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  • Brother Temperance
    Senior Usher
    True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
    A very nice young man
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15621
    #1

    THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

    Yes, it's true, apparently Hillary's funeral is tomorrow. I'm not sure entirely what happened, but I'm guessing Barack Obama flew into a wild negro rage and gunned her down in the street. Here's a link to an effete British news article on the story, although typically enough they ignore the real story in favour of some limp-wristed trash about the Royal Family enraging inbred New Zealanders by skipping Hillary's funeral.
    Attached Files
    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
    Tags: None
    • SUV
      True Christian™ Princess
      The Driving Force behind RA12
      Have at it, anytime!
      • Sep 2006
      • 11027
      #2
      Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

      Ding-dong, the (word that rhymes with "witch") is Dead!

      Hi-ho the derrie-O! Satan take 'er, way down LOW!

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556
          #3
          Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

          Sad to say, the wild aboriginal kiwi media got it wrong again. The filthy bulldyke is still alive and well.

          Our Godly fight continues.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • eliot mayfield
              God Squad
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 9324
              #4
              Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

              Yeah, they got me too! You know that ticker thing at the bottom of the screen? I was watching BBC news to see what new devilerity the Brit's were up to when I saw this:

              thousands mourn Hillary's death.
              Boy was i let down when I heard the truth.
              Matthew:
              5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
              5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
              10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
              10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


              sigpic

                Comment

                • VictoryOS
                  True Christian™ Beauty Queen
                   
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 5389
                  #5
                  Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

                  Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                  Boy was i let down when I heard the truth.
                  I agree. This thread has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Now I don't wish death on anyone, no matter how wicked they are. However, Hilarious Clin-toon's demise would have benefited America greatly.
                  Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                  in 2016

                    Comment

                    • Brother Temperance
                      Senior Usher
                      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                      A very nice young man
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 15621
                      #6
                      Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

                      Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                      Yeah, they got me too! You know that ticker thing at the bottom of the screen? I was watching BBC news to see what new devilerity the Brit's were up to when I saw this:

                      thousands mourn Hillary's death.
                      You should've realised it wasn't the same Hillary as soon as you saw that. The fact that it said "mourn" and not "celebrate" is a dead give-away.
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                        Comment

                        • Wide-Open
                          Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                          A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                          Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                          True Christian™
                          • Nov 2007
                          • 18449
                          #7
                          Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

                          Let's face it, her demise wouldn't even make CNN. People would just shrug and go about their daily business.
                          Psalm 81:10:
                          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                            Comment

                            • VictoryOS
                              True Christian™ Beauty Queen
                               
                              • Dec 2007
                              • 5389
                              #8
                              Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

                              I don't know, Brother Wide-Open. There are a lot of America-haters in the world. They know that Hellery is their best shot at bringing down God's Favorite Country. Maybe they wouldn't be mourning her death, but they would mourn the death of their own selfish dreams.
                              Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                              in 2016

                                Comment

                                • Wide-Open
                                  Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                                  A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                                  Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Nov 2007
                                  • 18449
                                  #9
                                  Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

                                  Originally posted by VictoryOS View Post
                                  I don't know, Brother Wide-Open. There are a lot of America-haters in the world. They know that Hellery is their best shot at bringing down God's Favorite Country. Maybe they wouldn't be mourning her death, but they would mourn the death of their own selfish dreams.
                                  Eek!

                                  What is the world coming to when a feeble brained woman actually makes more sense than a True Christian Belgommar™. Maybe I'm too detached from the real world right now, and hiding in shelters and being under siege most of the time doesn't help either.

                                  These are end times indeed.

                                  Still, that hurt Sister Vic. I hope you see the error of your ways and cry yourself to sleep tonight.

                                  Exodus 22:23
                                  If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry;
                                  Psalm 81:10:
                                  I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                                  open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                                    Comment

                                    • VictoryOS
                                      True Christian™ Beauty Queen
                                       
                                      • Dec 2007
                                      • 5389
                                      #10
                                      Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

                                      My apologies, Brother Wide-Open. I didn't mean to cause you any emotional harm. Really, when I was typing that post I had no idea what I was saying. The fact that it makes sense is just another testimony to the Power of the Lord. No demons control my fingers, just Jesus!
                                      Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                                      in 2016

                                        Comment

                                        • Brother McGregor
                                          Godly Brit
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Jan 2008
                                          • 376
                                          #11
                                          Re: THIS JUST IN: HILLARY'S DEAD!

                                          he was a pretty good climber and straight too.

                                          To you agents of false religions and atheists...
                                          Proverbs 16:2
                                          All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.

                                            Comment

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