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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555
    #1

    Jesus Chokes Queer With Hotdog

    Praise Jesus! Don't ever let anyone tell you that God doesn't have a sense of humor. THIS is just hilarious!

    Child molester inmate dies after choking on hot dog

    ATWATER, Calif. (AP) Prison officials say a convicted child molester and kidnapper died last month after choking on a hot dog.

    Forty-five-year-old Frederick Fretz was serving a 20-year sentence at the federal penitentiary in Atwater.

    Prison spokesman Jesse Gonzalez says medics tried to remove the hot dog from Fretz's throat before taking him to a Merced hospital. He was pronounced dead on Dec. 19.

    According to The Orlando Sentinel, Fretz pleaded guilty in 2005 to kidnapping an 11-year-old boy from Marion County, Fla.
    I hope this is a lesson to all you homers and mary worshiping "fathers" out there. Jesus does not play games. That fag is probably gagging on that wiener for all eternity down in the lake of fire.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • ultima
      Unsaved trash
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 41
      #2
      Re: Jesus Chokes Queer With Hotdog

      Or maybe (This might be a big twist) he simply choked to death? I know, what a shocker. Where did you get the idea that Jesus did it to him?

        Comment

        • SalvationSeeker
          True Christian™ Theologian
          Forum Member
          • Sep 2006
          • 3892
          #3
          Re: Jesus Chokes Queer With Hotdog

          Originally posted by ultima View Post
          Or maybe (This might be a big twist) he simply choked to death? I know, what a shocker. Where did you get the idea that Jesus did it to him?
          From the fact that Jesus is allmighty and thus NOTHING happens without His permission or direct involvement.
          If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
          A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
          Proverbs 9:12-13

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78555
              #4
              Re: Jesus Chokes Queer With Hotdog

              Originally posted by ultima View Post
              Or maybe (This might be a big twist) he simply choked to death? I know, what a shocker. Where did you get the idea that Jesus did it to him?
              When really bad things happen (like you get eaten by wild beasts, get killed in war, get sick and die, etc.), then you'll know that it was God that did it to you. Why don't you read the Bible for yourself?

              Ezekiel 14:13 Son of man, when the land sinneth against me by trespassing grievously, then will I stretch out mine hand upon it, and will break the staff of the bread thereof, and will send famine upon it, and will cut off man and beast from it:

              14:15 If I cause noisome beasts to pass through the land, and they spoil it, so that it be desolate, that no man may pass through because of the beasts:

              14:17 Or if I bring a sword upon that land, and say, Sword, go through the land; so that I cut off man and beast from it:

              14:19 Or if I send a pestilence into that land, and pour out my fury upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast:

              14:21 For thus saith the Lord GOD; How much more when I send my four sore judgments upon Jerusalem, the sword, and the famine, and the noisome beast, and the pestilence, to cut off from it man and beast?
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Little Miss Sara
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 10
                  #5
                  Re: Jesus Chokes Queer With Hotdog

                  Haha, this is just rich.
                  Made my day a lot better, thanks guys.

                  This should happen more often!

                    Comment

                    • Jewsef
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Dec 2007
                      • 90
                      #6
                      Re: Jesus Chokes Queer With Hotdog

                      First time there is good news about American "food". Wonder myself, why named a sauces hotdog, you people originate from chine?
                      Rom. 16:17: Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

                        Comment

                        • Salvation X
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                          • Jan 2008
                          • 15
                          #7
                          Re: Jesus Chokes Queer With Hotdog

                          How many people choke to death every year without Jesus' help? Just because this guy was a child molester does not mean it was divine intervention.

                            Comment

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