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  • Marshall
    Righteous and Patriotic
    Highest body count at the VFW
    True Christian™
    • Oct 2006
    • 3322

    #1

    Drug addled Satanist manages to make it to 60

    Ozzy Osbourne, who is a sinful Satanist, has defied the odds and been allowed by Jesus to live to 60 years today. I can only suspect that all the drugs and liquor have pickled his innards thus rendering the AIDS and VDs ineffectual.
    I know Jesus has a plan with this scummy sinner, I can't for the life of me figure out what it is but I'm sure it's important. Maybe Ozzy exists simply to lead the weak and the wicked into suicide for Satans sake. He is surely a tool of the Devil and Jesus continuing to allow him to live can only mean he isn't done harvesting Goths yet.
    God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
  • Mr. Jingles
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Aug 2007
    • 574

    #2
    Re: Drug addled Satanist manages to make it to 60

    He's going straight to Hell on a crazy train...

    Comment

    • Daisy Mae Johnson
      The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
      Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
      aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 15708

      #3
      Re: Drug addled Satanist manages to make it to 60

      Originally posted by Mr. Jingles View Post
      He's going straight to Hell on a crazy train...

      orHELL Train
      sigpic

      Tweet me Here
      My GODLY Bio Here

      Comment

      • Nobar King
        Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
        Christ's Guardian
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2007
        • 23748

        #4
        Re: Drug addled Satanist manages to make it to 60

        Don't they use embalming fluid for him? It certainly looks like it.
        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78555

          #5
          Re: Drug addled Satanist manages to make it to 60

          Originally posted by Marshall View Post
          Ozzy Osbourne, who is a sinful Satanist, has defied the odds and been allowed by Jesus to live to 60 years today. I can only suspect that all the drugs and liquor have pickled his innards thus rendering the AIDS and VDs ineffectual.
          I know Jesus has a plan with this scummy sinner, I can't for the life of me figure out what it is but I'm sure it's important. Maybe Ozzy exists simply to lead the weak and the wicked into suicide for Satans sake. He is surely a tool of the Devil and Jesus continuing to allow him to live can only mean he isn't done harvesting Goths yet.
          I've heard that him and that other dead-looking guy....Keith something, the demon drummer from the Ruling Stoners, they both get their blood replaced twice a year with the blood of young, nubile Christian virgins. They pay a million dollars everytime as hush money to the girls' families, and get joo doctors to perform the transplants on a remote desert island up in communist russia!

          That, plus they have a pact with satan.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

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