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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552
    #1

    Crop Circles Mystery Solved: Doped-up Austrian Rats Responsible

    Well even I have to admit that I'm surprised by THIS story. All this time I had assumed that satan was causing Scottish hippies to create these "crop circles" and similar sinful phenomena, in an attempt to discredit Jesus. It turns out to be stoned Austrian tree rats who are responsible.

    Stoned wallabies make crop circles

    SYDNEY (Reuters) – The mystery of crop circles in poppy fields in Australia's southern island state of Tasmania has been solved -- stoned wallabies are eating the poppy heads and hopping around in circles.

    "We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," the state's top lawmaker Lara Giddings told local media on Thursday.

    "Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high," she said.

    Many people believe crop circles that mysteriously appear in fields around the world are created by aliens.

    Poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids said livestock which ate the poppies were known to "act weird" -- including deer and sheep in the state's highlands.

    "There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," said field operations manager Rick Rockliff.

    Australia produces about 50 percent of the world's raw material for morphine and related opiates.
    I had no idea that Austria was the world's leading dope pushing country. No wonder God hates them.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • Nobar King
      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
      Christ's Guardian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2007
      • 23748
      #2
      Re: Crop Circles Mystery Solved: Doped-up Austrian Rats Responsib

      Is the wallaby one of the aboriginal races?
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment

        • SayvedByTheLord
          Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
          True Christian™
          • May 2007
          • 3151
          #3
          Re: Crop Circles Mystery Solved: Doped-up Austrian Rats Responsib

          Their explanation is very suspect. That is a former penal colony, my guess is that the Aussies are partaking and stumbling in circles.

          It is also a nation of wiccans, joos, and brainless females, they probably run naked through the poppies, Jesus is not pleased


          Leviticus 26:27-29

          27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
          28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
          29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

            Comment

            • Dr. Zaius
              Member of Landover Zoological Society
              Forum Member
              • Jan 2008
              • 249
              #4
              Re: Crop Circles Mystery Solved: Doped-up Austrian Rats Responsib

              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
              Is the wallaby one of the aboriginal races?
              No,
              Originally posted by wikipedia
              the wallaby is any of about thirty species of macropod (Family Macropodidae). It is an informal designation generally used for any macropod that is smaller than a kangaroo or wallaroo that has not been given some other name.
              Not to be confused with that other wallaby_(manga warning).
              Ack!

                Comment

                • Johny Joe Hold
                  Mayor of Freehold
                   
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 12391
                  #5
                  Re: Crop Circles Mystery Solved: Doped-up Austrian Rats Responsible

                  Now a couple of Limies are claiming they made crop circles in England in the 1980's. For myself, I don't think we should let our guard down. What if they really were made by aliens and are some kind of communication with other enemy societies in space?

                  Now is not the time to let our guard down.

                  https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/12/s...p-circles.html

                  Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                    Comment

                    • Dennis Lukes
                      Innkeeper for Christ
                      True Christian™
                      • Dec 2018
                      • 2379
                      #6
                      Re: Crop Circles Mystery Solved: Doped-up Austrian Rats Responsible

                      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                      Now a couple of Limies are claiming they made crop circles in England in the 1980's. For myself, I don't think we should let our guard down. What if they really were made by aliens and are some kind of communication with other enemy societies in space?

                      Now is not the time to let our guard down.

                      https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/12/s...p-circles.html
                      We know that the liberal elites have been in contact with the aliens ever since Harry Truman's top secret summit meeting with the Roswell crash survivors in 1947. They're the ones who taught the Democrats how to harvest adrenochrome from the blood of children. They're not extraterrestrials of course, but demons from Hell. The liberals don't believe in demons, so they think they're actually in league with aliens. I'd wager that the crop circles are being made by some middle-ranked Democrats high enough to know about the aliens but not high enough to be granted access to the summoning spells. Like the cargo cults of primitive black-skinned retards, these vandals think their crop circles will bring them rewards. Better not pull that crap in a gun owner's field or it'll be the last thing they ever do that doesn't involve flames.
                      I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                      Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                      But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                      From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

                        Comment

                        • MitzaLizalor
                          Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2010
                          • 14187
                          #7
                          Re: Crop Circles Mystery Solved: Doped-up Austrian Rats Responsible

                          Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
                          They're not extraterrestrials of course, but demons from Hell. The liberals don't believe in demons, so they think they're actually in league with aliens.
                          Could the demons be bending crops down using magnets?

                            Comment

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