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  • Jesus Solves Murder Case

    You know, there are times that I just cannot understand what Jesus is thinking. THIS is one of those times. I mean, the cops in Jew York City are greatful, but the guy just took out a homeless old hag and hastened her trip to hellfire. Why solve the case now?

    'JESUS' CRACKS COLD CASE

    June 9, 2007 -- The devil may have made him do it, but it was Jesus who made him confess.

    An Arizona man shocked cops in the East Village this week by walking into the local precinct and announcing that he'd strangled a woman on East 13th Street during an argument in 2004 - and that Jesus Christ wanted him to turn himself in.

    Authorities said the confession has solved the previously cold-case murder of Myrna Gonzales, a 45-year-old homeless woman whose body was found folded into a large steamer trunk in a vacant lot at East 13th Street and Third Avenue.

    "We wish Jesus would solve more of these," one law enforcement source said.

    Michael Mohr, 51, might have gotten away with the slaying. But he'd recently had a religious conversion, and realized Jesus wanted him to do the right thing.

    Gonzales' body was found June 6, 2004, in a vacant lot outside Mohr's building.

    "He was relieved," said one law enforcement source. "He was a little emotional. He was just glad to get it off his chest."

    Well, Praise Jesus and thank you for bringing us your divine justice. I suppose I'll just have to ask you about it once I'm Raptured up to be with you.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: Jesus Solves Murder Case

    Excuse me Sir but why for 'Jew York' do you spell Jew correctly though when talking about people of the Jewish Faith you refer to them as Joos?

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    • #3
      Re: Jesus Solves Murder Case

      Originally posted by Jesse View Post
      Excuse me Sir but why for 'Jew York' do you spell Jew correctly though when talking about people of the Jewish Faith you refer to them as Joos?
      I meant to type New York, not Jew York. You never made a typo boy?

      I guess it does seem appropriate now that you mention it.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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      • #4
        Re: Jesus Solves Murder Case

        Michael Mohr
        Has there been any confirmation on whether or not this is an alias for Communist propganda-maker Michael Moore?


        Shameless plug for the O'Hanley Show:
        This week on the O'Hanley Show- Left wing mockumentary film maker Michael Moore strangles homeless women, we have the shocking details here on the O'Hanley show!
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