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  • WilliamJenningsBryan
    True Christian™
     
    • Jan 2007
    • 9384

    #1

    Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

    The "Religion of Peace" is on the warpath again, and no doubt residents of Freehold are as dismayed as I was to read the MSM headlines about the new coalition of mooselimbs called ISIS taking over Iraq. The obvious question is whose side are we on? The answer is Jesus of course, and in this case we can all sit back, make some popcorn, and watch God's wrath unfold.

    From the MSM reports, it looks like another one of those Sunni vs. Shia mooselimb sect clashes, and the good news it that they are killing each other and both sides are armed with Godly American weapons. There can be no doubt in anyone's mind that the Holy Spirit guided Godly George W. Bush to set this all in motion after 9/11.

    So, what are the Shia and Sunni fighting about? It doesn't really matter, but for the curious check out the following links for all the excruciating detail (with some ominous comparisons between the cathylicks and the protestants).

    Islam has two main branches: Shia and Sunni. This split in the religion stems from a political and spiritual difference of opinion about who should have succeeded Prophet Muhammad after his death in 632 CE. Major tenets and beliefs are often similar between the two branches, but some important differences exist.


    What's the difference between Catholic and Protestant? Catholicism and Protestantism are two denominations of Christianity, just like Shia and Sunni are sects of Islam. While the Pope is the head of the Catholic Church, Protestantism is a general term that refers to Christianity that is not subject to papal au...



    What is the difference between Sunni and Shia Muslims?
    May 28th 2013, 23:50 by S.B

    CLASHES between Islam's two big sects, the Sunni and the Shia, take place across the Muslim world. In the Middle East a potent mix of religion and politics has sharpened the divide between Iran’s Shia government and the Gulf states, which have Sunni governments. Last year a report by the Pew Research Centre, a think tank, found 40% of Sunnis do not consider Shia to be proper Muslims. So what exactly divides Sunni and Shia Islam and how deep does the rift go?

    The argument dates back to the death in 632 of Islam’s founder, the Prophet Muhammad. Tribal Arabs who followed him were split over who should inherit what was both a political and a religious office. The majority, who would go on to become known as the Sunnis, and today make up 80% of Muslims, backed Abu Bakr, a friend of the Prophet and father of his wife Aisha. Others thought Muhammad’s kin the rightful successors. They claimed the Prophet had anointed Ali, his cousin and son-in-law—they became known as the Shia, a contraction of "shiaat Ali", the partisans of Ali. Abu Bakr’s backers won out, though Ali did briefly rule as the fourth caliph, the title given to Muhammad’s successors. Islam's split was cemented when Ali’s son Hussein was killed in 680 in Karbala (modern Iraq) by the ruling Sunni caliph’s troops. Sunni rulers continued to monopolise political power, while the Shia lived in the shadow of the state, looking instead to their imams, the first twelve of whom were descended directly from Ali, for guidance. As time went on the religious beliefs of the two groups started to diverge.


    http://www.economist.com/blogs/econo...st-explains-19
    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
    sigpic
  • Mother Of Seven
    True Christian™ with a quiverful
    • Jan 2014
    • 2243

    #2
    Re: Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

    Interesting. You would think that the Shia would have to be in the right. Why follow a mere friend of their prophet? And what's more, that friend was the father of the 6 year old bride to their prophet!


    But really, who cares. All of them are destined for Hell. Surely the best solution is to just nuke the whole region - what use is that area to anyone?

    Comment

    • Naomi Ruth Lamb
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2013
      • 999

      #3
      Re: Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

      Brother William,

      You are such a learned man, and I do not profess to understand things of war since I am but a lowly woman and concern myself with flowers and pies and finding a husband much of the time (while looking for a bargain at Saks or Tiffany).

      However, it seems to me that once we removed our glorious soldiers from Iraq, we said "Dear Iraq: Hate Baghdad, Hate you. Blow up your towel headed selves and save us some oil when you're done. Love, USA."

      Would it be such a shame if the United States said PIFFLE YOU, IRAQ, we don't care anymore? Or would Christ want us to once again restore peace and justice to the area? He did say seventy times seven, after all.

      Perhaps if I brought them my pie, it would help? I am more than willing to share with every single one if it might mean I could bring a peace to the region. To whom would I go to seek permission?

      Thank you, Brother William, for your Godly wisdom and masculine understanding of things like this.

      NRL
      1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
      Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
      Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
      Locations in 50 States and Canada
      !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
      Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
      Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

      Comment

      • Alvin Moss
        Serving Jesus
        True Christian™
        • Aug 2013
        • 4468

        #4
        Re: Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

        Let us thank God for the wisdom and guidance of President Brother George Bush, who followed in the path set by his own learned father, President Brother George Bush (the other one) and set in motion events which continue to smite the enemies of God, even after our own country has fallen into the hands of communists.

        Truly, this is cause for celebration.
        Last edited by Alvin Moss; 06-15-2014, 05:08 PM. Reason: insufficient commas
        God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78555

          #5
          Re: Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

          I join with other GOP leadership in saying "Let the mudslims kill each other."



          They're all animals anyway.

          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Johny Joe Hold
            Mayor of Freehold
             
            • Feb 2010
            • 12529

            #6
            Re: Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

            Originally posted by Alvin Moss View Post
            Let us thank God for the wisdom and guidance of President Brother George Bush, who followed in the path set by his own learned father, President Brother George Bush (the other one) and set in motion events which continue to smite the enemies of God, even after our own country has fallen into the hands of communists.
            Truly, this is cause for celebration.
            The wisdom of the Bush family comes through loud and clear. It was a brilliant strategy to invade Iraq. It set off the battles we are watching today. As soon as those two branches of Islam have killed off each other, Iraq will be Christian.

            I hoping to be in Iraq when George W. Bush is carried into Baghdad on the shoulders of American soldiers holding high the cross.
            Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

            Comment

            • Wide-Open
              Director of European Evangelical Outreach
              A Shining Example of Christ's Love
              Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2007
              • 18449

              #7
              Re: Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

              Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post

              I hoping to be in Iraq when George W. Bush is carried into Baghdad on the shoulders of American soldiers holding high the cross.
              Indeed Mayor Hold. He will not only win their hearts and minds, but also their soles.
              Psalm 81:10:
              I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
              open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

              Comment

              • WilliamJenningsBryan
                True Christian™
                 
                • Jan 2007
                • 9384

                #8
                Re: Get Your Islamic Jihad Guide Here

                Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                Brother William,

                You are such a learned man, and I do not profess to understand things of war since I am but a lowly woman and concern myself with flowers and pies and finding a husband much of the time (while looking for a bargain at Saks or Tiffany).

                However, it seems to me that once we removed our glorious soldiers from Iraq, we said "Dear Iraq: Hate Baghdad, Hate you. Blow up your towel headed selves and save us some oil when you're done. Love, USA."

                Would it be such a shame if the United States said PIFFLE YOU, IRAQ, we don't care anymore? Or would Christ want us to once again restore peace and justice to the area? He did say seventy times seven, after all.

                Perhaps if I brought them my pie, it would help? I am more than willing to share with every single one if it might mean I could bring a peace to the region. To whom would I go to seek permission?

                Thank you, Brother William, for your Godly wisdom and masculine understanding of things like this.

                NRL
                As always Sister Lamb, your humanitarian concerns and love of Jesus' infinite mercy mirror the warmth afforded by your freshly baked pies. However, in this case the mooselimbs in Iraq were indeed offered Salvation® through the precious Blood of Jesus and they rejected it.

                Godly Ann Coulter in the aftermath of 9/11 was the first to offer the correct prescription - kill their leaders and convert the population to Christianity.



                Indeed we did follow through on our Sister Coulter's recommendation, although little is known of our extensive efforts as outlined in this report from the Krauts (ignored, if I might add, by our own biased MSM).



                Now while we here at Landover Baptist Church have had our differences with the Southern Baptist Convention over the years, and add the fact they can be more than a little inept from time to time - just how hard can it be to hand out some Bibles, do some witnessing, and sing a few hymns.

                The fact of the matter is that these mooselimbs are still clinging to their un-holy Koran and their AK-47's. As to Barack HUSSEIN Obama, he's from Kenya and they're all sunni mooselimbs and like cathylicks with the pope, they choose their leaders. No doubt Obama, like the veritable puff of black smoke that arises from the Vatican every so often, would like to see himself elected to lead the next caliphate.

                As to myself, the Fox news channels is on Hi-Def on the big screen and it occurs to me that I have not as yet taken advantage of your generous offerings to sample your definitive pies since moving to Freehold. Without divulging your secret recipe, if I might inquire whether you use Crisco or butter in making your crusts?
                Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                ...and get off my lawn
                sigpic

                Comment

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