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  • Larry Lee
    Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
    True Christian™ Theologian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 4464
    #1

    GLORY! Twitter's a-tweet w/news of the imminent demise of Vanuatu

    Brothers and Sistern, I'm here to spread the breaking news that the Lord is on the verge of wiping out an entire nation! SHOUT GLORY! An unbelievably huge 7.8 earthquake off the coast of the Pacific island nation of Vanuatu is sending a an even HUGER tsunami to wash away the cannibals and pedophiles that offend God there. It's true! The tsunami hasn't struck yet, but it's about to! I heard it on Twitter! and, boy, is God pleased with Himself today. Thank you, Lord, for ridding the Earth of this human rubbish.
    sigpic

    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: GLORY! Twitter's a-tweet w/news of the imminent demise of Van

      Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
      Brothers and Sistern, I'm here to spread the breaking news that the Lord is on the verge of wiping out an entire nation! SHOUT GLORY! An unbelievably huge 7.8 earthquake off the coast of the Pacific island nation of Vanuatu is sending a an even HUGER tsunami to wash away the cannibals and pedophiles that offend God there. It's true! The tsunami hasn't struck yet, but it's about to! I heard it on Twitter! and, boy, is God pleased with Himself today. Thank you, Lord, for ridding the Earth of this human rubbish.
      Praise Jesus! And by the way I am posting this from the Presidential Suite at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Tokyo, where we are in the middle of a Godly hurricane! Jesus has already smited a few chinks and today promises to provide even more examples of His Love.

      Oddly enough I don't feel a thing here in the suite. The view of trees being uprooted and paper houses being blown around is awesome though.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Larry Lee
          Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
          True Christian™ Theologian
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 4464
          #3
          Re: GLORY! Twitter's a-tweet w/news of the imminent demise of Van

          Here's the latest tweet, just so you know Landover is on top of this breaking story of God's WRATH:

          CARE Australia staff in Vanuatu report on twitter "can see big wave coming".
          Jesus could not be happier.

          We'll keep you posted on when the wave hits and Vanuatu sinks beneath the sea, where it belongs.
          sigpic

          I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

            Comment

            • Oakland "Reb" Griner
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2009
              • 2241
              #4
              Re: GLORY! Twitter's a-tweet w/news of the imminent demise of Van

              Vanuatu ???


              Never heard of it.


              And it appears, I never will.


              Praise Jesus!!
              Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

                Comment

                • Petal
                  LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 991
                  #5
                  Re: GLORY! Twitter's a-tweet w/news of the imminent demise of Van

                  Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                  Here's the latest tweet, just so you know Landover is on top of this breaking story of God's WRATH:

                  CARE Australia staff in Vanuatu report on twitter "can see big wave coming".
                  man them ozzies be deads now cuz everyone no that when you see the wave it be to late to runs, bet they regrets movings thier tweet fingers over the keypads an not movings thier fat liddle legs over the sands

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Isaac Peters
                      Senior Pastor
                      Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                      Always Biblically correct
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 10639
                      #6
                      Re: GLORY! Twitter's a-tweet w/news of the imminent demise of Van

                      Vanuatu is a socialist nation that opposed President Reagan's Godly foreign policy. They have sown the wind and are reaping the whirlwind.
                      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                      Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                      sigpic

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                        • Larry Lee
                          Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
                          True Christian™ Theologian
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 4464
                          #7
                          Re: GLORY! Twitter's a-tweet w/news of the imminent demise of Van

                          Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
                          Vanuatu is a socialist nation that opposed President Reagan's Godly foreign policy. They have sown the wind and are reaping the whirlwind.
                          Isn't that the truth, Brother. There's no news from Vanuatu today, so I'm assuming God fulfilled His will, and the country is no more. Praise!
                          sigpic

                          I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

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