Monkey worshipers are at it again

[Nobar King]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

Add another story to the annals of monkey worship:

Revered Monkey God Named Chairman of India Business School

Saturday, June 07, 2008

LUCKNOW, India — He's a revered Hindu monkey god. And now, he's the chairman of an Indian business school.

Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday.

The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Vivek Kangdi, the school's vice chairman.

"It is our belief that any job that has the blessings of Lord Hanuman is bound to be a success," said Kangdi. All Hindus know that Hanuman can lift mountains and leap oceans, but ancient texts make no mention of his business acumen.

"When we were looking for a chairman for our institution, we scanned many big names in the field of technology and management. Ultimately, we settled for Lord Hanuman, as none was bigger than him," Kangdi said.

Hanuman is one of the most popular gods in the crowded pantheon of Hindu deities. His most famous feat, as described in the Hindu epic the Ramayana, was leading a monkey army to fight the demon King Ravana and rescue a kidnapped princess.

The Sardar Bhagat Singh College in Lucknow, the capital of Uttar Pradesh, India's most populous state, awards bachelor's degrees in engineering and management. The school opened last year.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

Of course. There was a limit to how old Adam could grow. God had promised to kill Adam on the very same day he ate the apple, "for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." (Genesis 2:17)

Since one day is with the Lord as a thousand years (2nd Peter 3:8), God had to kill Adam before his 1,000th birthday. You do the math.

Ah Pastor Prune, so this explains it! I had never understood the age of Adam and the thousand years of God. I was taught all my life the false-christian ways. Now it is as if reading and studying the Bible for the very first time.

Giving thanks for true verses explained by wise True Christian pastors, Sister Noddy

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

Ah, then Adam was just a spring chicken ... just goes to show the ignorance of false moonslim legend

Of course. There was a limit to how old Adam could grow. God had promised to kill Adam on the very same day he ate the apple, "for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." (Genesis 2:17)

Since one day is with the Lord as a thousand years (2nd Peter 3:8), God had to kill Adam before his 1,000th birthday. You do the math.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

Dear friend:

Please do not put your faith in either Wickedpedophile.org or mooselimb legends. For one thing, Adam lived only 930 years (Genesis 5:5).

Ah, then Adam was just a spring chicken ... just goes to show the ignorance of false moonslim legend

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

From the same wikipedia entry:

Dear friend:

Please do not put your faith in either Wickedpedophile.org or mooselimb legends. For one thing, Adam lived only 930 years (Genesis 5:5).

[Nobar King]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

From the same wikipedia entry:

"According to an Islamic legend, the Biblical Adam used the bridge to reach Adam's Peak in Sri Lanka, where he stood repentant on one foot for 1,000 years, leaving a large hollow mark resembling a foot print. Both the peak and the bridge are named after this legend."

Turns out it is not a bridge, but a chain of limestone shoals. Since there is proof that Adam walked across this 'bridge', I think it is imperitave that it be saved as an historical artifact.

They should add some historical markers and a church at both ends, plus some Christian hotels for the faithful. I guess that's one reason why one would visit Sri Lanka.

[Nobar King]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

I used google to look this up, and learned that the REAL name of the bridge is Adam's bridge, so obviously it was made by Adam, the first man, and not a bunch of shit throwing monkeys.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam's_Bridge

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

No really, this time they are real monkey worshipers. And they are angry because they want to protect a bridge made by - wait for it - a gook god and an army of monkeys:


Report on Hindu god Ram withdrawn (B.B.C.)

Hindu hardliners say the project will destroy what they say is a bridge built by Ram and his army of monkeys.

...

Hindu activists say the bridge was built by Lord Ram's monkey army to travel to Sri Lanka and has religious significance.

This myth is utterly implausible. Why would anyone, even a dothead demon and his monkey mates, want to go to Sri Lanka? The idea of anyone wanting to go to Sri Lanka is just illogical and absurd.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

False religion makes people do strange things, doesn't it? The Hindaloo hard-liners want reality to conform to the Book of Ramadamadingdong, or whatever it's called, which is a book of ancient myths entirely unsupported by evidence. We really should send missionaries there, so that they can reject such antiquated nonsense and find Christ instead.

Praise Jesus! You are as right as rain Pastor Peters, as always. But anyone we send to such a Godless cesspool must be extraordinarily strong in Christ. I'm sure you recall what happened recently with the so-called "peaceful" dotheads.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

False religion makes people do strange things, doesn't it? The Hindaloo hard-liners want reality to conform to the Book of Ramadamadingdong, or whatever it's called, which is a book of ancient myths entirely unsupported by evidence. We really should send missionaries there, so that they can reject such antiquated nonsense and find Christ instead.

[lord warrior]

Re: Monkey worshipers are at again

And all the evolutionists are up in arm's, for there little brothers are in trouble.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

No really, this time they are real monkey worshipers. And they are angry because they want to protect a bridge made by - wait for it - a gook god and an army of monkeys:


Report on Hindu god Ram withdrawn (B.B.C.)

Hindu hardliners say the project will destroy what they say is a bridge built by Ram and his army of monkeys.

Scientists and archaeologists say the Ram Setu (Lord Ram's bridge) - or Adam's Bridge as it is sometimes called - is a natural formation of sand and stones.

No evidence

In their report submitted to the court, the government and the Archaeological Survey of India questioned the belief, saying it was solely based on the Hindu mythological epic Ramayana.

They said there was no scientific evidence to prove that the events described in Ramayana ever took place or that the characters depicted in the epic were real.

Hindu activists say the bridge was built by Lord Ram's monkey army to travel to Sri Lanka and has religious significance.