[OnYourKnees]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

The Church does not believe the Earth is flat. My mother teaches the religion. I might know a thing or two about the religion. We also believe in evolution, save for some crazy select few.

So your mother is a nun? What other woman would be teaching Catholicism? Does that mean you're a bastard?

And the Pope now supports evilution?

Or are you saying the Pope and all of the Vatican -- you know, the leaders of your so-called "church" -- are among the "crazy select few"?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

The Church does not believe the Earth is flat.

The "church", which is Satan and run by the 'pope' who is the antichrist, has been wrong from the start. Read this, you fool: http://www.bibletopics.com/biblestudy/71.htm

My mother teaches the religion.

Women can't teach religion. Read the Bible.

I might know a thing or two about the religion.

You might, but you don't.

We also believe in evolution, save for some crazy select few.

Evilution flatly contradicts Genesis! Which do you believe, the Bible or your mother?

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

It's a SICK thought, however....keeping a baby's foreskin. And I bet it reallyyyy smells after 2000 years....LOL

Of course not. Remember what David wrote:

Psalm 16:10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.

Let me remind you that old King David was an expert on foreskins. He once bought a wife with 200 Philistine foreskins.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

You can't believe everything the media tells you. They want money, which does not always equate truth.

While I'm no great fan of the liberal MSM, I have to point out that what you've said is also an excellent description of the Roman institution.

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Yes, we believe in evolution. No, it does not contradict the Bible. My mother is a member of the laity. She teaches at a Catholic school, not a convent. I know I describe it correctly. 10 years of Catholic school may give you a little bit of knowledge on the religion. I am aware Jesus is alive, but His body is not on Earth. No, the church does not teach that the Earth is flat. If they did, Catholic schools would not have science departments that teach just that. My mother DOES have authority on the subject. She has a college degree in Theology and Philosophy. She literally gets paid to read the Bible.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Yes, we believe in evolution. No, it does not contradict the Bible. My mother is a member of the laity. She teaches at a Catholic school, not a convent. I know I describe it correctly. 10 years of Catholic school may give you a little bit of knowledge on the religion. I am aware Jesus is alive, but His body is not on Earth. No, the church does not teach that the Earth is flat. If they did, Catholic schools would not have science departments that teach just that. My mother DOES have authority on the subject. She has a college degree in Theology and Philosophy. She literally gets paid to read the Bible.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh wow.......as someone who disagrees with the landover baptists and has seen some pretty dumb things they say, that statement I've bolded, I'm sorry, is truly in a class of it's own.
*Wipes eyes*
Sorry, but think about what you just said. No offense, but if you think evolution does not contradict the bible, you haven't read the bible at all.
But please. Do enlighten me as to how you think evolution can possibly coincide with what it says in genesis.

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh wow.......as someone who disagrees with the landover baptists and has seen some pretty dumb things they say, that statement I've bolded, I'm sorry, is truly in a class of it's own.
*Wipes eyes*
Sorry, but think about what you just said. No offense, but if you think evolution does not contradict the bible, you haven't read the bible at all.
But please. Do enlighten me as to how you think evolution can possibly coincide with what it says in genesis.

Check the main board. I have it all written down there.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Six days? What does this mean? Let's dwell on that, shall we? Now, who created the universe? God, of course. Who wrote the Bible? God, of course. So from what vantage point is the story of creation told? God, of course. Now if the top of Mt. Everest represented God and the center of the Earth represented man, the distance would still not be enough. God is infinitely better than us. So, is it possible that He, not being on Earth, does not tell time by Earthly standards? What are billions of years to God? They could be as if they were only six days. The Bible and evolution don't contradict, after all.

How old are you, out of curiosity?
I think I know what's happened here. I don't think you fully understand what evolution actually is.
Now if, as you say, the bible supported evolution, then it would also talk about how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how ape-like creatures evolved into men, and how all life evolved from basic bacteria.
Yet if I'm not mistaken, Genesis states the following:

Genesis 1: 10-27 10And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

11And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
12And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
13And the evening and the morning were the third day.
14And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
15And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
16And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
17And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
18And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
19And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
20And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
21And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
22And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
23And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
25And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Now in any of the above, does it mention anything about species EVOLVING into other species from bacteria etc? No it does not.
If it supported evolution, it would also mention branches of the species which died out, like neanderthal man.

Not to mention this lovely part of the bible:

Revelation 7:1 And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.

Yeah, the bible supports evolution all right. <insert sarcasm>

I'm sorry, but I hope you can see that what you said does appear on the....er....foolish side. No offense.

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

How old are you, out of curiosity?
I think I know what's happened here. I don't think you fully understand what evolution actually is.
Now if, as you say, the bible supported evolution, then it would also talk about how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how ape-like creatures evolved into men, and how all life evolved from basic bacteria.
Yet if I'm not mistaken, Genesis states the following:

Genesis 1: 10-27 10And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
[Shortened quote /PD]

Now in any of the above, does it mention anything about species EVOLVING into other species from bacteria etc? No it does not.
If it supported evolution, it would also mention branches of the species which died out, like neanderthal man.

Not to mention this lovely part of the bible:

Revelation 7:1 And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.

Yeah, the bible supports evolution all right. <insert sarcasm>

I'm sorry, but I hope you can see that what you said does appear on the....er....foolish side. No offense.

Stop looking at this literally. Did you notice that the days progress in the order that evolution occurred? God did make it all, He just did it over a longer amount of time. In regards to the four corners of the Earth statement, it's an expression. It does not literally mean the Earth has four corners. People use the expression all the time today. Also, you need to factor in that these people barely knew much outside of immediately surrounding Asia, Africa, and Europe. To flat out say that the world was round to such a primitive people would be to ensure that everyone thought you to be a lunatic and did not believe anything you said. It would be as if I told you that the world actually exists in four dimensions, but you can't notice it. They would put me in an asylum and discredit everything I've said. In regards to age, I shall be 15 in February.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Stop looking at this literally. Did you notice that the days progress in the order that evolution occurred? God did make it all, He just did it over a longer amount of time. In regards to the four corners of the Earth statement, it's an expression. It does not literally mean the Earth has four corners. People use the expression all the time today. Also, you need to factor in that these people barely knew much outside of immediately surrounding Asia, Africa, and Europe. To flat out say that the world was round to such a primitive people would be to ensure that everyone thought you to be a lunatic and did not believe anything you said. It would be as if I told you that the world actually exists in four dimensions, but you can't notice it. They would put me in an asylum and discredit everything I've said. In regards to age, I shall be 15 in February.

Look, either believe in science or believe in the bible, but to say that evolution is supported by the bible is one of the dumbest claims I've ever heard.
The bible makes NO REFERENCE to species EVOLVING out of other species. That's what evolution is. I don't think you have any idea what evolution actually is or, for that matter, what you're talking about. What you were saying was not talking about evolution, merely timeframes.
And the bible is clearly talking about FOUR CORNERS OF EARTH, not four dimensions.

Face it, the bible and science are clearly incompatible. And you've only made yourself look foolish.

As to your age, I figured as much. I believe you've visited the forum before, haven't you, Kevin?

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Look, either believe in science or believe in the bible, but to say that evolution is supported by the bible is one of the dumbest claims I've ever heard.
The bible makes NO REFERENCE to species EVOLVING out of other species. That's what evolution is. I don't think you have any idea what evolution actually is or, for that matter, what you're talking about. What you were saying was not talking about evolution, merely timeframes.
And the bible is clearly talking about FOUR CORNERS OF EARTH, not four dimensions.

Those were two separate arguments. The four dimensions was an analogy to show what it would be like to tell an ancient person that the Earth is round and you can't fall off of the edge.

Face it, the bible and science are clearly incompatible. And you've only made yourself look foolish.

As to your age, I figured as much. I believe you've visited the forum before, haven't you, Kevin?

Yes. I'm quite famous 'round these parts. My mischief has merited its own board!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

I shouldn't waste my time since you've already lied to us and to Jesus about your age, claiming to be 18.... Anyways, I don't think that you can say anything about four dimensions and four corners and try to link them together with a straight face. Such attempts at science are a slap in the face of God. For shame!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Those were two separate arguments. The four dimensions was an analogy to show what it would be like to tell an ancient person that the Earth is round and you can't fall off of the edge.

I know the analogy, a similar one can be made by saying that if you put an ant on a balloon, to that ant, the balloon will appear infinite as it walks round and round it, whereas we see the balloon as it truly is.

But the point is, the bible and science do not support each other. The bible and the creation theory in there was written by men, men who at the time had no knowledge of science, and that explanation to them seemed as likely as any.

I'm not here to tell anyone what to believe (More to point out biblical flaws to the landover baptists), I'm actually Pagan, but I'm merely pointing out that; with regards to the physical evolution of life on Earth, either look at it one way or the other way, but to say that the two support each other is like trying to mix oil and water. You can try, but the two just won't mix.

Yes. I'm quite famous 'round these parts. My mischief has merited its own board!

So I see.

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

I shouldn't waste my time since you've already lied to us and to Jesus about your age, claiming to be 18.... Anyways, I don't think that you can say anything about four dimensions and four corners and try to link them together with a straight face. Such attempts at science are a slap in the face of God. For shame!

Meh. That's just a formality to get approved to the boards. I've openly admitted to my age on many occasions. Besides getting past the filter, I have no problem with telling you how old I am.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Jesus' Foreskin Stolen

Meh. That's just a formality to get approved to the boards. I've openly admitted to my age on many occasions. Besides getting past the filter, I have no problem with telling you how old I am.

There is no "filter". You simply acknowledge -- if you read the TOS which you never have properly, it seems -- that you are 18 or older. And we make it plain that the board is not suitable for those under 18. Which, if you think about it, makes a mockery of some of your complaints, doesn't it?

It is true that many false religions attempt to reconcile evilution and the Bible, but, of course, they fail miserably. One notion is that there is a great gap between Genisis verses one and two, during which time evolution occured.

Pure nonsense, of course. Such idiots will -- all the Boy-buggering Maryworshipers included -- will burn in hell.