Godly Cartoonist Dies

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Praise Jesus, it isn't often that you'll hear a pastor sing the praises of a cartoonist who published weekly in secular newspapers. That tribe tends to be made up of homersexurals and joos with an axe to grind against the Holy War on Terror.

But all of True Christendom™ was saddened when the creator of the much-beloved comic strip "B.C." passed away on Easter Sunday. Johnny Hart was a deeply devout Christian, who spent something like 60 years portraying human beings living alongside various dinosaurs, just as God tells us it happened in the Holy Bible.

Brother Hart was a master at subtlety and innuendo. I have had this strip below framed in my pastoral study for several years. See if you can guess the symbolism he uses.

Now Brother Hart DID stir up some controversy during his years on earth. THIS Easter Sunday strip he published a few years ago got the hebes all in an uproar, but who actually cares what Christ-killing joos think anyway?

I'll leave you with one of my favorites, one that is simples but to the point. I believe all secular textbooks out to bear the images below on their cover, the better for children and teachers to understand what monkey worshiping scientists are truly up to.

Unfortunately, it seems unlikely that Brother Hart is doing anything but being slowly roasted alive over an open pit in satan's deepest caverns even as you read this. You see he also created another secular comic strip, a precursor to the current "Hairy Porter" devilry that we pastors are forced to do battle with each and every day. I refer of course to "The Wizard of ID", a comic that glorified sorcery as a chosen lifestyle.

I hope this will serve as a lesson for us all. Praise Jesus!

[Marshall]

Re: Godly Cartoonist Dies

You can do all the good in the universe and it add to nothing in the face of the smallest sin. Hart would have been a wonderful addition to the Holy Choir if it wasn't for his condoning of Satanism with the accursed comic of Id. That comic was reasonably cut from the local papers around here after we raised a fair amount of Glory over it. The BC comic always puzzled me though. Here was an obviously devout man, drawing religiously positive cartoons...about cavemen? Every True Christian™ knows cave men didn't exist and further more everything BC was Before Christ. How would these imaginary men of caves know of his sweet temporary death at the hands of the Jews and pagans if they were alive long before the fact?

Puzzling indeed. I guess it must be awful to be him right about now. I imagine he wishes he wouldn't have glorified Satanism now doesn't he?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Godly Cartoonist Dies

I understand that he was a member of the Presbyterian Church or some such have-a-nice-day, almost-Christian coven. Under the perfect plan of salvation decreed by our infinitely loving and merciful God, if you worship the right God, but in the wrong way, you will still go to hell:

Matt. 7:21-23: Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Besides, didn't he include talking clams in his comic strips? What could be sillier than a talking clam? The Bible tells us that serpents and asses can talk, but not clams.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Godly Cartoonist Dies

Brother Hart was a master at subtlety and innuendo. I have had this strip below framed in my pastoral study for several years. See if you can guess the symbolism he uses.

I slam, you slam, everybody slams Islam.

Rah, rah, raaazberry!