[Brother Temperance]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Perhaps....DNA extraction....Cloning?

Hello Dolly?

(just a thought)


But what if the relic is bogus? What if the result is
just another joo?




THIS is why men must not play God!
God will not be played!

You're not the first one to come up with such an idea. In the 1990s, a sinful Englishman came up with the idea of extracting Jesus' DNA with the aim of selling it to the Japs so that Sony could produce a whole range of convenient micro-Christs. Now, he's dead. What does that teach you?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

You're not the first one to come up with such an idea. In the 1990s, a sinful Englishman came up with the idea of extracting Jesus' DNA with the aim of selling it to the Japs so that Sony could produce a whole range of convenient micro-Christs. Now, he's dead. What does that teach you?

Little known fact, Brothers; the cursed japs did actually bring this robot-clone to market. but due to the fact that the slants are so hopelessly lost to hear His Word, even the "God-Jesus Cyborg" failed to sell.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Little known fact, Brothers; the cursed japs did actually bring this robot-clone to market. but due to the fact that the slants are so hopelessly lost to hear His Word, even the "God-Jesus Cyborg" failed to sell.

Hmm, and I wonder whyever that could be.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Hmm, and I wonder whyever that could be.

Because Jappos are evil and hate God?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Give me a break.
It's in English, many people there wouldn't even understand what it said, the same way as most people in english speaking countries wouldn't understand what was written on a Japanese product. I don't know what's actually written on packets I buy of asian food. It could say 'all hail the great marshmallow' for all I know.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Give me a break.
It's in English, many people there wouldn't even understand what it said, the same way as most people in english speaking countries wouldn't understand what was written on a Japanese product. I don't know what's actually written on packets I buy of asian food. It could say 'all hail the great marshmallow' for all I know.

I can help you with that, Ms. VinDecency. The DOF has translated hundreds of those packets of chink food, and most of them say something to the effect that "by ingesting this product, the ingestor agrees to reliquish all rights to possession of their soul, and offers it unto satan". So think about that next time you slurp down some eel guts.

I stick with Godly food such as barbequed pork and rabbit casserole.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

But I don't eat eel guts, Zeke. I much prefer a nice potroast, or perhaps a nice flame-grilled porterhouse steak, and those don't come in those little packets.

What I do like, though, is sushi (though not fish guts) and the noodles, that DO come in those little packets. But, even if they did say that, according to you I would have relinquished my soul to Satan a long time ago so eh, might as well enjoy my Udon noodles.

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

WHAT THE ****?!? I would like to state on behalf of the Catholic Church and her members, that said "relic" is not believed to be real by the Church or any of its sane members. Also, even if it was, WHO WOULD WANT THAT?!?

My guess is that the 'relic' probably 'vanished' as soon as someone asked it be submitted for DNA testing.

What would the DNA be tested against? Jesus has no living relatives and I'm pretty sure it'll be hard to get some hair or saliva from a man/God whose body has ascended into Heaven.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

WHAT THE ****?!? I would like to state on behalf of the Catholic Church and her members, that said "relic" is not believed to be real by the Church or any of its sane members. Also, even if it was, WHO WOULD WANT THAT?!?

The Catholic Church has sane members? This is news to all of us, I think.

What would the DNA be tested against? Jesus has no living relatives and I'm pretty sure it'll be hard to get some hair or saliva from a man/God whose body has ascended into Heaven.

Actually, there are plenty of lunatics who believe that Jesus does have living descendents, the result of His having fornicated with His disciple Mary Magdalene. Hellywood liberals even made a movie about it and racked up more than $200 million dollars by spitting in the face of God. There are some sick, sick people in this world.

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

The Catholic Church has sane members? This is news to all of us, I think.

Yes, quite a few actually. You can't believe everything the media tells you. They want money, which does not always equate truth.

Actually, there are plenty of lunatics who believe that Jesus does have living descendents, the result of His having fornicated with His disciple Mary Magdalene. Hellywood liberals even made a movie about it and racked up more than $200 million dollars by spitting in the face of God. There are some sick, sick people in this world.

The whole movie was a work of fiction. It was a novel. It was not intended to be factual or to start a new religion/heresy. It's a slightly interesting storyline, but what it boils down to is that it's a false piece of literature. People who believe in that are just gullible idiots.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

The whole movie was a work of fiction. It was a novel. It was not intended to be factual or to start a new religion/heresy. It's a slightly interesting storyline, but what it boils down to is that it's a false piece of literature. People who believe in that are just gullible idiots.

Of course they are, and yet people who believe in the bible are the epitome of smart? <insert sarcasm>

Sorry to tell you, but the official standpoint of the catholic church is that the earth is flat.

The DV code story itself is fiction, yes, but the parts on Constantine and what he did for the bible and xtianity, as well as those ignored gospels....that's true.

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Of course they are, and yet people who believe in the bible are the epitome of smart? <insert sarcasm>

Sorry to tell you, but the official standpoint of the catholic church is that the earth is flat.

The DV code story itself is fiction, yes, but the parts on Constantine and what he did for the bible and xtianity, as well as those ignored gospels....that's true.

The Church does not believe the Earth is flat. My mother teaches the religion. I might know a thing or two about the religion. We also believe in evolution, save for some crazy select few.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

WHAT THE ****?!? I would like to state on behalf of the Catholic Church and her members, that said "relic" is not believed to be real by the Church or any of its sane members. Also, even if it was, WHO WOULD WANT THAT?!?

Unless you are Pope Penis Ratsinger you have no authority to speak for the Church of Pedophiles. The story is true and everyone knows it.

What would the DNA be tested against? Jesus has no living relatives and I'm pretty sure it'll be hard to get some hair or saliva from a man/God whose body has ascended into Heaven.

Who told you that JESUS has no living relatives? And what of it? JESUS HIMSELF IS ALIVE, you disgusting sodomite!!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

The Church does not believe the Earth is flat. My mother teaches the religion. I might know a thing or two about the religion. We also believe in evolution, save for some crazy select few.

Because your mom *has to* be the world authority, right? <insert sarcasm>
I'm talking about the official standpoint of the pope, who represents the church, not just your opinion.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

My mother teaches the religion.

BUT I SUFFER NOT A WOMAN TO TEACH, NOR TO USURP AUTHORITY OVER THE MAN, BUT TO BE IN SILENCE.
1 TIMOTHY 2:12