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December 2006 Church Newsletter December 7, 2006
Notice to Members: Purchasing products from the Landover Baptist Store "Where Only Jesus Saves!" during the Holiday season will help keep your favorite church online for another year! Shout Glory!
WAR ON CHRISTMAS CASUALTY REPORT:Santa Claus Clings to Life After Brutal Horsewhipping by Angry Children!
"When ambulances arrived almost two hours later, a crowd of cheering church members had already shown up. I'm told that each of them had a Godly opportunity to kick and spit on that old devil" Full Story!>
MRS. BETTY BOWERSBattle Report From the War on Christmas! Read the dispatch from the front lines of America's War on Christmas from America's Best Christian, Mrs. Betty Bowers. Click Here
Does God Approve of Our Yuletide Rituals?Consult the scriptures and take our Christmas Bible Quiz to find out what Jesus has to say about some of our traditions!Read More!> 
NATIVITY PLAY NIGHTMARE:Baby Jesus Leaps From Manger, Hurls Wet Donkey Manure Into Faces of Shocked Audience! "You mark my words, next year the we'll double baby Jesus' meds so His holy Valium won't wear off until after the last curtain call!" Read More!>"
Reader Mail! Authentic e-mails, sent directly to our Pastor's inbox from the heartland of God's Country. Updated with November 2006 e-mail! Let Me See!
Santa Claus: The Devil's Favorite Disguise! Learn the truth about that fat red demon! Do unsaved kids deserve any gifts on Jesus' Birthday? Shocking stories and reports from the Landover Christmas archives! Peruse!>
FROM THE VAULT:Accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Get a Free Playstation 3!
An extended, limited time offer, exclusively from the Landover Baptist Church!Read More!>
Jesus is The Reason For the Season, And He is Also the Reason You Are Going Straight to Hell!All new: "Lap of the Lord" Landover Christian Mall Cards and Shotgun Greeting Cards! Only available in the Landover Baptist Store! Click Here to start your holiday shopping! 
God's Top 20 Holiday Gifts For Unsaved PeopleBrowse and purchase the Lord's most popular holiday gifts this year in the Landover Baptist Store's Top 20 List! Have a Look!>
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The Landover Baptist website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under 18
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